What to do with an Emotionally Unavailable Man
Jun 26, 2018 13:48:28 GMT
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ocarina and mistakes like this
Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2018 13:48:28 GMT
This article is like sniffing salts for those who find themselves involved with an emotionally unavailable man.
While one might feel however they feel about the motives and actions of the unavailable man, it would be beneficial to examine and understand, with the same "smelling salt" awakening, the internal beliefs, delusions, and motivations that keep one hooked. Of course, attachment theory explains a lot.
It's bound to be triggering, but it's good stuff.
People are who and what and how they are. It's useless to fight against another persons modus operandi. What's useful is to understand our OWN modus operandi, and take it seriously, seriously enough to stop blaming someone else for the situation we find ourselves in. Seriously enough to stop focusing on what one can't control and turn a desperately willing focus onto what one CAN control. Oneself.
Every step of the way, we step. our own steps add up to a direction and we are responsible for where we end up.
Typically, unavailable men walk their own way and really don't deviate much outside a wobble to the left or right- his partner's steps fall in with his, and while there is grumbling all the way, still the partner step, step, steps and ends up where she doesn't want to be.
At any point, it's ok to admit the loss, admit you couldn't win him, admit you cannot sway him, and stop stepping.
Halt! it takes a lot to be able to do that. but if it's time, you'll know it. if you listen to the same heart that seems to love him so much but not enough to hurt anymore, you'll know if it's time.
anyway, i always liked this article for its candor.
www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/communication/what-to-do-with-an-emotionally-unavailable-man/
While one might feel however they feel about the motives and actions of the unavailable man, it would be beneficial to examine and understand, with the same "smelling salt" awakening, the internal beliefs, delusions, and motivations that keep one hooked. Of course, attachment theory explains a lot.
It's bound to be triggering, but it's good stuff.
People are who and what and how they are. It's useless to fight against another persons modus operandi. What's useful is to understand our OWN modus operandi, and take it seriously, seriously enough to stop blaming someone else for the situation we find ourselves in. Seriously enough to stop focusing on what one can't control and turn a desperately willing focus onto what one CAN control. Oneself.
Every step of the way, we step. our own steps add up to a direction and we are responsible for where we end up.
Typically, unavailable men walk their own way and really don't deviate much outside a wobble to the left or right- his partner's steps fall in with his, and while there is grumbling all the way, still the partner step, step, steps and ends up where she doesn't want to be.
At any point, it's ok to admit the loss, admit you couldn't win him, admit you cannot sway him, and stop stepping.
Halt! it takes a lot to be able to do that. but if it's time, you'll know it. if you listen to the same heart that seems to love him so much but not enough to hurt anymore, you'll know if it's time.
anyway, i always liked this article for its candor.
www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/communication/what-to-do-with-an-emotionally-unavailable-man/
