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Post by faithopelove on Oct 13, 2018 20:20:30 GMT
This is just... musings of my own after reading this thread, and maybe it'll strike a chord for some readers. There is often a narrative of APs that this person can do so much better, he/she can live a much more fulfilling life if only he/she can see how being avoidant keeps them in their own shell. This is definitely what I think of my DA, because when we do connect, he is such an amazing soul that it's such a pity he isn't doing more of it! Also, he/she is so strong and capable, that he/she should not be wary of risk and vulnerability in the way he/she is used to anymore. I often think that my DA is so amazing and strong, I cannot see why he has so much fear. he has so much fear that he is also afraid of just being with me, even though he wants to. he just has to let go of that fear. that is why APs continue to insist and protest when the DAs draw into themselves. I still think the same of him, i still want him to be better, but the fact is, love is not enough. me loving him as hard as i possibly can is not enough, because he does not trust himself to be vulnerable in that. I think more importantly, for APs, DAs do not feel safe because that love we have is not deep, stable and strong. it is excitable, passionate, and intense, all of which are also insecurity inducing for APs and DAs both. it is deep in the sense that we feel it in our soul, but that love hasn't expanded to fill our bodies and our presence. The cold, withdrawn, absent person IS also our DA, and if we don't love that part of him/her, then it's also a sort of rejection of who they are. this is how i'm starting to see our relationship. Hey Anxious...I think you are speaking to a person's "potential"...and yes, I think it is a bit hard wired in some people to look for the good and cheer another person on. That in of itself is not the issue...the issue is when that potential is how we want the other person to see him/herself....and in a sense...it is actually not accepting the person for who he/she is..especially if he/she does not share in that vision. I know it seems very altruistic.....who would not want to see him/herself from that loving and freeing perspective right? But we are humans and we each have a right to be our own autonomous person who sees the world and ourselves through our own lens. Believe me...I told B all the time that I thought he was pretty awesome and instead of it being received the way I wanted it to be received..which was for him to be thankful that finally someone saw him for who he truly was under all that fear and self hatred...it actually made him feel worse and made him feel uncomfortable. I did not understand it for a long time...but it dawned on me that I wasn't allowing him the space to see himself the way he did and for me to just sit with him and allow him to find how awesome he was on his own. Put another way..my invitation to see himself from my perspective was treated as an obligation and made him feel worse. I have come to the conclusion that my desire to encourage and see the good in another person is a gift I must use carefully. I must be willing to accept that another person may not view my encouragement the way I do and I have to be willing to meet him/her where he/she is and allow him/her the gift of seeing himself or herself the way he/she does and not judge it, argue with it or try to change his her mind with more encoragement. Tying it back...can you allow your ex to be who he is and allow him to just be where he is at and instead of feeling pity for him or trying to rescue him/encourage him...can you just sit with him and let him be who he is? Let him be depressed and simply talk to his pain or not...but let him just be him where he is today. I don't know about your story Anxious...but when I was much younger...my parents divorced and I felt compelled to "rescue" my parents because of the anger and sadness I felt from them...I internalized it and made it my responsibility to fix....which is why even now, the desire to share the good I see in someone else is very strong...I wonder if you have something similiar in your childhood. Sending hugs. trn9 - great insight about letting the other person “be” instead of cheering them on. I never thought that my encouragement could be viewed as unwelcome or even a rejection of who they are...it’s hard to navigate. That’s why I often feel I walk on egg shells and don’t know the best thing to say. I try to now let him bring up any topics about us and our dynamic but even then I don’t know how to respond. When he says- “I’m not perfect” or “I have a hard time trusting” - I don’t know how to respond. Communication feels like a mine field, which is probably why he defaults to physical. It’s safe. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2018 20:33:45 GMT
also, it's important to note that the AP dynamic triggers deactivation in an avoidant because of engulfment.
an avoidant partner is likely to avoid an AP partner much more than they would anyone else.
so, the perspective of the AP is that the avoidant really needs rescuing to come out of their shell, when what would be most helpful is a change in DYNAMIC, to a less toxic pairing.
yes it takes individual work , but i have had the most growth and intimacy with a non-anxious partner.
i was most avoidant with engulfing partners.
