Post by cburnsesq on Jan 12, 2016 13:15:44 GMT
1. Very dysfunctional childhood (Mom-married 4x, drug problems. Dad not around. Moved frequently. No stability)
2. Has had 3 long term relationships (6 years, 12 years, 1 year)....before me
3. Started talking about a future with me fairly early.
4. Moved in with me after 6 weeks (only briefly as he knew he would be moving out of state)
5. Never really asked me questions about myself.
6. Slowly he started pulling away-stopped doing all the "little" things he did at the beginning.
7. Continued to be very affectionate, cuddly and kind.
8. Would ask me what was wrong if he could sense I was upset and was interested in the response. Said he would "do better" at something I said I needed, but did it once or not at all.
9. Would not discuss his family or his feelings and told me it made him uncomfortable and is a topic he just doesn't want to deal with.
10. Towards the end we were having sex only once per week.
I ended things although I didn't want to. I would like another chance to work on things but only if I know what I'm dealing with and if he is willing to work at it too.
I've dated a VERY avoidant man before who fit the exact profile, but given this profile he seems to fit a little of everything (secure/avoidant/anxious) and I'm not sure what happened. Did he withdraw because he just stopped being interested (I never changed and although I'm anxious-preoccupied I'm very well aware of it and never pushed it on him) or is he an avoidant and is got scared once we started getting closer???
2. Has had 3 long term relationships (6 years, 12 years, 1 year)....before me
3. Started talking about a future with me fairly early.
4. Moved in with me after 6 weeks (only briefly as he knew he would be moving out of state)
5. Never really asked me questions about myself.
6. Slowly he started pulling away-stopped doing all the "little" things he did at the beginning.
7. Continued to be very affectionate, cuddly and kind.
8. Would ask me what was wrong if he could sense I was upset and was interested in the response. Said he would "do better" at something I said I needed, but did it once or not at all.
9. Would not discuss his family or his feelings and told me it made him uncomfortable and is a topic he just doesn't want to deal with.
10. Towards the end we were having sex only once per week.
I ended things although I didn't want to. I would like another chance to work on things but only if I know what I'm dealing with and if he is willing to work at it too.
I've dated a VERY avoidant man before who fit the exact profile, but given this profile he seems to fit a little of everything (secure/avoidant/anxious) and I'm not sure what happened. Did he withdraw because he just stopped being interested (I never changed and although I'm anxious-preoccupied I'm very well aware of it and never pushed it on him) or is he an avoidant and is got scared once we started getting closer???
