Post by ckhjy135 on Jul 15, 2019 16:13:47 GMT
Not sure how I stumbled upon this page, but it is a breath of fresh air. I am going through a break/break-up with someone just like this. I have become all of the things that scare this person over the past 6 months because I have felt so deprived of the emotional connectedness anyone would want out of a relationship. I felt like he was open at first and then he had some bad family things happen and just went down hill from there and never really came back. Then in the last two weeks he started disappearing which made me freak out because to wake up in the middle of the night and someone be gone and their phone is off is terrifying. We had also been planning to move in the next year so that I can go to grad school and he wanted to start his own business and now he just wants to like quit life and has done a total 180 on the plans we had started making. I felt like I couldn't control my own emotions and couldn't keep myself from trying to drag feelings out of him so I called it quits although we are still living together and we are sharing a car, he wanted to even run away from this and like not go to work. I told him that he still has a home and he can still do what he needs to get to work for now and that maybe this doesn't have to permanent but I can't do this anymore, not like this. I do want to be with this person and I do love them, I can accept some level of emotional distance but that involves telling me "I am going through something that is difficult for me, I need space to work through this." If I do give him space and try to date again, is it even worth it? Is there anything I can even go to help them to open up more? It is soooo difficult not to try to force things on them. It also tough because my friends tell me to jsut hit the road, leave him in the dust. But I understand that this behavior comes from deep emtional pain and I know that know matter how much he wants to, he just can't allow himself to feel his feelings, I know he isn't even aware of what he is doing or why, the question is...will he ever?