Post by anne12 on Jun 26, 2019 7:19:13 GMT
The biggest barrier to listening and relying on your intuition is often the doubt. How do you know your idea or decision is right? How do you know if it is the intuition or old survival strategies that speak? You do this by knowing your inner state and being aware of it. The successful leaders and self-employed counselors say that when all the calculations and considerations are reviewed, it is ultimately the intuition that decides the final decision.
The intuition is neutral. It is only the moment after you have received your intuitive message that your mindset and old emotional patterns are coming in. So, if you intentionally use your intuition, you should be able to bring yourself into an intuitive state where you are more neutral and thus manageable.
Your crooked condition affects your emotional state and your cognitive condition and vice versa. Are you challenged on one of your "channels" you do not have access to your intuition. For example, try to think about how difficult it is to make big and long-term decisions if you're tired, stressed, upset or angry.
If you are aware that you are under pressure, you can change your condition. It's called "self-regulating". An example of self-regulation can be to take a few deep breath exercises and lower the stress level in the body. Or go for a walk outside. The contact with your body's condition is called the interoceptive sense. It is the sense that reads the body's inner state. It is our ability to sense how we feel and understand what is going on inside the body. Many of us have never learned to use the interoceptive sense. But there is every reason to do so. Neuroscience shows that when we strengthen our interoceptive sense, we strengthen the activity in the right hemisphere. And our ability to think holistically, forward-looking and intuitively sits just in the right hemisphere. So that's all possible. Neuroscience shows that when we strengthen our interoceptive sense, we strengthen the activity in the right hemisphere. And our ability to think holistically, forward-looking and intuitively sits just in the right hemisphere. So there is every reason to strengthen your interoceptive sense.
The most important thing is that you yourself know your optimal condition, where you are in balance. Then you can assess whether you have access to your intuition or not. Then you intentionally use your intuition, then you need to be able to read and regulate your own condition.
The intuition often speaks during breaks. If your life is full of activity, there's no room for you to hear your intuition, that's why it often works to sleep on a bigger decision. Many people find that when they wake up in the morning, they know what is right to do in a decision-making process. There are many ways to create the right circumstances to hear your intuition.
Your bodily intuition:
Your bodily intuition is the part that we call our belly sensation/the gut. But the body has no language. Our body senses. We read other people and the outside world with our body. We enter a meeting room and sense a mood. We listen to others and sense if they do not speak the true.
The most basic tool is to know your "yes" and your "no" in the body. The first is your truth signal, your "yes". It is your body that tells you that this is the right choice. When the body says "yes" you will typically experience it as a sense of expansion in the body. Your chest opens up. You straighten your body. You can experience chills in different places on the body. Your body feels lighter and full of energy. When you notice your body's "yes" reactions, you will begin to feel feelings, such as joy, curiosity, security, calmness and serenity. You can feel something is the right decision because it feels good, calm and safe.
The second signal is your warning signal. It's your body that says "no". You can feel that your system is contracting. Your body collapses a little. The stomach contracts. Often, a no feeling is empty. Your bodily intuition tells you that this is not the right solution.
The more you notice your body's signals, the easier it will be for you to make the right decisions. Many of us have been accustomed to ignoring our body signals. We have learned to base important decisions solely on logic. In fact, listening to what the body tells you is far more sustainable and strategically wise.
Your cognitive intuition
Our brains have two sides, the left and the right half. In our society, we have been brought up to primarily use our left brain. It is the part of the brain that thinks logically and rationally. It is really good at solving problems. To weigh for and against. To think things through an extra time. You use your left brain when you solve problems, write to-do lists or research on the Internet. For most of us there is a non-stop inner dialogue from we wake up until we fall asleep at night. It is the left hemisphere that is active.
Our cognitive intuition is primarily located in the right hemisphere. Our right brain half perceives and processes emotions, sensations, music and art. Right brain half thinks holistically and creatively, but it is without language. Right brain half communicates in pictures, in visions and music. The right hemisphere typically presents us with a solid solution.
