Post by hachristensen79 on Oct 1, 2018 4:36:35 GMT
This is my first post here and usually dont like airing my dirty laundry out in a forum, but I am very impressed with the feedback on these threads and font it very helpful.
My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for almost 3 months. We were together for 14 months. He was very hesitant to call me his girlfriend for around 5 months of our relationship but we spent every weekend and as much time together as we could. He introduced his child rearing to me after around 3 weeks and I had met his friends about a month after we started dating. He was very open about how he cared for me. When he would drink and was oblivious, I would get drunk truths from him stating I was going to move on with some corporate guy, or he doesn’t deserve me, or I am going to be the girl that got away because he isn’t going to be able to give me what I need. It is obvious he has some insecurities, but he comes off very secure with who he is.... with the exception of these drunk truths. He is a good man with a huge heart but apparently has always had an issue with “commitment”. He would reassure me he is committed to me and I believe that. I was going through a lot of stress with my older kids and a new job. During that time, I became more clingy and needy. He started pulling away which triggered me. We started arguing more and I finally asked him where he saw our relationship going. He thought I wanted marriage which was not the case. He freaked out and cussed at me which prompted me to get my stuff from his house and tell him I will not be disrespected like that and broke it off. Three days later I regretted it and wanted to talk. He refused. Fast forward two months and we had a trip planned to Maui. He ended up taking his kids and I took a friend. He stayed somewhere else. Five days prior, he started blowing my phone up flirting and wanting to know how I was. I kept him at arms length. Prior to that we would chat a little every two weeks. Short texts. The day we were flying out he was really lighting my phone up flirting until he realized the friend I was taking was anothe female. He then stopped with the flirting but kept texting wanting to hang out while we were in Maui. I did end up seeing him with his family and my friend. He was distant and quiet. I felt like he was giving me false hope with the incredible flirty and “beach sex” comments he was making. My friend ended up calling him after she had a few drinks and basically asked him if he wanted a relationship with me because that is how he was making it seem. He said no... he was only
Trying to be friendly. This frustrated me and I told him I couldn’t be his friend until he was honest with himself and me. Since then, I text him twice in which he responds right away but he is careful about how he responds.
I love this man. He has a great heart. He would give the shirt off of his back for anyone but is very selfish when it comes to his emotions. I tend to be very passive and not direct which used to frustrate him. I would like to approach reconciliation but feel I kind of blew it in Maui or actually my friend did. I wonder what would have happened had she not called him.
He comes from a family that basically neglected him. I believe he had to fight for attention from his much older sister and used to get into trouble a lot in school. His dad physically abused him. He was taught to stuff his feelings and be tough. I have seen probably the softest side of him and his friends also say they saw huge improvements in him.
What is the best way to approach this? Write a letter explaining I was not looking for a proposal when I asked where our relationship is going that I was only looking for reassurance due to him pulling away. Be direct about me wanting to reconcile. Stay away from massive emotion? Any advice is definitely needed.
My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for almost 3 months. We were together for 14 months. He was very hesitant to call me his girlfriend for around 5 months of our relationship but we spent every weekend and as much time together as we could. He introduced his child rearing to me after around 3 weeks and I had met his friends about a month after we started dating. He was very open about how he cared for me. When he would drink and was oblivious, I would get drunk truths from him stating I was going to move on with some corporate guy, or he doesn’t deserve me, or I am going to be the girl that got away because he isn’t going to be able to give me what I need. It is obvious he has some insecurities, but he comes off very secure with who he is.... with the exception of these drunk truths. He is a good man with a huge heart but apparently has always had an issue with “commitment”. He would reassure me he is committed to me and I believe that. I was going through a lot of stress with my older kids and a new job. During that time, I became more clingy and needy. He started pulling away which triggered me. We started arguing more and I finally asked him where he saw our relationship going. He thought I wanted marriage which was not the case. He freaked out and cussed at me which prompted me to get my stuff from his house and tell him I will not be disrespected like that and broke it off. Three days later I regretted it and wanted to talk. He refused. Fast forward two months and we had a trip planned to Maui. He ended up taking his kids and I took a friend. He stayed somewhere else. Five days prior, he started blowing my phone up flirting and wanting to know how I was. I kept him at arms length. Prior to that we would chat a little every two weeks. Short texts. The day we were flying out he was really lighting my phone up flirting until he realized the friend I was taking was anothe female. He then stopped with the flirting but kept texting wanting to hang out while we were in Maui. I did end up seeing him with his family and my friend. He was distant and quiet. I felt like he was giving me false hope with the incredible flirty and “beach sex” comments he was making. My friend ended up calling him after she had a few drinks and basically asked him if he wanted a relationship with me because that is how he was making it seem. He said no... he was only
Trying to be friendly. This frustrated me and I told him I couldn’t be his friend until he was honest with himself and me. Since then, I text him twice in which he responds right away but he is careful about how he responds.
I love this man. He has a great heart. He would give the shirt off of his back for anyone but is very selfish when it comes to his emotions. I tend to be very passive and not direct which used to frustrate him. I would like to approach reconciliation but feel I kind of blew it in Maui or actually my friend did. I wonder what would have happened had she not called him.
He comes from a family that basically neglected him. I believe he had to fight for attention from his much older sister and used to get into trouble a lot in school. His dad physically abused him. He was taught to stuff his feelings and be tough. I have seen probably the softest side of him and his friends also say they saw huge improvements in him.
What is the best way to approach this? Write a letter explaining I was not looking for a proposal when I asked where our relationship is going that I was only looking for reassurance due to him pulling away. Be direct about me wanting to reconcile. Stay away from massive emotion? Any advice is definitely needed.