i am not nearly as distant and emotionally unavailable with other types.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2018 20:36:28 GMT
I’ve been looking within since the break with my partner- determined to figure out how two people who love each so much can lose the same relationship they treasure. That’s what led to my research on attachment style and found we were classic cases of anxious/avoidant. As I’ve progressed in my own self-love, I don’t see myself as trying to control him or gain something from him that I’m lacking. I feel fulfilled from within and it’s only near him that I do get occasionally triggered. Apart from him I’m not experiencing anxiety or triggers. That is major progress for me. I desire him to be different bc I see how tortured he is- he’s deeply depressed and hopeless where before he was hopeful and happy. I know he longs for love and connection. He has told me, so I want that for him. He just feels incapable. In moments he triggers me bc I feel fake at times and at a loss relating to him on only a superficial level when my heart wants more- but more often than not, I meet him where he is and accept he’s feeling stuck, fearful and unable to give more. I think most self-aware AP’s working to secure have honorable intentions toward their partner and want their partners to feel comfortable, confident and happy on all levels. I doubt a secure would stay the course with a DA long-term bc in doing so, they would have to sacrifice so much of their needs. I’m not perfect. I love S imperfectly but selflessly. I have needs but they’re reasonable needs- at a reasonable human level to connect physically, mentally and emotionally. I don’t need S to rescue me. I would be happy for him if he could be content and at peace either by himself or with a different partner, but he’s much worse off since our break. He admits to that. but you say he has initiated three times in nine months. and he sees you for an hour. he is distant and cold. and you feel you might just be enabling him to be casual (you are, in my dismissive perspective. what you describe is a dismissive who doesn't want a relationship. you also describe a seriously depressed person: but you seem to think there is potential here. i do not know why: as a dismissive i cannot fathom being involved like this with any intention to ever be in a relationship. you say that you might just get mad and walk away and never look back (that's selfless love? no. that's love with an agenda. my view is; you're clinging. you're in denial, and a fantasy. he's depressed, idk what else is going on. but i wish you the best . i can't engage further on this because the dynamic you describe doesn't even have a hint of health in it to me but that's just my perspective and we have to agree to disagree. 🌸 |
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Post by tnr9 on Oct 13, 2018 22:24:01 GMT
Hey Anxious...I think you are speaking to a person's "potential"...and yes, I think it is a bit hard wired in some people to look for the good and cheer another person on. That in of itself is not the issue...the issue is when that potential is how we want the other person to see him/herself....and in a sense...it is actually not accepting the person for who he/she is..especially if he/she does not share in that vision. I know it seems very altruistic.....who would not want to see him/herself from that loving and freeing perspective right? But we are humans and we each have a right to be our own autonomous person who sees the world and ourselves through our own lens. Believe me...I told B all the time that I thought he was pretty awesome and instead of it being received the way I wanted it to be received..which was for him to be thankful that finally someone saw him for who he truly was under all that fear and self hatred...it actually made him feel worse and made him feel uncomfortable. I did not understand it for a long time...but it dawned on me that I wasn't allowing him the space to see himself the way he did and for me to just sit with him and allow him to find how awesome he was on his own. Put another way..my invitation to see himself from my perspective was treated as an obligation and made him feel worse. I have come to the conclusion that my desire to encourage and see the good in another person is a gift I must use carefully. I must be willing to accept that another person may not view my encouragement the way I do and I have to be willing to meet him/her where he/she is and allow him/her the gift of seeing himself or herself the way he/she does and not judge it, argue with it or try to change his her mind with more encoragement. Tying it back...can you allow your ex to be who he is and allow him to just be where he is at and instead of feeling pity for him or trying to rescue him/encourage him...can you just sit with him and let him be who he is? Let him be depressed and simply talk to his pain or not...but let him just be him where he is today. I don't know about your story Anxious...but when I was much younger...my parents divorced and I felt compelled to "rescue" my parents because of the anger and sadness I felt from them...I internalized it and made it my responsibility to fix....which is why even now, the desire to share the good I see in someone else is very strong...I wonder if you have something similiar in your childhood. Sending hugs. trn9 - great insight about letting the other person “be” instead of cheering them on. I never thought that my encouragement could be viewed as unwelcome or even a rejection of who they are...it’s hard to navigate. That’s why I often feel I walk on egg shells and don’t know the best thing to say. I