Post by tnr9 on May 25, 2018 22:21:21 GMT
B actually said something very kind to me and I find I have a hard time believing him....it is the most odd thing...and I never really caught onto this before but I caught myself downplaying it....telling myself it was an obligation or that he simply did not want to hurt my feelings....I was suspicious of his motives. Wow....I know this is important to share because I am stirred up in fear of judgement. I also know exactly what this stems from. When I was younger and my parents divorced...my dad and mom would say all kinds of nice things....but it all felt empty, it all felt like a trick to get me to be/act differently and it wasn't consistent or followed through with actions. Even today, when my mom tells me how proud she is of me or how much she loves me...it doesn't penetrate all the built up feelings of "not enough" and "too much". Same with my dad. I don't trust their words and I am realizing I don't trust B's either. I am not even sure what to do with this newish information. I am not sure how to let good things in. Any suggestions.
