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Post by alpenglow on Aug 31, 2018 17:34:27 GMT
Terrible to hear  But that inner child work has helped tremendously is very positive! Did you do that on your own or with a therapist? Do you see cPTSD and insecure attachment as two different things? |
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2018 17:41:56 GMT
Terrible to hear But that inner child work has helped tremendously is very positive! Did you do that on your own or with a therapist? Do you see cPTSD and insecure attachment as two different things? i never learned about cPTSD because i was very dissociated from violent trauma when i received that dx. i don't know if it was accurate or not, i never looked into it. i could not understand what it all meant, i was very shut down. it was just shortly after that that law enforcement became involved to assist me with a crime against me and they encouraged me to get support. i would not have otherwise. but i didn't make it far in that because i was just shut down. i couldn't understand and didn't have many feelings i could identify. i have only known about attachment theory less than two years. i became able to work through and understand that only because i got truly attached to my partner (first for me). that happened because i worked a couple decades on emotional availability, through various pathways with different areas of focus at different times. the inner child work has been profound. i did some on my own with self help, some with a therapist. on and off for many years. the pain it released was wrenching, but it was the start of true compassion for myself. |
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Post by alpenglow on Aug 31, 2018 17:54:47 GMT
I understand. It seems like treatment is particularly efficient with people such as you: violent trauma, high level of dissociation (being shut down) etc.
I suppose it helped you greatly?
Inspiring history and background you have! I never managed to find any therapist who could do inner child work with me. One day, I hope!
True self-compassion is indeed what we need the most.
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Post by lilyg on Aug 31, 2018 17:58:53 GMT
I just want to thank you all for this posts. Helps me understand a lot of things 😊
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2018 18:07:29 GMT
I understand. It seems like treatment is particularly efficient with people such as you: violent trauma, high level of dissociation (being shut down) etc. I suppose it helped you greatly? Inspiring history and background you have! I never managed to find any therapist who could do inner child work with me. One day, I hope! True self-compassion is indeed what we need the most. it has changed my life!! i am so thankful. i never forget where i come from but it doesn't haunt me and i feel free. the best work i did with inner child stuff is on my own, in my bath, actually. i would be in the dark and just allow myself to feel. like little Juniper felt. alone, in the dark. it opened up so ucb pain. but, i cried and cried and let it all come out, over and over again. i never knew i had all that inside me until little juniper couldn't hold it in anymore. i had her back  I like a book called Reconciliation Healing the Inner Child by Thich Nhat Hanh. |
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Post by alpenglow on Aug 31, 2018 18:13:44 GMT
I can imagine that in your case, you had many inaccessible traumatic memories that you might have repressed, hence your surprise when you discovered that you had all that inside you. Am I wrong?
Thanks for the recommendation! I used books written by Susan Anderson.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2018 18:23:25 GMT
I can imagine that in your case, you had many inaccessible traumatic memories that you might have repressed, hence your surprise when you discovered that you had all that inside you. Am I wrong? Thanks for the recommendation! I used books written by Susan Anderson. actually, it's a little different. the professionals who worked with me all said that the severity of my mother's cruelty (which was psychological not physical) coupled with my father's absence created a more traumatic experience for me than they typically encounter. I had many memories, they weren't suppressed. The emotions i felt in response to them, were suppressed. What i endured had been normalized to me, and my reaction to it was pathologized (peojection) by my mother. i eventually became numb. later, after enough therapy, i understood that what had happened all my life was very very far from normal. anyone i shared it with was shocked, and after enough times of getting that reaction i snapped and developed the same shock. all the feelings flooded in. that's what little juniper needed help with. realizing, that many children do experience love, and safety, and don't experience what i did. that any girl would be crushed by what it was like for me. that it hurt, just like i thought it did back then before i shut it out. that moms who love cannot do that to their daughters. i had to break down and go through a grieving process that my mother was not capable of loving me like i loved my own daughters. having my own children and experiencing love and protection for them provided such a sharp contrast to what i had experienced, that reality hit me between the eyes and knocked me down for a bit. |
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