try to now let him bring up any topics about us and our dynamic but even then I don’t know how to respond. When he says- “I’m not perfect” or “I have a hard time trusting” - I don’t know how to respond. Communication feels like a mine field, which is probably why he defaults to physical. It’s safe. It took such a long time for the light bulb to turn on...for me to be able to see that what I was doing was secretly also about me...because I thought if I could just show him how amazing he is and that I truly saw such awesomeness in him that he would be thankful. I never once considered that there it would put pressure on him...that my words would make him feel worse. Honestly...S has to do the work...you have to determine if you are ok with the status quo and if not..then perhaps it is time to walk away. I don't see B because I know how I am around him and I am making a choice to put my healing first...my happiness first. I realized something else about my view of B, I was not treating him like an adult who had a whole life before me and would have a full life after me..it was so important to me to feel needed and important that I viewed him as a lost little boy at times. I regret that immensely. It meant I wasn't treated him as an equal...or validating his autonomy or respecting his hobbies. So I am focused on myself....because that is the limit to my influence of change...just me. I am sending hugs. |
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Post by faithopelove on Oct 13, 2018 22:46:35 GMT
I’ve been looking within since the break with my partner- determined to figure out how two people who love each so much can lose the same relationship they treasure. That’s what led to my research on attachment style and found we were classic cases of anxious/avoidant. As I’ve progressed in my own self-love, I don’t see myself as trying to control him or gain something from him that I’m lacking. I feel fulfilled from within and it’s only near him that I do get occasionally triggered. Apart from him I’m not experiencing anxiety or triggers. That is major progress for me. I desire him to be different bc I see how tortured he is- he’s deeply depressed and hopeless where before he was hopeful and happy. I know he longs for love and connection. He has told me, so I want that for him. He just feels incapable. In moments he triggers me bc I feel fake at times and at a loss relating to him on only a superficial level when my heart wants more- but more often than not, I meet him where he is and accept he’s feeling stuck, fearful and unable to give more. I think most self-aware AP’s working to secure have honorable intentions toward their partner and want their partners to feel comfortable, confident and happy on all levels. I doubt a secure would stay the course with a DA long-term bc in doing so, they would have to sacrifice so much of their needs. I’m not perfect. I love S imperfectly but selflessly. I have needs but they’re reasonable needs- at a reasonable human level to connect physically, mentally and emotionally. I don’t need S to rescue me. I would be happy for him if he could be content and at peace either by himself or with a different partner, but he’s much worse off since our break. He admits to that. but you say he has initiated three times in nine months. and he sees you for an hour. he is distant and cold. and you feel you might just be enabling him to be casual (you are, in my dismissive perspective. what you describe is a dismissive who doesn't want a relationship. you also describe a seriously depressed person: but you seem to think there is potential here. i do not know why: as a dismissive i cannot fathom being involved like this with any intention to ever be in a relationship. you say that you might just get mad and walk away and never look back (that's selfless love? no. that's love with an agenda. my view is; you're clinging. you're in denial, and a fantasy. he's depressed, idk what else is going on. but i wish you the best . i can't engage further on this because the dynamic you describe doesn't even have a hint of health in it to me but that's just my perspective and we have to agree to disagree. 🌸 juniper- Yes, we can agree to disagree bc at this point I haven’t given up on him. No, he’s not initiating and he’s warm/cold but that’s not surprising bc he feels incapable and depressed. It is what it is. That acceptance is loving selflessly and I love him too much to let go or give up on him. Of course we’re not where we should be- we’re not even together let alone functional but we have time to get it right. Or not. Neither one of us has let anyone else into our lives. So my journey continues. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2018 23:19:54 GMT
i'm sorry tnr9 ctually i was more referring to the posters here still talking in terms of rescue mode. you've come so far!! so i acknowledge your healing and awareness. @anxious and faithopelove are using language that really seems to infantilize their partners. and when i see that from someone struggling on an internet forum to take care of themselves, who are resentful and frustrated that their partner will not change for them, well, i just wanted to call it out. it doesn't impact me personally because i don't have the dynamic in my life personally, and won't again. but, my perspective as a DA on the topic might shed some light on the resistance they are encountering. i've tried to be direct about it in previous posts on the thread but i don't feel like it resonates. Uh, i was just trying to spell out a narrative that I have come to recognize, in hopes that it will clarify it for other APs who are reading this thread. what has