If you want a greater access to your overall potential, then you must consciously learn to draw on both the right and left brain. A simple exercise is to take a piece of paper and write down a problem that you would like a solution to. Your left hemisphere job is to take notes that come from your right hemisphere. The most important thing is that, without judging, you write down everything that comes to you. Try it and you'll be surprised at what answers you get.
Your emotional intuition
Our heart is an important tool for strengthening our intuition. At the HeartMath Institute, scientists have found a concept that they call heart coherence - which means "to be logical, coherent, consistent and understandable". When there are similarities between our three intuitive systems: body, brain and heart, we experience heart coherence.
Heart coherence activates feelings of calm, coherence, attachment to others and security. You can train your ability to experience heart coherence.
The reason you need to train your ability to experience heart coherence is that you can learn to feel the difference between making decisions from either:
1) Fears and old beliefs
2) Based on trust and the ability of your intuitions to take holistic and sustainable solutions.
If you make decisions based on old beliefs, you will be guided by a limited mindset, old stories and traumas on an unconscious level. Very inappropriate and not very professional. So how do you avoid this potential danger? You do this by learning how to train your heart coherence. When making important decisions while maintaining the experience of heart coherence, you have access to your full potential and will make decisions on a much more nuanced and sustainable basis. Imagine what a huge difference it will make when making important decisions!
So training your heart's intuition will strengthen your decision-making ability. That you will also experience a huge improvement in all your relationships, both privately and professionally, is a side benefit. Your ability to communicate and understand other people will increase significantly. It can be felt in all areas of life.
Post by anne12 on Jun 26, 2019 7:21:45 GMT
To Be able to listen to your intuition, you have to Be precent. The intuition always comes from love. If IT comes from fear, IT is the ego that speaks.
The NO from the intuition is difficult to hear. We are more afraid of the NO. Ex. Your intuition says No to a job, but right After your fear and reasoning starts to make noise. The fears says: "Maybe you should take the job, maybe you Will not Get another job, maybe you Will never meet a partner ect.
When The intuitions YES says "Yeah, I should really do this", After your yes your limiting believes, your judgement, your rational thinking can set in and bleur you vision.
Some people are more Bodily oriented. To Be able to feel your intuition with your Body you have to have a well-regulated nerveussystem. Again your yes feels like expansion in the body, you feel grounded, you feel the flow but not in euforic way. If you feel very euforic, IT can Be your ego talking. Your No feels like contraction in the Body and heaviness. A balanced nerveussystem is the key. If your nerveussystem is stressed and unregulated, then you can not use your Bodily intuition.
Others more feel their intuition with their Heart/their emotions. Then you can feel if a person, who is dear to your Heart, suffers. You can Get a hunch, that You have to call the person and IT is often the right thing to do. You can say "I know This, because I can feel IT in my Heart". You can practise daily heart-meditation by putting your hand on your Heart and Imagine that you breathe in love through your hand.
Others feel their intuition with their cognition. The right part of the brain doesent have a language. You can use meditation daily and then Write down in a notebook what comes Up ex. you can ask youself: what is IT that I need to know today ?" If you are in an intuitive state you Will start to feel the flow while you Write. If you are not used to This, you have to let your ego do the talking and Write IT down. After a while IT Will change and your intuition takes over. Then you can ask your intuition "what is IT that i have to know about This situation that I am in right now (with children, job, partner ect) and Write IT down - you can Be surprised about what comes Up. The ego likes to Write (and think).
If you have a conflict with someone you can do a two chair exercise. First you put yourself in one chair. Then you let your ego and your fear talk. The ego/fear wants to fight against the reality, uses black and White thinking, wants to Be right. Let IT talk and listen.
Then you change the chair and you let your intuition and your essens talk. Notise your Body position when you change the chair. Also feel the calmness when your intuition talks and notise that there are fewer words. There is No reasning. IT is okay to feel what you feel when you listen to your intuition. You do not have to explain.
Your intuition talks to you in many different ways. Through Words, through songs, through Words in a movie ect.
Believe that your life is suporting you, shows you the way, there is a plan for you in This life and that there is someone / something beside you supporting you.
