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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2018 15:30:22 GMT
the thing is, we are all anonymously offering the advice we have. it is isn't effective, it isn't effective. this isn't a paid therapy session with a relationship and rapport. this is people sharing on an internet forum. if it isn't helpful to OP then maybe therapy would be, she just asked for advice on a forum. there are other venues where she can find what she needs. i have a different perspective of a forum than i do of a support group with real life relationship (identities are actually known and face to face meetings are undertaken- totally different venue and level of engagement. Just my thoughts. Not looking to fight. Take what you want and leave the rest. (It is an interesting anthropological question about digital communities/avatars/what we owe each other though, I was pretty into that stuff a few years back. I could probably spend all day discussing it, but alas... life!) oh i don't want to fight epicgum! i totally respect your input and see the validity of your point, i do- but i see it more for a more personal, intimate venue. can we hug? because i want to, lol. i'm doing the best i can, there are just bound to be disagreements. |
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Post by epicgum on Nov 1, 2018 15:38:27 GMT
Just my thoughts. Not looking to fight. Take what you want and leave the rest. (It is an interesting anthropological question about digital communities/avatars/what we owe each other though, I was pretty into that stuff a few years back. I could probably spend all day discussing it, but alas... life!) oh i don't want to fight epicgum! i totally respect your input and see the validity of your point, i do- but i see it more for a more personal, intimate venue. can we hug? because i want to, lol. i'm doing the best i can, there are just bound to be disagreements. Awww, of course juniper ! Thank you for your kind reply. I really value your point of view as well. HUG!  |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2018 15:49:39 GMT
oh i don't want to fight epicgum! i totally respect your input and see the validity of your point, i do- but i see it more for a more personal, intimate venue. can we hug? because i want to, lol. i'm doing the best i can, there are just bound to be disagreements. Awww, of course juniper ! Thank you for your kind reply. I really value your point of view as well. HUG! yussss!!! (((((epicgum))))) |
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Post by Jeb Kinnison on Nov 1, 2018 22:06:51 GMT
This thread was reported. As a general rule, I don't read everything or remove anything that isn't personally abusive -- the alternate areas for "support" were intended for people who wanted a safer space. I'd ask that everyone be as kind as possible, but we also need to recognize that some of the pain suffered in relationships comes of having unrealistic expectations, having the person you thought you were attached to fail to conform to what you expected or wanted. Report your experiences and respect those of others, but participating here is a group effort to understand how one can best be happy by coping with other people as they truly are, not as we wish they were.
I have found contributors here to be warmly sympathetic to the pains of others, on the whole. I've seen some efforts at tough love which were tactless, but rarely meant to hurt. As a text-based kind of support group, no one can see your face as they type at you, or give you a hug to go along with bracingly harsh advice. But that goes along with the honesty that is possible when relatively anonymous.
A good therapist is almost always going to tread carefully and lead you toward understanding more about your own behavior while avoiding bruising your tender feelings further. You're not going to get that level of tailored concern and understanding from an online support group, but then this group is available to everyone 24/7. It seems to help a lot of people, and bear in mind we are all on a journey of discovery.
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