Post by happyidiot on Sept 3, 2018 5:15:31 GMT
I wasn't sure which sub-forum to put this in, forgive me if it should be in general. Which attachment style(s) do you associate each of these behaviors or thoughts with? Do you relate to any of them yourself and what is your usual attachment style (please list the numbers if you can)? Are there other behaviors you'd like to add? Or do you perhaps think any of these could be associated with all of the insecure attachment styles?
1. choosing objectively unavailable partners (someone who lives in another country, someone who is in a relationship, someone who says they aren't looking for a relationship, etc)
2. rejecting available people
3. feeling suspicious if someone likes you too much too fast
4. not putting yourself in situations where you meet new people
5. burning bridges (for example after breaking up with someone behaving in a way that firmly shuts the door)
6. idealizing your current partner
7. idealizing an ex and comparing all new potential partners to them
8. jumping into bed quickly with someone while thinking you chose them because you won't likely develop feelings for them (or can't be with them if you do) so what does it matter if it's early
9. going long periods of time without wanting to have sex with anyone
10. going long periods of time without wanting to date anyone
11. filling your life with activities/plans to prevent yourself from spending "too much" time with your partner when you really want to
12. filling your life with activities/plans to prevent yourself from asking your partner to spend more time with you, since you fear rejection, or to distract yourself from the urge to contact them frequently etc
13. traveling a lot
14. pretending you didn't see a text (for example if it's in an app that shows read receipts, covertly reading it through the notification center) because you don't want the other person to know you read it immediately
15. purposely taking a long time to reply to texts
16. accidentally taking a long time to reply to texts
17. feeling like you have to look perfect and be in a great mood to go on a date so not wanting to go on quick spontaneous dates on short notice
18. not wanting to be the pursuer but sometimes doing it anyway if the other person isn't pursuing you as much as you'd like
19. feeling like how you view your partner fluctuates a lot
20. people looking very different to you at different times
21. believing the ideal partner for you doesn't exist
22. being afraid to tell your partner your feelings
23. saying there are no good/interesting and available men/women out there
24. being addicted to social media (especially to viewing it much more than you post)
25. feeling uncomfortable with a new partner if you aren't drinking alcohol
26. having days where you feel overwhelmed and don't want to reply to anyone's texts or calls
27. communicating very indirectly like through songs or social media posts
1. choosing objectively unavailable partners (someone who lives in another country, someone who is in a relationship, someone who says they aren't looking for a relationship, etc)
2. rejecting available people
3. feeling suspicious if someone likes you too much too fast
4. not putting yourself in situations where you meet new people
5. burning bridges (for example after breaking up with someone behaving in a way that firmly shuts the door)
6. idealizing your current partner
7. idealizing an ex and comparing all new potential partners to them
8. jumping into bed quickly with someone while thinking you chose them because you won't likely develop feelings for them (or can't be with them if you do) so what does it matter if it's early
9. going long periods of time without wanting to have sex with anyone
10. going long periods of time without wanting to date anyone
11. filling your life with activities/plans to prevent yourself from spending "too much" time with your partner when you really want to
12. filling your life with activities/plans to prevent yourself from asking your partner to spend more time with you, since you fear rejection, or to distract yourself from the urge to contact them frequently etc
13. traveling a lot
14. pretending you didn't see a text (for example if it's in an app that shows read receipts, covertly reading it through the notification center) because you don't want the other person to know you read it immediately
15. purposely taking a long time to reply to texts
16. accidentally taking a long time to reply to texts
17. feeling like you have to look perfect and be in a great mood to go on a date so not wanting to go on quick spontaneous dates on short notice
18. not wanting to be the pursuer but sometimes doing it anyway if the other person isn't pursuing you as much as you'd like
19. feeling like how you view your partner fluctuates a lot
20. people looking very different to you at different times
21. believing the ideal partner for you doesn't exist
22. being afraid to tell your partner your feelings
23. saying there are no good/interesting and available men/women out there
24. being addicted to social media (especially to viewing it much more than you post)
25. feeling uncomfortable with a new partner if you aren't drinking alcohol
26. having days where you feel overwhelmed and don't want to reply to anyone's texts or calls
27. communicating very indirectly like through songs or social media posts