Practise theese 3 channels to Be Better able to listen to your intuition.
Also Be aware how IT felt at timts, when you dident listen to your intuition. What was your arguments/fears for not listening to your intuition.
Post by lilyg on Jul 4, 2019 8:00:40 GMT
Very interesting Anne! This concept reminds me of a book I like, called 'The gift of fear'. Have you read it?
Post by anne12 on Jul 4, 2019 8:13:32 GMT
Yes, very interesting!
Nope, I do not know about That book. I got some of the information from a professional who teaches People how to Get in contact with their intuition, so That they can Get Better at making Better decisions in their worklife and in their lovelife. She is also a SE practicioner ect.
But I Will check IT out.
Also Dr. Gabor Mate talks about authensity, intuition and attatchment ect. And how the gut, the Heart and the brain Works together.m.youtube.com/watch?v=pUGGNPAK6uw
We decussed the topic in This thread:jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1871/intuition
Jul 4, 2019 15:25:52 GMT
Post by lilyg on Jul 4, 2019 15:25:52 GMT
Yes, very interesting!
Nope, I do not know about That book. I got some
of the information
from a professional who teaches People how to Get in contact with their intuition so That they can Get Better at making Better decisions in their worklife and in their lovelife ect.
But I Will check IT out.
Also Dr. Gabor Mate talks about authensity, intuition and attatchment ect. And how the gut, the Heart and the brain Works together.
We decussed the topic in This thread:jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1871/intuition
Will search it too. I think nodaways we have become unaware of ourselves. Thank you!
Post by anne12 on Feb 20, 2020 9:40:24 GMT
The gut and the brain:
Lots of the latest research in the field of bioology and neuroscience has suggested that the body responds first, and the brain makes meaning after the fact. The way that the brain responds can then send a signal back to the belly reinforcing the perception of threat, and setting up a loop that is hard to get out of.
Unresolved trauma makes it much trickier because there are always signals of danger coming from the body that are responses to events long over, not in the present.
The gut is a brain all on it's own, in a very real sense. There are about 500,000,000 individual neurons in the entire enteric system, and 80% of the nerve signalling between the gut and the brain are afferent - meaning they travel from the gut TO the brain.
Post by anne12 on Sept 25, 2020 11:51:02 GMT
If you do not say no yourself, your body will.
I have an important message for you. It’s about ‘what can happen when you don’t listen to your intuition. Over the spring of 2020, I even ‘big time’ ignored my own inner voice, and it came to cost me dearly.
In the beginning of the pandemic, I had plenty of time. And like many other freelancers, of course, I also had to join the online course wave.
Now not so negative, I said to myself.
There was a webinar course that said:; ‘Create your own professional online webinar course and earn millions while you sleep’. Oh yes! I was in! I
found my creditcard and entered my credit card information - all while ignoring a slightly heavy and restless feeling in my body.
‘Now dont be so negative,’ I said to myself. ‘Believe in it. ‘How hard can it be to do an online course’!
I will just make a pause here in my narrative, and do an intuition exercise
Did you subscribe to my mailing list? Do you still want to get my newsletter? Have you made a decision yet ?
If not, I would advise you to perform the exercise. It can help you in your love life, where you have to make much more important choices than a newsletter.
Close your eyes and breathe quietly in and out a few times. Feel the calm lands in your body and ask yourself:
‘Should I unsubscribe from this newsletter, yes or no?’.
Listen to your intuition and make a short process!
If you start a long conversation with yourself, ‘On the one hand and on the other hand’ - you are not listening to your intuition, but to your ego.
Back to the story…
My upcoming bestselling online course got the title:.
‘How to attract the dream man who will one day be the father of your children’
What single woman who dreams of husband and children will not buy such a course!
Yes! The success was almost there!
After a few weeks, the excitement and infatuation was gone
The course had become unmanageable and the marketing tricks used, did not really fluctuate with me. It was like the course and I wanted something different. I started getting a sore shoulder and as the project progressed, the pain got worse and worse. At the end, I wasent even able to sit at the desk with my labtop.