helped me alot is in reading other people's descriptions of their own experiences, which help me put into words my own experience and allowing me to see that that has been also my scripts. i don't think i am continuing to infantilize my partner - that was my point of the post. i think tnr9 has put it in better terms but i'm trying to say the same thing. perhaps i'm just only starting out in my journey to see my own role and in trying to change that dynamic, but i think that in choosing to send that email, i'm trying. i'm also in my process of trying to make sense of the scripts that I have, and spelling them out for myself and for others. i heard you the first time juniper, and before that I already accepted and acknowledged that. perhaps i might relapse into AP thinking/behavior, but i'm still learning a new way which I don't have yet. this is also a difficult process for me. I appreciate all the comments and advice given here so far, and I heard them loud and clear. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 14, 2018 0:08:54 GMT
i'm sorry tnr9 ctually i was more referring to the posters here still talking in terms of rescue mode. you've come so far!! so i acknowledge your healing and awareness. @anxious and faithopelove are using language that really seems to infantilize their partners. and when i see that from someone struggling on an internet forum to take care of themselves, who are resentful and frustrated that their partner will not change for them, well, i just wanted to call it out. it doesn't impact me personally because i don't have the dynamic in my life personally, and won't again. but, my perspective as a DA on the topic might shed some light on the resistance they are encountering. i've tried to be direct about it in previous posts on the thread but i don't feel like it resonates. Uh, i was just trying to spell out a narrative that I have come to recognize, in hopes that it will clarify it for other APs who are reading this thread. what has helped me alot is in reading other people's descriptions of their own experiences, which help me put into words my own experience and allowing me to see that that has been also my scripts. i don't think i am continuing to infantilize my partner - that was my point of the post. i think tnr9 has put it in better terms but i'm trying to say the same thing. perhaps i'm just only starting out in my journey to see my own role and in trying to change that dynamic, but i think that in choosing to send that email, i'm trying. i'm also in my process of trying to make sense of the scripts that I have, and spelling them out for myself and for others. i heard you the first time juniper, and before that I already accepted and acknowledged that. perhaps i might relapse into AP thinking/behavior, but i'm still learning a new way which I don't have yet. this is also a difficult process for me. I appreciate all the comments and advice given here so far, and I heard them loud and clear. i'm sorry to see you deleted your account! what i read and perhaps misunderstood was a continuation of the discussion about the fixing aspect of wanting your DA to be better, and that loving him as hard as you can won't change him. so that was the reason for my comments about AP loving in order to "help". that kind of talk coupled with the comments voicing extreme dissatisfaction in the relationship and listing all the things you dislike and find unacceptable, just can't be reconciled in my mind. So i am sorry if i misunderstood- i read a real conflict in your posts between "loving " and kind of what sounds like "loathing". best to you tho! i think that the AP/DA dynamic is generally just very difficult, and perhaps with hitting your limit with his avoidant behaviors you will be able to eventually let go and find a mate more suitable! an avoidant will bring out the worst in an anxious, and vice versa. we are all in the learning curve, at different levels, and the only thing any of us can do is keep working at it. |
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Post by tnr9 on Oct 14, 2018 2:11:35 GMT
I am so sorry to see you have left Anxious....we are all on a journey and I wish you well in yours. I do hope you come back and I am always here if you need a cyber hug.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2018 7:18:28 GMT
I get that if you love someone you want them to be happy, you want only the best things to happen to them, you want them to grow but it seems that a lot of APs think, or want to make themselves a condition to that.
Their needs aren't your needs.
Even if they're miserable because of their attachment, the source of their misery is in their childhood and those traumas has to be addressed, not their relationship status or their communication issues or how much they text. Those things will make YOU happy (not for long), not them.
Those who have a need to rescue, have you ever thought why being in a relationship (with you) is the requirement? Why you are the best for that job? If their happiness is all you want and even if you believe that a relationship is the key, what if they were happier with someone else? People ARE replaceable. As sad as it is.
Why are you asking questions about how to make him A or B or C, but not how to ease his depression?
Each time I see a question how to, let's say ,make him trust more (just an example) it always follows with obvious or hidden "so that he wants me".
To me, you're not rescuing anyone but acting on your fears, trying to force your needs(not those healthy ones) which is as selfish and as dysfunctional as them giving you silent treatment when overwhelmed. It's the same thing but in a different form.
