|
|
Post by tnr9 on Aug 20, 2019 4:08:12 GMT
I want to start this post by thanking everyone on this board throughout the time I have been here...for allowing me to share my thoughts, my pain, my questions, my fear and my breakthroughs.
Tonight I got my answer....B is dating this other girl. The details are really irrelevant....the point is...I have my answer...no more wondering, no more story making, no more hoping for a second chance. I am both numb and sad...but there is also a peace. I have been planning for this for such a long time...afraid of the inevitable as if I could protect my heart from being hurt by looking for signs.
i am sure I will have set backs...moments where I will feel so incredibly disconnected and I will wish and hope for a different answer...but there is no fighting reality. I don’t think I can be friends with him at the moment...it wouldn’t make sense while he is building a new relationship for him to spend any time with an ex. It also doesn’t make sense for me to be around him, knowing that his heart is firmly elsewhere. I know that this will be good...at some point it will feel ok...just grateful to be a bit numb at the moment.
|
|
|
|
Post by hannah99 on Aug 20, 2019 8:25:34 GMT
I remember feeling these similar feelings when I found out my ex had moved on. It will be a rollercoaster.
My best piece of advice...don't go after her.
|
|
|
|
Post by tnr9 on Aug 20, 2019 10:21:42 GMT
I remember feeling these similar feelings when I found out my ex had moved on. It will be a rollercoaster. My best piece of advice...don't go after her. I would not do that...he has every right to date whoever he wants to date. |
|
|
|
Post by hannah99 on Aug 20, 2019 11:07:23 GMT
I mean trying to find things out. I spent months looking at her social media counts. Awful.
|
|
|
|
Post by tnr9 on Aug 20, 2019 13:53:45 GMT
I mean trying to find things out. I spent months looking at her social media counts. Awful. She and I are not friends so I can’t see her information and B hardly posts. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2019 15:34:48 GMT
Now you know the truth, I hope it provides the closure and encouragement to move on.
You deserve someone who can provide you with an equal love.
All the best.
|
|
|
|
Post by tnr9 on Aug 20, 2019 16:07:36 GMT
Now you know the truth, I hope it provides the closure and encouragement to move on. You deserve someone who can provide you with an equal love. All the best. Thank you. One day at a time. |
|
|
|
Post by toorational on Aug 20, 2019 20:04:30 GMT
I've been there too so I understand. Best advice I can give is to totally remove yourself from his life and force yourself to keep no contact. Unfriend him from social media so you're not tempted to snoop and you don't accidentally see a picture of him and her. You can now finally move on and work on improving yourself. Time will heal things. Good luck.
|
|
|
|
Post by kisstheviolets on Aug 22, 2019 20:29:29 GMT
I want to hug you❤️
Do you want to narrate how you found out and what you know?
|
|
|
|
Post by tnr9 on Aug 22, 2019 20:32:10 GMT
I want to hug you❤️ Do you want to narrate how you found out and what you know? No....because it does not matter...in the end...that keeps the focus on him. |
|
|
|
Post by kisstheviolets on Aug 23, 2019 21:48:46 GMT
So very true. I have read your posts going back on this situation and you resonate with me. So many things you have said I have thought.
May I ask you, if I remember correctly it’s been a while since y’all were together? How do you feel about how long this has played out for you? I would love to hear your insight❤️
|
|
|
|
Post by tnr9 on Aug 24, 2019 2:08:16 GMT
So very true. I have read your posts going back on this situation and you resonate with me. So many things you have said I have thought. May I ask you, if I remember correctly it’s been a while since y’all were together? How do you feel about how long this has played out for you? I would love to hear your insight❤️ I think there are two answers....one that is self aware and self honoring and one goes into shame. From an aware and self honoring perspective...I don’t put a timeframe on it...to me...a process is individual...and in the 2 years I do believe I have grown...and faltered...but then grown some more. From a shame perspective...I could consider myself as having failed at getting over B as quickly as B got over me. I could get caught up in how much time I have spent in the cycle of hope....but then....what good with that do other than to lead me back down a rabbit hole of needing someone else to make me feel ok about myself. No, I chose the first direction of self aware and self honoring. And I still do love B....but the time to focus on him has run it’s course and now the focus is squarely back to me. |
|
|
|
Post by kisstheviolets on Aug 24, 2019 3:01:38 GMT
Do you feel so utterly exhausted of it?
This comes from my absolute deepest empathy for you. I know for me, it’s just been two years that I was with this man and it has just exhausted me. It’s been many months and I’m still so occupied on it constantly, just always so sad and I am so so scared it will be a very long time to feel some peace. I just want some peace. I think this is why your story resonates with me so much because I have thought to myself many times that I hope you find some peace. I think a big part of that for you was finding out the truth maybe?
Just thinking of you💕
|
|
|
|
Post by tnr9 on Aug 24, 2019 3:51:10 GMT
Do you feel so utterly exhausted of it? This comes from my absolute deepest empathy for you. I know for me, it’s just been two years that I was with this man and it has just exhausted me. It’s been many months and I’m still so occupied on it constantly, just always so sad and I am so so scared it will be a very long time to feel some peace. I just want some peace. I think this is why your story resonates with me so much because I have thought to myself many times that I hope you find some peace. I think a big part of that for you was finding out the truth maybe? Just thinking of you💕 Thank you....life overall has been pretty exhausting....I cannot place that on B. Here is a question that I have had to ask myself...does my focus on B distract me from something else that I do not want to face? Peace comes through acceptance...and yes....I think that knowing B is with someone else does stop the inner chatter of..is it her? What about her? And so on. But I also think peace can be found in gratitude....taking a few minutes each day to reflect on what you are grateful for in the midst of your occupation on him. Do not put yourself on a timeline...because you will likely resent, resist as well as feel shame. Take each day and just do what you can with that day. 💕💕 |
|
|
|
Post by tnr9 on Aug 24, 2019 3:53:48 GMT
|
|