When you're not saying no - your body will do it for you.
That's how it is. When we go against our own values, it rarely ends well. When we overhear our intuition, we often end up paying a heavy price, either through physical or mental pain.
Of course, this also aplies to your love life
Have you tried to ignore your feelings in relation to, for example, choosing a partner?
Even if you sensed that it was not going to be the two of you, you still continued the relationship.
You had maybe three amazing months where you were wildly in love - and then it went downhill. Drama and quarrels became part of the relationship. It took a year or seven years before you finally realized, that you would never be happy together.
Do you remember what price you paid for your futile struggle?
My guess is; a worn out self-esteem, tears, sadness, sleepless nights, stress, headaches, days when you had to stay home from work because you were sick …
Pain is a sign to you, that your limits have been exceeded
Pain in all its forms, physical or emotional, is the body's way of telling you that 'something needs to change'. The pain is a sign that ‘something’ is out of balance and that your limits have been exceeded.
Only you can change your painful situation.
No matter how much we struggle to succeed in an online course or relationship - we can not change them - but we can take responsibility for our own contribution.
What can you do better now or in your next relationship? You may also ask yourself; ‘What justifies me living in an unhealthy relationship’? or ‘Why be in a relationship where I am more unhappy than happy’? And finally ‘If I now lived your life,‘ What would your best advice be for me ?. Should I stay or should I go?
When enough is enough
One day I had enough. I decided to skip my online adventure. No doubt. It was a difficult choice. I struggled with the embarrassment and shame of giving up. I struggled with the acceptance, that we did not fit together - the course and I. Why the hell could I not make it succeed? What was wrong with me?
There is nothing wrong with you or me
There was nothing wrong with me. Nothing wrong with the course. We just did not fit together. I had fallen in love with the wrong type. It started out so well, but ended badly anyway.
During the course of the relationship, I began to lose faith in myself. Started blaming myself, ‘You should also be better at x, y, z’… ‘See all the other course participants, they are so successful’
Self-blame is poison to your self-esteem/selfworth. The sooner you realize this, the better.
When it dawned on me how unlovingly I treated myself, I finally had enough. And the moment, I made the decision to stop my love affair with ‘Project Make Money While You Sleep’, my pain disappeared like if it had never been there.
I am neither lying nor exaggerating. Quite physically, it felt like something heavy was being lifted off my shoulders. What a relief. I felt ten tons lighter and correspondingly happy. Yes! I got my freedom back.
Adversity is an opportunity to become wiser
In retrospect, it is clear why I fell in love with the online course.
The dream that, ‘the money would just flow into my account while I slept’, seduced me. Deep down, I knew - it was too good to be true. Still, I chose to throw my common sense and intuitive sense overboard.
I paid the price. Lost a few thousand dollars. Wasted my time. Got sore in my shoulder.
In return, I have learned something that cannot be bought for money.
I have become an experience richer.
The next time I fall in love with an ad, I will not jump into a new relationship.
Next time, I'm a little wiser and know what good questions to ask during our first ‘date’ / before I press the buy button.
Next time, I will not let myself be dazzled by sweet words and a beautiful wrapping.
Next time I will be more patient and better at listening to my intuition.
Next time, I will not make the same mistakes - but some new ones.
Life is a mix of small and big problems and mistakes
If you do not learn from your mistakes, you will continue to attract drama in your love life. However, if you learn from your mistakes, the next problems you will encounter will be easier to solve - whether it is challenges in the relationship or with an online course.
An SE attatchment gestalt lovecoach
Post by anne12 on Nov 29, 2020 7:48:49 GMT
Make contact with your body
Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth (or nose). Do it 3-4 times, it activates your parasympathetic nervous system and therefore makes you more present here and now
Feel that the chair carries your weight (if you are sitting down), that you can safely let your body sink into the chair, it will carry you.
Feel what sensations that are in your body. There will be different kinds in different places in the body e.g. cold - heat, restlessness - calm, heaviness - lightness, tension - relaxation, contraction - expansion, trembling, tingling, growling, electricity, pain, champagne bubbles, etc.
