Be aware of some on this forum...

I am not even sure how to interpret this post Rockgirl. I am sorry to see you go...but the above sounds a bit like the gray state documentary I just watched on Netflix. It would have been a bit more helpful to understand the manipulation you are alluding to rather than saying it is sad that I don't see it.

Hey Rockgirl.
Some great achievements in your life and so varied well done girl 😘
I work in mental health with adults with extremely metal and physical challenging behaviour.
I love what I do and don't see it as work but I will admit it can be very stressful at times.
I'm not familiar with love bombing and don't have lots of experience with different relationships as I was in a very long term marriage from an early age until I lost him two yrs ago but will find out more about it thanks.

I try to take what I need from this forum and leave the rest.
I also hope people get something out of my shares and experience.
I have re read the threads from the last forum and I do understand your decision to leave.
People celebrating your decision to leave the forum I find very distasteful and very childish.
I did feel a little triggered and uncomfortable after re reading it properly again yesterday and the direction it took esp towards yourself and epic as i got what you were both saying and read it differently than others perhaps did. It made me sad because were all hear to heal and all bring different stuff and experiences to the table.
You take care lovely and thanks again Xx

Hey Christie...thank you for clarifying things....I don't feel I am being manipulated against you and Rockgirl....I don't really know either of you well enough to judge.

Juniper is not a Narcissist...that is what is being implied by love bombing/gas lighting. I have been in relationships with Narcissists and I have been love bombed and gas lighted and I know that experience very well...and to be honest...it makes me angry that Rockgirl is implying that I haven't learned and grown from those two extremely painful relationships and that I am just a sheep in need of rescue. I am a grown woman, yes I have my moments of being regressed...but I am very capable of making my own decisions. Juniper and I have not always seen eye to eye....she doesn't post in all my threads and vice versa...but there is mutual understanding that it isn't personal...how could it be? We are posting as two distinctly different people with different lenses on the world and on relationships. I have learned a ton from her about how she see things differently from me which helps me to see her more as her own person and not just "the voice of the DA" which she gets unfairly pegged as often. She has also gone through some pretty traumatic shit and has grown from it and I am happy that she has found a partner with whom she is enjoying a fulfilling relationship. Isn't that the goal of all of us here? To learn from our traumatic shit and then grow. I read the 10+ page post and I took in what I needed to and I left the rest to others who needed to continue the dialogue. None of it changed how I viewed anyone...you, juniper, Epicgum, Faithopelove, Mary, mrob, Rockgirl...I read it all and just thought...if this is what everyone needs to express...ok..

I am just curious why I am the poster child to be pitied and called out as being manipulated. I am not waiving a banner or taking sides.....I honestly view you and Rockgirl positively as individuals to contribute your voices to the collective forum. If anything...I had hoped you would stay to share more of who you are and what your journey has taught you. I learn from everyone here whether I agree and can relate or don't agree and can't relate. I do wish you and Rockgirl well on your journey.

No - I'm not coming back - I've just briefly returned to clarify a couple of things:

BTW - I wonder if any of you Anxious-types are connected with juniper outside of this site ... FB, email, WhatsApp?
Now, that would be REALLY dangerous...

1) My comment:
"...away from the toxicity of some of the (self-proclaimed) 'gods' here."  

@jeb - this is not reflection on the brilliant work you have done on creating this site and forum (it's just some of the members...)
I wrote 'self-proclaimed' because, as an IT consultant it was clear to me that this is an auto-generated label activated once a set number of posts is reached.

But clearly, if someone wants power, they will attempt to attain the status as quickly as possible.  Then, when they have the coveted title (less so anxious-types, because as per epicgum 's post about brain function, the drivers are very different...), the gods' views are not seen as questionable by the less well-informed. 

2) Spot on @christie :
"Rockgirl warns you about love bombing and gas-lighting... why? Because there's two junis. The good juni, who will reward you (YEY! you're awesome!, don't worry, hun), and the upset juni who will punish you whenever you have a different opinion than her. It's subtle, of course, but once you're here long enough and you don't bend under her, you'll notice".

