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Post by DearLover on May 30, 2018 22:02:12 GMT
I understand. talking and listening is exhausting to some people and it has a lot to do with talking styles rather than attachment styles I think, however you said you don't care about what people say so maybe you have both.
My DA ex BF liked listening to me but this is because he is a writer and is always on the look out for stories. I had some pretty insteresting (at least to him) stories to tell and he had a way to dig it out of me. He was a great listener in that sense, however anything to do with the relationship, he didn't want to hear. Or talk.
Even now that we are clearing our messy break up via text messages, he takes a lot of time to answer because he needs a lot of time to disgest, I think. I just fire away, I have all of the words and thoughts already organised in my head but that is because I have been trying to heal for the past 9 months while he has been trying to avoid everything.
Now, living together isn't a great idea in my opinion either. The only way I would ever do it again would be in a massive house and lots of hobbies for both of us as to not to spend too much time together and in routine. It kills me.
Interesting that you spent time on the phone not talking! I wonder how that works...
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Post by DearLover on May 31, 2018 11:17:05 GMT
This not talking on the phone business sounds awesome! Do you carry your phone around and do other chores while connecting this way? Do you keep checking to see if the other person is still there or do you trust they will say good bye before disconnecting the call?
Have you tried Skype or face time while having a meal, watching a movie etc? Or would that be too much?
I now that some people watch the same movie in separate houses while face timing. That is something that I would definitely try. DA ex BF and I used to LOVE watching movies together and now that we are separate I have to do it alone and I wish he was there as a movie buddy! He just said yesterday that he misses my company, so I might suggest this kind of interaction...I guess it would benefit both of us and make us feel safe at the same time.
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Post by tnr9 on May 31, 2018 11:38:28 GMT
Wow..fDA...it is going to be a bit confusing with two guys named "B" lol....but B ( as in the guy I dated) used to love watching TV series and movies on Netflicks. That was the majority of our time together...there were a few outings..but usually it was nice just to have a shared experience. I was definately more extroverted..but B said he tested as extroverted too. He is FA I think.
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Post by tnr9 on May 31, 2018 11:52:35 GMT
Wow..fDA...it is going to be a bit confusing with two guys named "B" lol....but B ( as in the guy I dated) used to love watching TV series and movies on Netflicks. That was the majority of our time together...there were a few outings..but usually it was nice just to have a shared experience. I was definately more extroverted..but B said he tested as extroverted too. He is FA I think. Oh... well, I might just start calling him "my ex" again, although I don't really like the sound of it. We'll find a way lol
Interesting! So attachment types might not be connected to extroversion/introversion at all. Just a thought I had  Oh..you should totally still use B...let the newbies believe we were dating the same guy. 😜 I was trying to think about my DA friends and whether they strike me as extroverted or introverted...I will need to think about that more. |
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Post by tnr9 on May 31, 2018 12:24:07 GMT
That is what I need to spend more time thinking about....my mom is introverted but she is FA. Hmmmm..interesting...
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Post by DearLover on May 31, 2018 13:58:11 GMT
Wow..fDA...it is going to be a bit confusing with two guys named "B" lol....but B ( as in the guy I dated) used to love watching TV series and movies on Netflicks. That was the majority of our time together...there were a few outings..but usually it was nice just to have a shared experience. I was definately more extroverted..but B said he tested as extroverted too. He is FA I think. Oh... well, I might just start calling him "my ex" again, although I don't really like the sound of it. We'll find a way lol
Interesting! So attachment types might not be connected to extroversion/introversion at all. Just a thought I had haha, I was very confused when I started reading this thread and read B.. Can you not add another letter to your B? surname, pet name, nickname? |
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Post by DearLover on May 31, 2018 15:21:02 GMT
haha, I was very confusing when I started reading this thread and read B.. Can you not add another letter to your B? surname, pet name, nickname? That is a good idea! I'll just say S when I refer to him. Ha. S is the initial for my ex. But, don't worry, I prefer calling him DAexBFUnless I change my mind and combine yours and Tnr9 together and call him BS instead... Bull Shit  Forgive me...I usually don't swear.. |
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Post by tnr9 on May 31, 2018 16:19:50 GMT
Ha. S is the initial for my ex. But, don't worry, I prefer calling him DAexBFUnless I change my mind and combine yours and Tnr9 together and call him BS instead... Bull Shit Forgive me...I usually don't swear.. HAHA! OMGoligoodness....😂 |
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Post by tnr9 on May 31, 2018 16:27:52 GMT
On the other topic of DA and extroversion or introversion....I am thinking about one friend in particular....she is very independent and very private. She is always busy and has a lot of guys who are interested in her. I think she is an introvert because she doesn't let a lot of people "in" to her world.
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Post by DearLover on May 31, 2018 17:01:41 GMT
That is a good idea! I'll just say S when I refer to him. Ha. S is the initial for my ex. But, don't worry, I prefer calling him DAexBFUnless I change my mind and combine yours and Tnr9 together and call him BS instead... Bull Shit Forgive me...I usually don't swear.. Not kidding! His initials are SB. I just need to switch them round Even though I probably have more b.s than him now that I can see so clearly |
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Post by DearLover on May 31, 2018 17:05:14 GMT
On the other topic of DA and extroversion or introversion....I am thinking about one friend in particular....she is very independent and very private. She is always busy and has a lot of guys who are interested in her. I think she is an introvert because she doesn't let a lot of people "in" to her world. Sounds like DAexBF but in public he has his charming persona turned on, being a Leo I think. My mum is totally DA and always has said her dream is to become an hermit |
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