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Post by tnr9 on Sept 8, 2019 0:27:21 GMT
I actually am better now....I think getting the feelings out really helped. I haven’t blocked B....I really don’t see a purpose in that unless he was reaching out, which he isn’t. Although I saw he liked and posted on my friend’s page, I did not go to his page. I think my biggest challenge is just letting a like or a comment be just that and not overlaying some kind of interpretation onto it. Just one I was in another friend’s page and he liked some of her pictures....but there was also a video of her and me and he did not like that..so my natural inclination is to think he saw it and did not like it because he is mad at me...but I have nothing to base that on but my own paranoia and self centered perspective. It seems I still have work to do on boundaries. You are doing good:) Why do you think B is mad at you? I think maybe I missed that? It is an irrational fear that he is mad at me because I defriended him without saying anything.
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Post by iz42 on Sept 8, 2019 6:46:47 GMT
tnr9 Perhaps blocking seems extreme and unnecessary but it doesn’t have to be forever— it might be helpful for a short period of time to avoid triggers while you begin to heal. Seeing any of his activity could be potentially distracting and upsetting. Up to you of course but I speak from experience on this front...
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 8, 2019 10:41:07 GMT
tnr9 Perhaps blocking seems extreme and unnecessary but it doesn’t have to be forever— it might be helpful for a short period of time to avoid triggers while you begin to heal. Seeing any of his activity could be potentially distracting and upsetting. Up to you of course but I speak from experience on this front... Yeh....but how am I supposed to get to the root of triggering if I remove/block all things that trigger me.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2019 12:34:13 GMT
When you start therapy - your therapist should help you to find this answer.
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Post by alexandra on Sept 8, 2019 16:02:53 GMT
tnr9 Perhaps blocking seems extreme and unnecessary but it doesn’t have to be forever— it might be helpful for a short period of time to avoid triggers while you begin to heal. Seeing any of his activity could be potentially distracting and upsetting. Up to you of course but I speak from experience on this front... Yeh....but how am I supposed to get to the root of triggering if I remove/block all things that trigger me. Because what's triggering you isn't the source. It's something older and deeper to uncover, and you can find that without getting triggered continuously by something that reminds you of a past dynamic... plus, you already have years of data about how he triggers you to work with! You don't have to block him, but a temporary break will still do wonders giving you space for self-focus, so stick with it.
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 8, 2019 20:05:18 GMT
Yeh....but how am I supposed to get to the root of triggering if I remove/block all things that trigger me. Because what's triggering you isn't the source. It's something older and deeper to uncover, and you can find that without getting triggered continuously by something that reminds you of a past dynamic... plus, you already have years of data about how he triggers you to work with! You don't have to block him, but a temporary break will still do wonders giving you space for self-focus, so stick with it. Yeh...not seeking him out....just giving myself space.
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 9, 2019 12:50:48 GMT
So...this weekend I went to visit my dad....he has Parkinson’s and was just released from the hospital for an as of yet undetermined issue which caused him to get really weak. During my visit, I found myself missing B more and when I got home...I found that I was more angry at other drivers on the road. My therapy appt is on Wednesday....so hopefully we can start a process of getting to the bottom of this.
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