It's not a sign of your pure heart, but possessiveness.
That kind of behavior is not different from a behavior of a caregiver who loved you so much but only, and only if you where their perfect child, a caregiver who tells you it's for your own good so you better listen or else.
If you love them and really want to help them, accept them for who they are, be there if they ASK for your help, that's it. Even if it means letting go, after all you want their happiness, not to activate their trauma, to suck them into a toxic dance, to make them even more depressed and to isolate from others because "it always ends like this"?
If you can't, it means that cape is covering up your true intention.
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Post by tnr9 on Oct 15, 2018 12:58:19 GMT
I get that if you love someone you want them to be happy, you want only the best things to happen to them, you want them to grow but it seems that a lot of APs think, or want to make themselves a condition to that. Their needs aren't your needs. Even if they're miserable because of their attachment, the source of their misery is in their childhood and those traumas has to be addressed, not their relationship status or their communication issues or how much they text. Those things will make YOU happy (not for long), not them. Those who have a need to rescue, have you ever thought why being in a relationship (with you) is the requirement? Why you are the best for that job? If their happiness is all you want and even if you believe that a relationship is the key, what if they were happier with someone else? People ARE replaceable. As sad as it is. Why are you asking questions about how to make him A or B or C, but not how to ease his depression? Each time I see a question how to, let's say ,make him trust more (just an example) it always follows with obvious or hidden "so that he wants me". To me, you're not rescuing anyone but acting on your fears, trying to force your needs(not those healthy ones) which is as selfish and as dysfunctional as them giving you silent treatment when overwhelmed. It's the same thing but in a different form. It's not a sign of your pure heart, but possessiveness. That kind of behavior is not different from a behavior of a caregiver who loved you so much but only, and only if you where their perfect child, a caregiver who tells you it's for your own good so you better listen or else. If you love them and really want to help them, accept them for who they are, be there if they ASK for your help, that's it. Even if it means letting go, after all you want their happiness, not to activate their trauma, to suck them into a toxic dance, to make them even more depressed and to isolate from others because "it always ends like this"? If you can't, it means that cape is covering up your true intention. Hey @christie....I will answer...just for me.....the tying of rescue to self worth started at a really young age (parents divorce, thought it was my "fault" and thus my "responsibility" my "purpose" to make them feel better). Now, when I sense "emotional pain" in my partner or strangers or even friends, the cape/rescue mode is my first response...it is not all possessiveness....there is a desire to help and heal...I just think I never learned how to properly use that gift in a way that really and truly is "helpful" to them...and I will admit that when I feel emotional pain in my partner...I want to fix it, rescue him...and Hollywood and fairy tales have absolutely fed the thought that it is possible. I agree that there is a very selfish/possessive aspect to my rescuing....I have somehow tied my worth to my ability to encourage and rescue and I am working on it. I realize that from another person's vantage point, this looks very manipulative and twisted...but I think this is not a case of it being all bad or all good...it is a mixed bag....but I do appreciate the point you are trying to make and will say that I am still working on my awareness of when I go into cape mode since it has been so instinctual for so long. |
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Post by lilyg on Oct 15, 2018 13:26:50 GMT
I get that if you love someone you want them to be happy, you want only the best things to happen to them, you want them to grow but it seems that a lot of APs think, or want to make themselves a condition to that. Their needs aren't your needs. Even if they're miserable because of their attachment, the source of their misery is in their childhood and those traumas has to be addressed, not their relationship status or their communication issues or how much they text. Those things will make YOU happy (not for long), not them. Those who have a need to rescue, have you ever thought why being in a relationship (with you) is the requirement? Why you are the best for that job? If their happiness is all you want and even if you believe that a relationship is the key, what if they were happier with someone else? People ARE replaceable. As sad as it is. Why are you asking questions about how to make him A or B or C, but not how to ease his depression? Each time I see a question how to, let's say ,make him trust more (just an example) it always follows with obvious or hidden "so that he wants me". To me, you're not rescuing anyone but acting on your fears, trying to force your needs(not those healthy ones) which is as selfish and as dysfunctional as them giving you silent treatment when overwhelmed. It's the same thing but in a different form. It's not a sign of your pure heart, but possessiveness. That kind of behavior is not different from a behavior of a caregiver who loved you so much but only, and only if you where their perfect child, a caregiver who tells you it's for your own good so you better listen or else. If