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Post by tnr9 on Oct 25, 2019 12:19:59 GMT
The latest one that I have noticed is a story that implies that B is not FA....that I got that bit wrong, that he only has ADHD and that now with his new girlfriend everything is great...all smiles, no issues. Not sure why I keep coming up with scenarios that make me feel like I failed....what was there purpose in my life? How did they in any way help me? And now I am weepy.
just a thought here but I wonder if it is inverted anger....because it truly was not ok to be angry growing up...so I did a lot of internalizing of fault. I don’t honestly know how to move this forward...how to stop being blocked....I will discuss this with my therapist.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2019 13:02:24 GMT
Anger would have been a self protective response, and when it's thwarted it really does become blocked and trapped in your system. An SE therapist knows how to help you unblock it. I'm glad you're in touch with what's going on in you! Hang in there. Help is on the way.
I'm stuck in deactivation and I need to get back. My ditch that I return to is the deep conviction that I'm just passing through on this planet, and I am not going to get too deep with anyone or anything. Except my kids, I don't have a problem being full on for them.
I don't feel happy or unhappy, I feel mildly content. So it's not like it's extremely uncomfortable, in fact it's not unpleasant. But, I want to be free, to be by myself, walking the road alone when it's like this. I have good companions but don't feel attached to anyone, I just feel solitary, and like I want to be solitary.
Anyway, it's time to go back to my therapist and be where I'm at, with him. He'll help me figure out something.
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Post by alexandra on Oct 25, 2019 19:58:56 GMT
I know this isn't really the main issue and you'll do better examining your own narrative, but just to put some numbers on it... ADHD and FA aren't mutually exclusive.
Here's info from a 2011 study out of Tilburg University: "Most frequently, adults with ADHD reported the fearful attachment style (44 %), followed by the preoccupied style (27 %)."
Both conditions come with challenges. Both at the same time are a lot of challenges! In your situation, you've learned more about your needs from the whole thing and have started SE therapy. That's nothing to be down on yourself about.
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