Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2018 20:02:48 GMT
this is so DA, i feel for him. the struggle is so real, and he means it. he doesn't know how. i wonder, since you are so compassionate and able to interact without control or a real agenda here, if you would share some information with him on healing dismissive attachment. like anne's threads. i am not typically a big advocate of that if i think it's for selfish purposes. but this is just me empathizing with him. I have talked to him about attachment theory once before. I don’t know if he searched more information about it. I was actually thinking about suggesting to him some literature about healing DA attachment style but right now he said he needs space but I will tell him about this when or if he wants to interact again. I also have much sympathy for his pain and I want him to heal not because than we could maybe be together but because I want him to be happy and in peace with himself. yes i like the approach of "not for us" but "for you". someone this unaware and dismissive is likely not ready to move forward but the information can be helpful down the line should he become ready. many of us, i find, come to readiness a little later in life. maybe that's just my limited experience, i have introduced attachment theory to several people close to me in the last two years, in the late 40's and early 50's age range, and it's been well received and appreciated. |
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Post by stayhappy on Sept 26, 2018 5:15:39 GMT
juniper I have send to him some links about attachment style and healing some days ago. He thanked me but he have not said anything else about it. We are going to meet today so I may ask what he thinks about it.
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Post by stayhappy on Sept 29, 2018 7:48:05 GMT
We didn’t had time to talk about attachment style but we talked a lot. I don’t know but maybe him knowing that we don’t have so long time together anymore made him feel more brave to open up. For a long time ago I remember sending him a long message asking a lot of questions about life, fears, dreams etc. Of course he didn’t feel like answering and I respected his decision but I was still curious because I wanna know who he really was. A lot of things about him I had to interpretet but I would never be sure if my interpretations were correct.
So I came to his place, he carried me to his bed and I got all the answers I asked for in my long message some months ago!
The next when I come home I couldn’t hold my tears. It was not sad tears but not happy either. I got emotional thinking about him and how I admire his courage and him as a person. Sad that the time is passing so fast, I wanted to connect with him even more. Can someone please slow down the time? 😉
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liz
Junior Member
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Post by liz on Sept 30, 2018 16:46:15 GMT
This is such an interesting thread. I hope that you will live up to your name, stayhappy. You're such a grounded, understanding person with a great attitude. I'm sorry that he couldn't step up, no doubt he has his internal struggles. I hope that in your new life, you will encounter the right man who will meet your needs for intimacy and attachment.
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The talk
Sept 30, 2018 20:45:54 GMT
via mobile
Post by stayhappy on Sept 30, 2018 20:45:54 GMT
This is such an interesting thread. I hope that you will live up to your name, stayhappy. You're such a grounded, understanding person with a great attitude. I'm sorry that he couldn't step up, no doubt he has his internal struggles. I hope that in your new life, you will encounter the right man who will meet your needs for intimacy and attachment. Thank you Liz! Yes for me it’s important to keep hope and believe that everything is going to be just fine, in one way or the other but fine! I learned a lot on this thread or even better on this forum! He is a good guy, it’s sad that we aren’t in the same place in life right now but we had a great time together and we still have some time to enjoy! |
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