you love them and really want to help them, accept them for who they are, be there if they ASK for your help, that's it. Even if it means letting go, after all you want their happiness, not to activate their trauma, to suck them into a toxic dance, to make them even more depressed and to isolate from others because "it always ends like this"? If you can't, it means that cape is covering up your true intention. Hey @christie ....I will answer...just for me.....the tying of rescue to self worth started at a really young age (parents divorce, thought it was my "fault" and thus my "responsibility" my "purpose" to make them feel better). Now, when I sense "emotional pain" in my partner or strangers or even friends, the cape/rescue mode is my first response...it is not all possessiveness....there is a desire to help and heal...I just think I never learned how to properly use that gift in a way that really and truly is "helpful" to them...and I will admit that when I feel emotional pain in my partner...I want to fix it, rescue him...and Hollywood and fairy tales have absolutely fed the thought that it is possible. I agree that there is a very selfish/possessive aspect to my rescuing....I have somehow tied my worth to my ability to encourage and rescue and I am working on it. I realize that from another person's vantage point, this looks very manipulative and twisted...but I think this is not a case of it being all bad or all good...it is a mixed bag....but I do appreciate the point you are trying to make and will say that I am still working on my awareness of when I go into cape mode since it has been so instinctual for so long. I think very similar as @christie here, as I value independency and free will a lot and I can feel caged easily if I find someone trying to conduct me or my actions in any way (so much that I think of it as a fault in my personality and I know I sometimes should be more understanding towards others in this respect). I feel what you're saying is the type of love I'd like to give and receive. And it's the only thing that has helped me to form a good romantic bond. tnr9, I can understand your will to give and heal your special person too, and I think it is, as you said, a precious gift, if it is triggered by compassion and respect towards the other as someone capable of taking his/her own good decisions. I think it helps if you're always trying to take your own good, healthy decisions, so then you expect the other to do the same. Anyway, I think you're a very good woman and I can see you have a beautiful mentality towards others and I think that's something very special. I cannot understand fully, of course, but I can see you're on a right mentality understanding what's going on inside you and that's very admirable. We all are selfish sometimes so… it's normal, and even good if we focus on being selfish to preserve our own mental health  if that makes sense. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2018 13:30:22 GMT
wanting to provide assistance and support to those we care about is a natural human trait.
but the types of things being said on this thread about the partners- i don't have the right words for this.
here are women struggling with their own emotions, which are connected to getting the relationship they want from these men.
these men are not performing the way these women would like, and so these women teeter between love and resentment.
instead of practicing self love and respect, they have had poor boundaries and doubt and confusion about how to behave in order to inspire the behavior they would like to see from their partners.
they have tippytoed (unhealthy) and gotten sick of it and then let these men know just what they think.
the men go away, in response. feature that.
these are the women who think they know what's best for someone else.
they have agendas. they don't know what's good for themselves, or how to create that in their own lives. they are unhappy, and having relationship failure.
they need to focus on their own damn dysfunction (which they are, great) . but when i read their comments about how they think their partners should be it sounds so self-UNAWARE, so patronizing and infantilizing!!! these are grown men!!! and like @christie says- why do they think that THEY are the ones with the magic love? i mean, they have insecure attachment styles. they are trying to figure it out- but they are still unhealthy! who do they think they are?
it's just so offensive to me to read these anxious posters thinking they know what's good for their men.
if these women are so good for these men and can fix them then why is there a problem?!?
oh wait- it's because like @christie said, and i have said...
these are deep wounds that aren't about fixing certain behaviors to make a partner happy. the work required to address these wounds is deep, personal, unique, and none of these women's business. Unless the partner makes it your business, it's none of your damn business.
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Post by tnr9 on Oct 15, 2018 16:00:18 GMT
Pracitise "dissapointing" other people Hey anne12...that has been a huge no no for me...literally upon reading those words, I felt myself regress and cry. I feel so utterly compelled not to disappoint people...the internal dialogue is that it is wrong and selfish...thus emeshment....and a great desire to people please. Thank you for bringing this up as I need to explore this further. |
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Post by alexandra on Oct 15, 2018 18:59:51 GMT
It's also not uncommon that having a narcissistic childhood attachment figure can push someone inclined to sensitive tendencies to be extremely HSP/empathic. |
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if that makes sense.