If it is difficult for you to feel the sensations in your body, check out what moods you are feeling. Moods can e.g. be sadness, joy, lightness, liveliness, heaviness, loneliness, abandonment, hopelessness, desire, playful, energetic, optimistic, etc.
Now focus on what you want to make a choice about:
See it, hear it, think about it,
Feel as objectively as possible the sensations in your body and / or your moods when you imagine that xxxxx
There may be several sensations and moods in play at the same time, which can be confusing, but it is as it should be.
Things are rarely either-or but both-and! - or shades.
Either way, there are usually pros and some cons to All things.
You may want to switch between one option and then the other option:
How is it felt in your body / your mood if you choose A ?
How is it felt in your body / your mood if you choose B ?
If it is difficult to distinguish, put 2 chairs infront of eachother..:
When you sit on one chair, it is option A - when you sit on the other chair, it is option B.
Then take turns sitting on one chair and the other chair.
Notice what sensations and moods (not thoughts) and
possibly write down what sensations you feel in the body and the moods you are feeling.
Interpretation of your sensations / moods:
What will your feelings / moods tell you?
The reason why it is good to feel body sensations is that they are relatively without interpretations as opposed to emotions and states.
-agitation in the stomach can e.g. interpreted as fear but also as energy, as a positive excitement that something (new) can happen.
-heaviness can be interpreted as abandonment, but also as "I am here".
Remember that there can be 2 opposing impulses, moods and emotions.
There can also easily be a conflict between head and heart, between reason and emotion
I would recommend that both your head and your heart is allowed to influence your choices!
It gives you a more whole and thus satisfying life.
Therefore, listen to what they each say and think about both options
Feel into one side and into the other side.
It's pretty much like communicating in a relationship 😊
Common misinterpretations ”:
Resistance to change aka the unknown is dangerous:
You interpret unrest, feelings of fear and discomfort as a "no" to that possibility, even though it would be really good for you to say yes.
This one can tease you because our old part of the brain (brain stem / reptile brain + midbrain) is focused on survival.
You have survived until this moment by doing what you usually do and possibly. what your parents and perhaps grandparents used to.
This part of the brain will have resistance about doing something new.
Although the new is much more positive for you!
It is called "Resistance to change" and can prevent you from taking exactly the steps that could give you the love life, work life ect that you dream of.
You may know it from the time you said goodbye to a job or a home because you had found something better.
Even though it was obvious that it was better for you, you could have moments of doubt, or unrest or be sad or even afraid of the new…
The known is safe:
It is really the same mechanism as the above just with the reverse sign
It unfolds when something that is NOT good for you feels safe and comfortable,
for example. someone who is reserved towards you / does not really want you, if that was how you experienced your parents.
If you are characterized by the insecure attachment patterns, it will be harder to get a clear and unambiguous response from within through your body.If you are characterized by the ambivalent attachment pattern,
doubts will often cause problems - even if it is a right decision for you.
Yes sometimes WHEN it's the best decision.
Unfortunately, you can not conversely conclude that if you have ambivalent attachment pattern, that then it is a yes when in doubt…If you are characterized by the disorganized attachment pattern
, confusion will typically make you very confused - even if it is a right decision for you.
Yes sometimes WHEN it's the best decision.
Unfortunately, you can not conversely conclude that confusion is a sign that it is the right decision.
If you are characterized by the dismissive avoidant attatchmentstyle:
It is not relevant to the dismissive, to listen to their bodily intuition, as they have shut down to feel the body, and therefore the body can not cheat on them/tell them what feels right or wrong..
Post by anne12 on Nov 29, 2020 7:56:18 GMT
Intuition when dating:
When the body cheats on you:
This is not relevant to the dismissive, as they have shut down to feel the body, and therefore the body can not cheat on them.
In connection with dating or due to lack of dating, they may feel uneasiness, stomach ache, tense breathing, heartbeat and other stress symptoms. It can be old things from the past that interferes with the present. They can ex. find 5 errors with the other person and can doubt if they want the other person or if the other person wants them.
