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Post by nottheonion on Feb 2, 2019 13:18:40 GMT
So some of you might have seen my previous posts. Since I withdrew and kinda dismissed this guy by saying “I have a lot going on now. Talk you’re back”. I’ve not heard from him and that was 8 days ago. I’m not sure when he’ll be back Part of me thinking he’s right for not replying and that I should reach out in another week if he doesn’t. The other part of me thinks now that I have calmed down, what if I feel like withdrawing again? I know that withdrawal really stems from my deep insecurity. He’s a freelancer and loves travelling so I was afraid he would just leave the country and never comes back. He was in a relationship with someone for 8 years and lived with her half of those times. How could I compete? Maybe I should just find someone who’s like me, single for a long time and never lived with anyone. Etc etc This really isn’t about if things would work out between us. It’s more about if I actually feel secure enough about myself to take a chance and actually go through with it. At this stage I feel more calm about the possibility of losing him forever. I feel stressed about plunging back in and getting myself hurt. Maybe I should just get over myself and be brave for once  |
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Post by epicgum on Feb 2, 2019 15:05:14 GMT
Be brave for once!
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Post by 8675309 on Feb 2, 2019 16:22:15 GMT
Be brave!
As they say... its better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all.
Also just because someone was with someone for years doesn't mean anything. They didnt work out for a reason and you're 1000X better than she will ever be.
I was with the most recent ex for 5 years and we lived together, he does not factor into anything new and nobody has to compete in anyway at all. We didn't work out for a reason... I rarely think about him.
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Post by faithopelove on Feb 2, 2019 18:27:21 GMT
Be brave!! I’ve always regretted every decision I ever made that was motivated by fear.
I reach out to my DA (with newfound confidence now) and I let him know what I want. Sometimes he goes along with it and sometimes he doesn’t (!) but he could never say I don’t offer or that I’m not consistent - and he can never pretend to not know what I want. And in the more rare occasions he does say no now- I’m growing in my security and contentment with a negative answer.
Don’t be afraid! Treat him like you would any good friend- with the knowledge you are WORTHY!!
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Post by sissyk on Feb 2, 2019 23:09:35 GMT
So some of you might have seen my previous posts. Since I withdrew and kinda dismissed this guy by saying “I have a lot going on now. Talk you’re back”. I’ve not heard from him and that was 8 days ago. I’m not sure when he’ll be back Part of me thinking he’s right for not replying and that I should reach out in another week if he doesn’t. The other part of me thinks now that I have calmed down, what if I feel like withdrawing again? I know that withdrawal really stems from my deep insecurity. He’s a freelancer and loves travelling so I was afraid he would just leave the country and never comes back. He was in a relationship with someone for 8 years and lived with her half of those times. How could I compete? Maybe I should just find someone who’s like me, single for a long time and never lived with anyone. Etc etc This really isn’t about if things would work out between us. It’s more about if I actually feel secure enough about myself to take a chance and actually go through with it. At this stage I feel more calm about the possibility of losing him forever. I feel stressed about plunging back in and getting myself hurt. Maybe I should just get over myself and be brave for once You are overthinking. Reach out and see what happens if you are tempted at all. Taking a chance is something you get better at. When you face rejection and survive, it is freeing. Get rejected enough and it loses its power and grip. Playing it safe is a smaller way to live. |
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Post by mrob on Feb 3, 2019 7:02:34 GMT
Completing the FA circle. Be prepared to feel like you want to be alone again!!
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Post by nottheonion on Feb 3, 2019 14:27:05 GMT
Thank you guys. You’re right. If I don’t experience pain and get back up again, I won’t feel more secure about myself. I always thought if I dated more I’d take the pain more easily but at the same time I was just protecting myself so I wasn’t really open to any potential pain. Now I’m just left with regrets of not doing it properly with some of the dates I’ve been with.
I reached out to him almost 24 hours ago. He hasn’t replied to me. I don’t know whether he will ever again. On top of that, I had a huge argument with my friend and he didn’t wanna talk to me ever again. Now I’m just having a good cry and taking in the pain. I needed it.
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Post by nottheonion on Feb 3, 2019 15:19:43 GMT
Be brave! As they say... its better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all. Also just because someone was with someone for years doesn't mean anything. They didnt work out for a reason and you're 1000X better than she will ever be. I was with the most recent ex for 5 years and we lived together, he does not factor into anything new and nobody has to compete in anyway at all. We didn't work out for a reason... I rarely think about him. I really wish I didn’t need to see it from someone else to believe it. I wish I had more faith in myself to at least not withdraw. I messaged him but I don’t think he’d want to reply again, for whatever reason. I have faith tho I will be ready and make myself ready next time round. |
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