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Post by goldilocks on Sept 26, 2018 20:17:21 GMT
Today I showed interest in the guy I like, and he replied that he enjoys spending time with me but is not looking for more.
It took so much courage for me to take this step, and he had been flirting with me for over a year, and then this is it.
It really sucks.
That said, I feel a healthy sadness. I did not deactivate badly. Just don't want to see him for a bit and I feel a bit bruised and dissapointed.
I did not let negative thoughts of him take over and paint him into a bad person. He is just a friend who liked to flirt with me and enjoys my company who happens not to be the one for me.
He seemed to be on the FA side and that may have contributed to a bunch of tension being there for a while with neither of us doing anything truly effective. That said, I am happy to have had the courage to be clear even if it did not have the result I wanted. I have learned a lot and opened up a lot and I'll be damned if I close my heart over a bit of disappointment. So I just sit with the feeling and know that one day I hopefully feel nothing but gratitude when I can take these skills into an interaction with someone better suited.
But in this moment I feel sore hearted :-(
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Post by ocarina on Sept 26, 2018 21:44:35 GMT
Today I showed interest in the guy I like, and he replied that he enjoys spending time with me but is not looking for more. It took so much courage for me to take this step, and he had been flirting with me for over a year, and then this is it. It really sucks. That said, I feel a healthy sadness. I did not deactivate badly. Just don't want to see him for a bit and I feel a bit bruised and dissapointed. I did not let negative thoughts of him take over and paint him into a bad person. He is just a friend who liked to flirt with me and enjoys my company who happens not to be the one for me. He seemed to be on the FA side and that may have contributed to a bunch of tension being there for a while with neither of us doing anything truly effective. That said, I am happy to have had the courage to be clear even if it did not have the result I wanted. I have learned a lot and opened up a lot and I'll be damned if I close my heart over a bit of disappointment. So I just sit with the feeling and know that one day I hopefully feel nothing but gratitude when I can take these skills into an interaction with someone better suited. But in this moment I feel sore hearted :-( Ouch - for those of us who find it really hard to actually open up and begin to feel anything - being knocked back is so very difficult. Take heart in the fact that you were courageous enough to feel and then to express what you felt - it takes real guts and now it will take yet more to stay with your healthy sadness and to allow, in time, yourself to open up to someone else. Good on you for your bravery and be kind to your sore heart. |
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Post by goldilocks on Sept 26, 2018 22:31:55 GMT
Thank you, Ocarina!
Your post is supportive.
It is what it is.
He fell in love with the girl who ran from him, and is not interested in a something solid with the girl who stands her ground.
Sad but true.
I have no need for a guy being wishy washy with me.
But I do love my open heart and cherish it even if it brings me sadness today.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2018 23:17:32 GMT
goldilocks, I am so sorry you are sad today. I know what it takes to make the step to express interest! I'm glad you are dealing with it in a healthy way, and that is an accomplishment as well. Hugs hugs and more hugs. Onward with the journey!
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Post by goldilocks on Sept 26, 2018 23:34:42 GMT
goldilocks , I am so sorry you are sad today. I know what it takes to make the step to express interest! I'm glad you are dealing with it in a healthy way, and that is an accomplishment as well. Hugs hugs and more hugs. Onward with the journey! Thank you for the hugs! They make me feel happy. I am sad, but this is a good sadness. My heart broke a little but it did not freeze again. This is key. I am not suppressing my feelings with nasty narratives but expressing my feelings in dance :-) Dancing my sadness, sitting with my sadness and being kind to myself. |
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Post by leavethelighton on Sept 26, 2018 23:41:33 GMT
You were brave, and you have great perspective. Still, want to send you good wishes from afar, I am glad you are working to take care of yourself. Go you!!
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Post by goldilocks on Sept 26, 2018 23:47:41 GMT
Thank you for the support compassionate ! I will do a good bit of self care, even dedicate the weekend to this. Sadness is part of live, and I am lucky to have the heart to feel it. |
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Post by goldilocks on Sept 27, 2018 6:52:23 GMT
Still feeling sad.
