NEW: Am I a fearful avoidant?

You can check out the following:
A trauma is any event that breaks through the body's stimulus barrier and leads to overwhelming feelings of helplessness. Freud
We are being traumatized if our ability to respond to a single threat is overwhelmed in one way or another (too much, too fast, too early especially if we can't reach successful resolution.' (Peter Levine)

Causes:

being in a warzone
tusnami, earthquakes ect.
shock trauma and overwhelmingness
attatchment trauma
bullying - Peter Levine: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYtlS7qTBHE
adoption
accident,
operation,
violence (verbal or physical) etc.
Rape

At the same time, trauma and trauma symptoms can be attributed to much more common events. It's typical:

traffic accident
operations
fall
death of close relatives
serious disease
loss of a partner / work / economy
too much stress
bullying at workplaces/bosses/collegeas with antisocial personality disorder/NPD
being in a relationship with a person with a personality disorder (ANSP/NPD/BPD ect.)
emotionally difficult situations in childhood such as bullying, drama, threatening or unpredictable atmosphere in the home, abusive parents, neglect of care or parents' quarrels and fights (which can be done very quietly, the mood is still recorded by the children). Even loving parents, who are heavily stressed, can be a burden for the children.
Concussions
Being born prematurely
In-utero stress experience (a soon-to-be mama who is overly stressed is common; as they’ve found in women who were pregnant during war or terror attacts.
Early surgical procedures (even ‘simple’ procedures such a tonsillectomies have debilitating effects on some kids and levels of PTSD can be equivalent, if not higher than veterans returning from war!
Eye surgeries and frequent dental work (even braces!) are another common procedures that we tend to miss when assessing early trauma.
Lack of emotional attunement. (Mis-attunement, as subtle as it may seen, is one of the more severe forms of early trauma.)
Being adopted. (Unfortunately, having a loving adopted family doesn’t inoculate you against the stress of being put up for adoption in the first place).
Parents who are addicted, anxious, depressed and/or not very present emotionally and/or aren’t embodied as a result of their own past traumas or being sick and unwell.

The baby and child feels it all!
That little nervous system only feels the lack of safety and constant threat. It doesn’t matter if it’s from gunfire and explosions, or the insidious silence of emotional neglect and mis-attunement, or being strapped down for a lifesaving surgery; the effect is the same.
To understand how these events throw a person off, we have to understand that trauma actually has less to do with the event itself, and more to do with how that event impacts the internal biology of the baby...

Have You been put into daycare too early.
Has there been enough attunement and connection with adults in the daycare/kindergarden ?
The length of your parents maturnity leave
Have your parents been away from You on hollydays when you were a child
Have you or one of your parents been hospitalised when you were a child
Have one of your parents been away on business trips when you were a child
Have one of your parents lost their own parents when you were a child
Have one of your parents had to take care of a sick parent or relative when you were a child
Have you had emotional absent caregivers
Physical absent caregivers
Limited nurturing contact with your parents/other caregivers
There could also be transgenerational trauma in your family
The culture you grew up in and the culture you live in now can have an impact on you
Ect.
Fighting for too long in a relationship is def ap or / and desorganised attatchment style / trauma traits.
Also drama, not being able to feel your own boundaries or feeling your own boundaries but questioning if your boundaries are okay is often a sign of some desorganised attatchment style or later trauma in life.

We can move in and out of the different attatchment coping mechanism in the same relationship.

jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1188/attatchment-style-decription-relying-thetests

As a person with some ap style you can confuse longing with love. If you miss your partner you think it is love. If you do not miss your partner you can think that you have fallen out of love with your partner. Also if you've got a partner who is available to you can loose interest and end the relationship yourself.
You can say to your partner that you want to take a brake to find out if you are going to miss your partner. If you find out that you. are missing your partner you can go back to your partner..