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Post by squirrelkitty on May 24, 2018 7:36:34 GMT
Wow, you objectify him pretty badly: you were cross that he didn't go to work because it meant you couldn't get married.
Don't you care about his needs and health?
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Post by squirrelkitty on May 24, 2018 7:44:24 GMT
PS: he was clearly going through a difficult time when he was unemployed and instead of supporting him, you expected him to be 'perfect'.
Plus, you shouldn't be thinking about having kids if you're not happy in your relationship. It can't be the kids' responsibility to be a symbol of commitment and make you two stay together. Kids are human, they shouldn't be tools for parents in a dysfunctional relationship.
Also, how much time do you think you'll spend together when you've got a child?
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Post by squirrelkitty on May 24, 2018 18:05:52 GMT
marlie I get what you mean about not being allowed to nurture someone in bad times. Most of the DA s I know are like that and it can feel as if they force you into a phony or fair-weather type of relationship by excluding you during bad times (I'm AP myself, but I don't objectify partners etc). It's probably one of their self-fulfilling prophecies because they fear that they won't get support. That's why it's so important not to objectify them, because they do that themselves (I. E. Others are only allowed to see them when they are 'useful'). But often, they don't give you a chance to look after them and that guy clearly left you no options. On the whole, this all sounds like trailer park levels of dysfunction 
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Post by squirrelkitty on May 25, 2018 5:26:42 GMT
Huh? Where have the OP's posts gone?
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Post by tnr9 on May 25, 2018 13:07:25 GMT
She deleted them. It happens..people change their mind about posting.
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