Post by cris88 on Oct 31, 2018 4:17:39 GMT
It may be that I'm FA outside a relationship and AP in one so everytime a relationship fails and I notice I am unwanted or unwelcome I retreat back to my cave without saying a thing. Or I say stuff but leave to never come back. Basically because I know I still want something that will never be so my feelings of inadequacy and fear of being mocked are heightened to the point I prefer to cut contact instead of being tortured by my own ""loving"" feelings towards the other person.
I'm friends with only one ex and that's because he used to be my best friend before the relationship started, he was my first love, it was long-term and after healing he contacted me again but all romantic feelings were gone. That's why I can be friends:
1. It's real, we both care for each other as friends.
2. No romantic feelings are involved.
3. I noticed he wanted to reconnect for real with no intentions of just using me for sex or 'in the meantime' company.
So it's different for everyone. It doesn't matter I am dying to reconnect. I will never make the first move but it comes from fear and pride. Still, it's my catastrophic defense mechanism.
I'm friends with only one ex and that's because he used to be my best friend before the relationship started, he was my first love, it was long-term and after healing he contacted me again but all romantic feelings were gone. That's why I can be friends:
1. It's real, we both care for each other as friends.
2. No romantic feelings are involved.
3. I noticed he wanted to reconnect for real with no intentions of just using me for sex or 'in the meantime' company.
So it's different for everyone. It doesn't matter I am dying to reconnect. I will never make the first move but it comes from fear and pride. Still, it's my catastrophic defense mechanism.
