Post by mjk on Aug 10, 2018 4:14:04 GMT
“ The difference is, I entertain them out because they have no long potential”?!!... *Please help me understand what he means*
18 months with DA. Bouts of radio silence whenever we would get close. Give him space and then reach out. He’s told me that he has feeling for me and we have a connection like no one else. When we first started dating, he told me that he “wasn’t in A good place for a proper relationship because of time constraints due to shared custody of kids and work”. But we hit it off. I’m busy and understand about being a single parent. So we spent a lot of time at home hanging out, being affectionate, or he calls me daily etc. We squeeze in time around our schedules. Approx Nine months in, he starts creating drama out of the air with me. I have no idea what’s going on. Then my BFF catches him out with two separate women -30 years younger then him. When confronted he said “those were pseudo dates. I didn’t plan for them. I ran into them in the gym and asked them if they wanted to go get a bite to eat”. Pseudo dates?
We took a 2 month long break, which ended when DA discovered he didn’t like another man seriously pursuing me. We dated another 7 months. During this time, he admits to me (while broken up) that he let a woman come over from Ireland to stay in his space for a week over the holidays. And that he had considered pursuing another woman because she was “younger, child free and had lots of money in the bank”. (I’m no slouch by the way- in looks or earning potential). He then proceeded to tell me that those women didn’t work out because they weren’t me.
In July 2018, he started going silent and disappearing on every other weekend. I suspect other women again. However I was more angry that I was sitting at home while he was spending time with other women, then i was about actual cheating. I called him and told him that I loved him and valued him but didn’t feel that he showed the same to me, and I was going to leave our relationship. I did tell him I didn’t understand how he could have spent all that time with those other women, when he made such little time for me because he “didn’t want a relationship “. They at least got dates and to stay a week in his space!! His response to me was “ the difference is when I ‘entertained’ those ladies, there was no long term potential”. I don’t even know what means! How can bringing someone over from Ireland not imply long term potential? How can considering to pursue someone based on their age, bank account and child status not imply long term? And why the heck keep coming back to me, yet telling me that you don’t want LTR? Obviously he’s done some distancing cycles to me, but I don’t understand that comment. I am trying to move on but it eats at me that I cannot understand what his thinking was .
Thanks for insight and your time .
18 months with DA. Bouts of radio silence whenever we would get close. Give him space and then reach out. He’s told me that he has feeling for me and we have a connection like no one else. When we first started dating, he told me that he “wasn’t in A good place for a proper relationship because of time constraints due to shared custody of kids and work”. But we hit it off. I’m busy and understand about being a single parent. So we spent a lot of time at home hanging out, being affectionate, or he calls me daily etc. We squeeze in time around our schedules. Approx Nine months in, he starts creating drama out of the air with me. I have no idea what’s going on. Then my BFF catches him out with two separate women -30 years younger then him. When confronted he said “those were pseudo dates. I didn’t plan for them. I ran into them in the gym and asked them if they wanted to go get a bite to eat”. Pseudo dates?
We took a 2 month long break, which ended when DA discovered he didn’t like another man seriously pursuing me. We dated another 7 months. During this time, he admits to me (while broken up) that he let a woman come over from Ireland to stay in his space for a week over the holidays. And that he had considered pursuing another woman because she was “younger, child free and had lots of money in the bank”. (I’m no slouch by the way- in looks or earning potential). He then proceeded to tell me that those women didn’t work out because they weren’t me.
In July 2018, he started going silent and disappearing on every other weekend. I suspect other women again. However I was more angry that I was sitting at home while he was spending time with other women, then i was about actual cheating. I called him and told him that I loved him and valued him but didn’t feel that he showed the same to me, and I was going to leave our relationship. I did tell him I didn’t understand how he could have spent all that time with those other women, when he made such little time for me because he “didn’t want a relationship “. They at least got dates and to stay a week in his space!! His response to me was “ the difference is when I ‘entertained’ those ladies, there was no long term potential”. I don’t even know what means! How can bringing someone over from Ireland not imply long term potential? How can considering to pursue someone based on their age, bank account and child status not imply long term? And why the heck keep coming back to me, yet telling me that you don’t want LTR? Obviously he’s done some distancing cycles to me, but I don’t understand that comment. I am trying to move on but it eats at me that I cannot understand what his thinking was .
Thanks for insight and your time .
