Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2018 13:44:31 GMT
sometimes i wish i was further along in certain processes than i am, and i get discouraged. the long slog toward freedom from some things seems endless, and sometimes it feels like i have been treading forever, and am still treading.
that kind of pessimism can be nothing but a habit, formed in the hopelessness i have felt before when things truly seemed hopeless. I have a lot of hope these days, as i go deeper and deeper in my process of healing ancient wounds. sometimes i find the sheer magnitude of it staggering. The impact on my life. the way i had to twist myself to survive. how difficult it's been, to untwist myself and unfold into who i authentically am.
At times like that, i have noticed a joyful, hopeful little me popping up to remind me of how far i have come.
I just questioned as i wrote this- is it the adult me who is wise, encouraging me? or the young me, who is ever optimistic and trusting and hopeful , and has boundless energy to keep going?
And i get it, in this moment, they are one and the same. ❤️
It's critical to be able to count successes, and to validate for ourselves how far we truly have come.
Even for those just beginning- you have begun! that is something to celebrate. For those just beginning to step outside of themselves to ask for help, that is something to celebrate. For those of us who have been trekking a long time and wish to be done with it, we can see that our suffering today is not at all the same suffering we used to endure. let's not indulge in a habit of seeing only what's wrong, and focusing only on what hurts.
I am writing this because it's occurring to me now, as my internal healing process requires patience, being ok with not knowing , and listening in my inner stillness until things reveal themselves to me. I have to quiet everything to get to that stillness and listen.
The lessons used to be so glaringly obvious, in my early days of the journey. Now, they are more subtle, and require more insight. Sometimes i am stunned by what i learn, and can't believe i didn't get it sooner. But it's all a progression, a process carried out day by day and sometimes moment by moment.
Anyone on the path has a reason to celebrate.
that kind of pessimism can be nothing but a habit, formed in the hopelessness i have felt before when things truly seemed hopeless. I have a lot of hope these days, as i go deeper and deeper in my process of healing ancient wounds. sometimes i find the sheer magnitude of it staggering. The impact on my life. the way i had to twist myself to survive. how difficult it's been, to untwist myself and unfold into who i authentically am.
At times like that, i have noticed a joyful, hopeful little me popping up to remind me of how far i have come.
I just questioned as i wrote this- is it the adult me who is wise, encouraging me? or the young me, who is ever optimistic and trusting and hopeful , and has boundless energy to keep going?
And i get it, in this moment, they are one and the same. ❤️
It's critical to be able to count successes, and to validate for ourselves how far we truly have come.
Even for those just beginning- you have begun! that is something to celebrate. For those just beginning to step outside of themselves to ask for help, that is something to celebrate. For those of us who have been trekking a long time and wish to be done with it, we can see that our suffering today is not at all the same suffering we used to endure. let's not indulge in a habit of seeing only what's wrong, and focusing only on what hurts.
I am writing this because it's occurring to me now, as my internal healing process requires patience, being ok with not knowing , and listening in my inner stillness until things reveal themselves to me. I have to quiet everything to get to that stillness and listen.
The lessons used to be so glaringly obvious, in my early days of the journey. Now, they are more subtle, and require more insight. Sometimes i am stunned by what i learn, and can't believe i didn't get it sooner. But it's all a progression, a process carried out day by day and sometimes moment by moment.
Anyone on the path has a reason to celebrate.