They can also get a positive dopamine rush and get positive body sensations feeling euforic, Up in the clouds that reminds of mania.
The ambivalent can try to do the water tank exercise, go for a walk, move their body to Regulate
. It's a bad idea for the ambivalent to ask their date to help Them to land their nervous system in the dating face.
They can make some bad decisions and misinterpret the situation, when they are not regulated.
They can feel their Body But Can not always feel the body, if they are dissociated. They can therefore overhear warning signals. They can have boundless confidence because they are dissociated.
They may experience panic and anxiety symptoms in the body. This does not always mean, that they are with the wrong person. It may be the old story from the past.
They can be in high arousel when they date. They can react with a shut down and suddenly end the relationship if their date is looking at someone else, saying something they do not like ect. Shut down can feel like hopelessness. This is also connected to shame.
They can use breathing attention, the water tank exercise, the orientation exercise ect. to get into the now.
Post by anne12 on Nov 29, 2020 14:08:55 GMT
jebkinnisonforum.com/post/26262/Consider when you date, what is the good enough partner. And what is needed for you to be a good enough partner.
In these cases you will need to end the relationship:
If you experience disgust
If you feel uneasy, where your body wants to retire/withdraw
If you feel drained or you get in a bad mood after you have been together with the other person. If you often feel drained, it may be because the other person has bigger traumas inside. The other could be more damaged than yourself
Your hair raises in your neck
If the other has a depression you Will also feel drained
If you want to put down the other person
If you feel yourself feeling smaller and You are trying to exert yourself for the other, so that you are good enough
Be aware If This happens every time you date, then You have to work with yourself
Is your body is in alarm condition when you date? It can be signs of something unhealthy. Fight, escape, freeze
Unless you have got some disorganized attatchment style
The smell of the other is important. If you do not like the other persons smell, you will not come to like it later either. This is pure biology. We secrete all pheromones.
The other is threatening or otherwise crosses your boundaries
If you have some disorganized attatchmentstyle, you can ask someone you know with a more secure attatchmentstyle, who knows you.
If the other person manipulates, lies, cheats
Few shows this in the beginning
If the other speaks down at you, talks down about others ect.
If the other is charming and intense and it is too good to be true, then be aware of psychopathic and narcissistic features. This happens until you have surendered yourself to the other person. You can Try to yawn and watch if the other person mirrors You. If not it may be a warning sign.You can also try to provoke the person early on - by saying no to something they want. Try to say no to a date, a vacation ect. Sometimes they then will suddenly show their true colours.
They do not like being told no. They can be very intuitive and they can try to read you and tell you, what you are longing to hear.
Post by anne12 on Nov 29, 2020 14:23:54 GMT
Disqust as a natural responce to abuse:
It’s a core emotion meaning it tells us something important about how our environment is affecting us. We benefit greatly when we learn to listen to core emotions, as opposed avoiding them as we are taught to do in our society.
It’s one of the first emotions to have evolved probably to facilitate survival by immediately expelling something that could make us sick, like a poisonous berry or rotted meat.
Disgust often comes up in response to poisonous or toxic people, where deep trust and love has been betrayed.
We naturally feel disgust in response to someone who has abused us.
Validating disgust can decrease anxiety and shame from trauma.
We can sense disgust physically as: revulsion, nausea, the impulse to get something out of you, like an abuser who has been internalized.
Disgust has impulses that can be brought into awareness.
When disgust is processed, the nervous system will reset to a calmer more regulated state.
Want to experiment with disgust?
Imagine smelling rotted meat. Notice the feeling of disgust in your body. Describe the sensations of disgust or choose from the list below that most closely describe the sensations of disgust you feel.
Queasy, Pit in stomach, Gagging
Tense, Tight, Nauseated
Dizzy, A hole inside, Off center
Acidy, Raw, Jittery,
Numb, Stomach ache, Jelly belly
Now, so you’re not left with the feeling of disgust, imagine smelling something wonderful like fresh baked cookies or your favorite flower.