Post by jay33433 on Jan 17, 2019 21:00:41 GMT
Hi everyone! I can relate to a lot of your stories about being involved with dismissive avoidant partners, and I really feel like the guy I've been seeing fits this attachment style. I'd love to hear what you all think.
So I've been seeing this guy casually and long distance for 3 years. We've kept it casual because I'm in college and he was in the military at the time, but we've discussed making it official once I've graduated and he's out of the military. The first year of seeing him was great- he made an effort to text me and would make plans to come down and visit me at school. After about a year he started to not reach out as much and wouldn't keep up texting conversations. That really frustrated me because that was our primary form of contact since we were long distance. The most I'd hear from him was when he'd drunkenly call me on the weekends telling me how much he missed me and how amazing I am. He would make the excuse that he was out on the boat (Coast Guard) and had no service, so there were a lot of times where I couldn't reach him. I knew that wasn't a total lie, but I also knew that he had opportunities to talk to me that he wasn't taking. He also has not talked to me for months at a time then come back into my life like nothing happened. He's done this multiple times throughout the past 3 years. It hurt me a lot when this would happen, but I just excused it for the fact that he's gone for long periods of time. When we would get together it was always great, we have the same sense of humor and have great chemistry; I've never felt a connection like this to anyone else before. He would talk openly about our future- one time he even said how he can see me being his wife/mother of his kids. But then it just confused me when he would suddenly just stop trying to contact me. He would also make plans with me a lot and then blow them off. His behavior doesn't match what he says at all. Fast forward to today- he just got out of the Coast Guard a few weeks ago and now he called me (late at night, probably drunk) to talk about being with me now that he's out of the military for good. This was the first time he's spoken to me in months, so I refused to speak to him because of how fed up I've been. He claims to have no idea why I'm mad, when I've told him many times that his lack of communication really bothers me. I just don't know if things would be any different if we were to make if official now that we aren't long distance anymore. What do you think? Does he sound dismissive avoidant?
So I've been seeing this guy casually and long distance for 3 years. We've kept it casual because I'm in college and he was in the military at the time, but we've discussed making it official once I've graduated and he's out of the military. The first year of seeing him was great- he made an effort to text me and would make plans to come down and visit me at school. After about a year he started to not reach out as much and wouldn't keep up texting conversations. That really frustrated me because that was our primary form of contact since we were long distance. The most I'd hear from him was when he'd drunkenly call me on the weekends telling me how much he missed me and how amazing I am. He would make the excuse that he was out on the boat (Coast Guard) and had no service, so there were a lot of times where I couldn't reach him. I knew that wasn't a total lie, but I also knew that he had opportunities to talk to me that he wasn't taking. He also has not talked to me for months at a time then come back into my life like nothing happened. He's done this multiple times throughout the past 3 years. It hurt me a lot when this would happen, but I just excused it for the fact that he's gone for long periods of time. When we would get together it was always great, we have the same sense of humor and have great chemistry; I've never felt a connection like this to anyone else before. He would talk openly about our future- one time he even said how he can see me being his wife/mother of his kids. But then it just confused me when he would suddenly just stop trying to contact me. He would also make plans with me a lot and then blow them off. His behavior doesn't match what he says at all. Fast forward to today- he just got out of the Coast Guard a few weeks ago and now he called me (late at night, probably drunk) to talk about being with me now that he's out of the military for good. This was the first time he's spoken to me in months, so I refused to speak to him because of how fed up I've been. He claims to have no idea why I'm mad, when I've told him many times that his lack of communication really bothers me. I just don't know if things would be any different if we were to make if official now that we aren't long distance anymore. What do you think? Does he sound dismissive avoidant?