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Post by happyidiot on Sept 27, 2018 7:02:31 GMT
That's totally reasonable. It's ok to be sad. You are handling this really well. You aren't alone. |
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Post by cris88 on Sept 27, 2018 7:23:51 GMT
Today I showed interest in the guy I like, and he replied that he enjoys spending time with me but is not looking for more. It took so much courage for me to take this step, and he had been flirting with me for over a year, and then this is it. It really sucks. That said, I feel a healthy sadness. I did not deactivate badly. Just don't want to see him for a bit and I feel a bit bruised and dissapointed. I did not let negative thoughts of him take over and paint him into a bad person. He is just a friend who liked to flirt with me and enjoys my company who happens not to be the one for me. He seemed to be on the FA side and that may have contributed to a bunch of tension being there for a while with neither of us doing anything truly effective. That said, I am happy to have had the courage to be clear even if it did not have the result I wanted. I have learned a lot and opened up a lot and I'll be damned if I close my heart over a bit of disappointment. So I just sit with the feeling and know that one day I hopefully feel nothing but gratitude when I can take these skills into an interaction with someone better suited. But in this moment I feel sore hearted :-( I'm really sorry it went like this, it takes courage but at least you didn't keep wondering and keep falling for him thinking something may happen in the future so I applaud you. I am a coward and would never be able to approach someone and let them know how I feel. Who knows how many opportunities have been missed. I know you're sad, it takes a lot not to be but you'll heal soon. As you say, sit with your sadness, understand what's triggering in that sadness and keep being so brave. It takes someone special to do it and you're one. |
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Post by goldilocks on Sept 27, 2018 17:01:57 GMT
I'm really sorry it went like this, it takes courage but at least you didn't keep wondering and keep falling for him thinking something may happen in the future so I applaud you. I am a coward and would never be able to approach someone and let them know how I feel. Who knows how many opportunities have been missed. I know you're sad, it takes a lot not to be but you'll heal soon. As you say, sit with your sadness, understand what's triggering in that sadness and keep being so brave. It takes someone special to do it and you're one. Thank you! That is good to hear :-) I will heal. I will keep my heart open. I will be brave when needed. It just hurts to be me today, or the coming weekend. But this is life. Is has not only the sweet, but also the salty and the bitter. :-( |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2018 20:39:33 GMT
ah, my friend. let the sadness be simple, as you are doing. there is one one way through it, and that's through it, so try to be still and let it be, let it catch you, let it cry. do not be busy, do not rush the remedy. sadness has precious things to tell us, you know it's true. I see ourselves, as sovereign nations, populated by our feelings, thoughts, values, our experiences, perceptions, talents, aspirations, all of our facets. When we are authentic, and vulnerable, we are good ambassadors of our hearts, of our entire Nation, the whole of who we are! We represent ourselves with our genuine expression, and there is nothing to lose in doing that, only everything to gain, because we speak the truth of who we are, we give others the precious opportunity to meet us there. ! It's a skill we have cultivated and will continue to. We need others, we want others, we are available to others now. The opening is happening, and the way will become more clear. it's really all a miracle, considering.  I know you aren't lost, you're just sad, disappointed. this too shall pass, and the gift of it has already begun to show itself to you, more will come. Good job , i am very proud of you, and thankful for you! Better days are coming, this is a season that will change and you will begin anew. |
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Post by goldilocks on Sept 27, 2018 21:27:39 GMT
ah, my friend. let the sadness be simple, as you are doing. there is one one way through it, and that's through it, so try to be still and let it be, let it catch you, let it cry. do not be busy, do not rush the remedy. sadness has precious things to tell us, you know it's true. I do and will continue to do so over the weekend. The wisdom is buried in the tears, and the tears thaw what was frozen. The proces is painful but useful. I see ourselves, as sovereign nations, populated by our feelings, thoughts, values, our experiences, perceptions, talents, aspirations, all of our facets. When we are authentic, and vulnerable, we are good ambassadors of our hearts, of our entire Nation, the whole of who we are! We represent ourselves with our genuine expression, and there is nothing to lose in doing that, only everything to gain, because we speak the truth of who we are, we give others the precious opportunity to meet us there. ! It's a skill we have cultivated and will continue to. We need others, we want others, we are available to others now. The opening is happening, and the way will become more clear. it's really all a miracle, considering. Beautifully spoken! I like the opening :-) I know you aren't lost, you're just sad, disappointed. this too shall pass, and the gift of it has already begun to show itself to you, more will come. Good job , i am very proud of you, and thankful for you! Better days are coming, this is a season that will change and you will begin anew. Yes, you are right. I am happy in my sadness. Grateful for the opportunity to feel it with all my heart. |
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Post by lilyg on Sept 27, 2018 22:53:35 GMT
ah, my friend. let the sadness be simple, as you are doing. there is one one way through it, and that's through it, so try to be still and let it be, let it catch you, let it cry. do not be busy, do not rush the remedy. sadness has precious things to tell us, you know it's true. I see ourselves, as sovereign nations, populated by our feelings, thoughts, values, our experiences, perceptions, talents, aspirations, all of our facets. When we are authentic, and vulnerable, we are good ambassadors of our hearts, of our entire Nation, the whole of who we are! We represent ourselves with our genuine expression, and there is nothing to lose in doing that, only everything to gain, because we speak the truth of who we are, we give others the precious opportunity to meet us there. ! It's a skill we have cultivated and will continue to. We need others, we want others, we are available to others now. The opening is happening, and the way will become more clear. it's really all a miracle, considering. I know you aren't lost, you're just sad, disappointed. this too shall pass, and the gift of it has already begun to show itself to you, more will come. Good job , i am very proud of you, and thankful for you! Better days are coming, this is a season that will change and you will begin anew. This is all. It's amazing and you're so, so right. |
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Post by goldilocks on Sept 28, 2018 3:21:10 GMT
I still feel kind of sad, but stress has dropped from me after a good cry and a good sleep.
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