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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2018 17:55:28 GMT
I tend to blame abusers for abuse actually. And a person can be Dismissive Avoidant AND pathological. it's been well elaborated on here, by very well spoken posters. The simple version is, as a woman who has endured a ton of grave abuse from pathological partners, i have never once encountered victim's advocacy that didn't advocate for the victim exploring and transforming their own psychology. This board is a great place to do that, but it's not a great place to deny one's own responsibility for any dynamic they were in. Even those who have been perpetrated on by the worst abusers entered a voluntary adult relationship with blind spots where they need to develop better vision. i think it's obvious what kind of support you can expect if you choose to take the route of healing your own issues, the support is generous and well informed. on the other hand, the posts you led with seem likely to inspire responses that aren't quite what you're looking for. I understand what your saying juniper, but we don't know the age of this young lady. Like me,you are older and wiser, but i lived with my alcoholic husband for many years before I reached out to get help for myself. Between normalising the abnormal and truly loving the sober side of that precious man it continued for many years untreated. Let's be gentle now hey. God bless you as I know your always trying to make people aware and accountable for there side of the street, and hopefully with new awareness might save them from years off unnecessary pain, but sometimes all we are capable off is unloading the pain were in....for now anyway. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2018 17:58:18 GMT
She wasn't anything like he described. Not in looks. Not in personality. He'd also claimed they had this beautiful and perfect whirlwind romance. Her version of events is that he's a psychopathic stalker who physically attacked her on at least one occasion. But the DA spent literally hours talking about how perfect this woman was and how wonderful their relationship was, to the point where I felt I was actually IN a relationship with the Phantom Ex. What the .......? You have suffered a lot of abuse. How are you today. Sending a big hug X |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2018 18:43:50 GMT
we all just have a different take, many different kinds of input, there's room for all of it.
now, if a person needs intensive support i'm sure that a private therapist or closed forum would be beneficial.
i'm not unsympathetic to being abused but the venue is an open forum, where there will be a mix of input.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2018 19:08:20 GMT
we all just have a different take, many different kinds of input, there's room for all of it. now, if a person needs intensive support i'm sure that a private therapist or closed forum would be beneficial. i'm not unsympathetic to being abused but the venue is an open forum, where there will be a mix of input. And that is the wonderful thing about this forum. I try to support and help my daughter where i see history repeating itself but she is just not there yet...what I'm really saying she hadn't suffered enough pain 😥😥😥 and that truly breaks my heart but I get it. We fucked up as parents, like my parents fuck up And so on and on |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2018 20:41:36 GMT
we all just have a different take, many different kinds of input, there's room for all of it. now, if a person needs intensive support i'm sure that a private therapist or closed forum would be beneficial. i'm not unsympathetic to being abused but the venue is an open forum, where there will be a mix of input. And that is the wonderful thing about this forum. I try to support and help my daughter where i see history repeating itself but she is just not there yet...what I'm really saying she hadn't suffered enough pain 😥😥😥 and that truly breaks my heart but I get it. We fucked up as parents, like my parents fuck up And so on and on but the whole process of our lives is to uncover and take care of the things that hold us back or harm us, and as long as we are alive there is hope. Each person has their own journey, and we can't necessarily know what is the best direction for it to take, the best source for them to draw from. we only have a limited view. We can give our input from our own experiences but ultimately, a person's path is their own, and if they are ready, the teacher will appear. 🌸 |
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