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Post by goldilocks on Jul 6, 2018 11:52:27 GMT
I agree.
It would be nice if more options were on the table when talking about living situations. Each could have a bed and bath, or a study of one´s own, or both.
Another option could be a kind of group house, where every person has an apartment, but there is a large shared kitchen and social room. Much like a hotel or a castle.
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Post by leavethelighton on Jul 8, 2018 0:07:40 GMT
Interesting article/study. You have to appreciate something that normalizes this sort of thing 
I can see it going in the opposite direction, however. Some older couples seem to either use humor, or find workarounds, or reach a deeper state of acceptance regarding what they may have found annoying in earlier stages of their marriage.
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Post by leavethelighton on Jul 8, 2018 0:09:43 GMT
I think acceptance is a tricky concept. Constantly having to strive to feel "acceptance" towards another can get in the way of attraction and desire. Early on in a relationship it is easy to overlook things that get in the way of attraction and desire, later on in a relationship it can be more difficult. On the other hand, if one is going to be in a long-term relationship (marriagelike) then what one means by "attraction" may need to also change over time. Desire and intimacy are two completely different things. Both are helpful in a love relationship, but the things that create desire include distance, polarity and mystery. Those actually decrease comfort and intimacy. It is rare to have both. Especially in the long run.
I fear you may be right about desire being about "distance, polarity and mystery." That does seem to be the story of my life, but then that also means I've had few romantic relationships centered around desire (they are centered around other compatibilities), and that's also unfulfilling in some ways. Maybe it doesn't have to be unfulfilling for life-- there is more to life, etc.-- but in my 30s, it's been kind of depressing. I feel like I'm missing out on some human experience other people seem to have had or have.
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