Plus all the gas lighting, minimising, name-calling, manipulation.
I was very briefly manipulated by her in the past, whilst at a very vulnerable time - but I quickly saw through it / her - and THAT is why she frequently attacked me / manipulated my comments / manipulated you. I see her for exactly what she is.  

That is what many of you cannot see and it is heartbreaking. You are taken in by her words and ithas been so painful to see that.

It also illustrates why you may be treated disrespectfully by others, since you are taken in and trust someone who isn't worthy of trust / is disrespecting  you / subtly violating your boundaries without you being aware (read up about the boiling frog). You are also easy targets.

Once you have survived and separated from those sorts of people, you can then spot them a mile away and see through their manipulation and games (See Richard Grannon / Melanie Tonia Evans / Lisa A Romano for more info). 

3)
@christie 's reference to the comments on Page 6: even the OP @faithhopelove cannot see that the attempts to help her were twisted (by juniper) and manipulated to look as though we were against her, which was so untrue / inaccurate / twisted.

That is sad and a shame, but hey, yes, we're all adults, as are you @faithhopelove.

4) As with any other social media, be aware of how much time you spend on here - too much time on here really is unhealthy.  

Unless it was Jeb (the respectful originator and creator of this forum/ site)(which it isn't), if someone is frequently posting in threads across the board, with a high number of comments and an air of 'authority', you would need to question why.  
Why do they need to do that?  
If they are so healthy and "earned-secure", why on earth would they need to spend so much of their life tangled up in others' lives on an internet forum (and maybe messaging them outside of the forum). (and why do they keep needing to state that they are secure, wouldn't it be obvious?)
...Unless they thrived on control and power over others, who maybe look up to them in some way.
A secure person would be out living their life, with other people away and letting others just be. (Ref. Acceptance of self and others).

5) Finally; respect to @christie for also standing your ground!

As @christie said, be very careful what information you shared about yourself on here - certain members can and will use that against you, to control you via shaming, name-calling, labelling.  
anne12 - the way you were treated a few months ago was despicable, unfortunately you were shamed 'down'.

To be ganged up on and then those same celebrating me deleting my account is really quite sick behaviour and not something I would do, even to those that have treated me badly - even to juniper.  I am calling out toxic, unacceptable behaviour - not wishing her badly.

But, as they say, you can't change others, only yourself.

I'm in the PTG (Post Traumatic Growth - something else very interesting and valid)) stage and have no need to return to the type of toxicity of my distant past relationships, however much I would like to continue to help others through what I went through. My need for self-care is now greater than the need to help others (a healthy transition for me). 

It's about learning to respect  / love yourself / respect your boundaries / rights and needs and stand up directly against those that try to violate them.

Hozier - Nina Cried Power: brilliant song, a tribute to the spirit and legacy of protest.

Which is why I am off, bye 

@trn9 - I didn't say / state that you hadn't grown or learnt - I saw that you had and applaud you for that. 

Learning to not be manipulated is a major step forward in growth.
You 'liked' a post where I was badly slated by juniper, that's one example of your being manipulated -  I used to be like that but am so saddened when I see it happening to others.

Its OK to feel angry at me - but I am just sad that you felt it was OK to treat me like that and that you cannot see the manipulation.  Just with ADD/ADHD -> ASD being a spectrum, so is attachment.

When you have truly grown / learnt, you will see (probably through experience) that someone doesn't have to be a full-on narc to still be manipulative and controlling, press your buttons and overstep your boundaries.  There is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.  

Kind wishes to you.

I think a heated topic with a lot of personal experiences that are varied and different can and does make misunderstandings more prevalent.....I actually was going to post in response to mrob...because I can truly empathize as my brother went through the same inappropriate conversations with our mom where she told him that he needed to treat a girl with respect and how he needed to take care of her...my brother was 12 or so....this was too much responsibility for a young boy just trying to figure out what it meant to be a man without an involved dad and with an angry, bitter, serious mom...that has haunted every single relationship he has ever had ever since then. I knew however given the direction the thread was going, it would not be received in the manner I wanted it to...so I decided not to post it. When I get stirred up...sometimes I will purposely not post but journal instead...because it likely isn't the post that is stirring me up...but something else.