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Post by tnr9 on Aug 30, 2019 15:57:55 GMT
I was trying to think of how I can move forward and stop looking backwards so much and I realize that by the simple act of talking about how I am looking backwards...I am reinforcing that pattern. So..I am going to try a 30 day experiment called...”One small act for me”. It can be doing something I have put off, it can be talking to a friend, it can be planning a vacation...just something that shows that I am not stuck.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2019 16:25:33 GMT
Dang tnr9, I haven't seen this side of you before but you're killing it. Something new is happening in you. It's good!!!
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Post by tnr9 on Aug 30, 2019 18:51:26 GMT
Great idea! I want to join in as well! September here it is! Sure....and post here to keep yourself accountable.
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Post by tnr9 on Aug 30, 2019 22:50:16 GMT
So...today’s small acts were empty and throw out the remains of liquor that B had left behind started cleaning my condo
Thought of the day...I deserve to be treated better.
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maryt
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Post by maryt on Aug 30, 2019 23:28:38 GMT
I agree with Sherry. So happy to see you taking care of YOU! 🙂👍
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Post by dhali on Aug 31, 2019 0:39:40 GMT
Super interesting.. I read somewhere, that DA’s don’t think about the past too much, if at all. Maybe some here could confirm or deny. AP’s are generally stuck in the past.
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Post by 8675309 on Aug 31, 2019 2:52:16 GMT
You know I always tell you, you can do this!!
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Post by tnr9 on Aug 31, 2019 11:17:57 GMT
Starting off day 2 being grateful to be calm and present. Have plans to go on a hike this morning with a friend. I also have a “side” job working at one of my favorite stores and will be there tonight. Already feeling better, more hopeful.
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Post by ocarina on Aug 31, 2019 11:57:39 GMT
I was trying to think of how I can move forward and stop looking backwards so much and I realize that by the simple act of talking about how I am looking backwards...I am reinforcing that pattern. So..I am going to try a 30 day experiment called...”One small act for me”. It can be doing something I have put off, it can be talking to a friend, it can be planning a vacation...just something that shows that I am not stuck. Wow what's happened to you tnr9 this is a sea change in thinking!!!!! Fabulous - one small act is all it takes, one small act after another - you can be accountable to us if you like. Brilliant stuff - I know it has been a long hard journey for you and you're swimming against the tide of long held patterns of thought - but this is all it takes, little by little. Made my day! x
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2019 13:28:33 GMT
Starting off day 2 being grateful to be calm and present. Have plans to go on a hike this morning with a friend. I also have a “side” job working at one of my favorite stores and will be there tonight. Already feeling better, more hopeful. I'm really happy for you. This is an about face. What I see is that you have turned around to embrace yourself, and with you caring and taking up for yourself like this, you will raise the bar for any man who enters your life. You will recognize what love, respect, and support feels like and you will not settle for less. You will have an affinity for a man who is rooted in love, and healthy endeavors, instead of having a compulsion to tend to the sick and needy in a partner. Compassion that flows from self love and care is balanced, wise, and recognizes the separateness of the life paths of others. We are all connected, but healthy connection won't warp and strain you- you'll be able to maintain your integrity while providing strength to those around you. And they will offer stability and beauty back to you. I am proud of your resilience here- maybe you didn't know you had it in you- but the strengths of your convictions in the unhealthy direction will now be strength in conviction in the way that sets you free. It's all where you focus. You really have enough in you to prosper and excel at whatever you commit yourself to.
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 1, 2019 3:20:10 GMT
It was a long day of very awesome things....the hike was amazing and ended with my friend and I singing George Michael’s Freedom regarding our futures. She too had a relationship end and we have committed to help each other move forward. I then met up with another friend and enjoyed some food and shopping and then ended the day by working at the part time job. Today was a good day.
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 3, 2019 1:02:37 GMT
So Sunday, I went to my local thrift store in the morning and in the afternoon I lounged and took a nap before I worked that evening.
Today I went back to the thrift store with a friend and then had a really nice brunch with her. I then bought a new sofa/love seat combo...which I am super excited about because my current one is in bad shape...plus...I spent so much time on that sofa with B that it will be good to get some new furniture.
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Post by ocarina on Sept 3, 2019 19:58:26 GMT
So Sunday, I went to my local thrift store in the morning and in the afternoon I lounged and took a nap before I worked that evening. Today I went back to the thrift store with a friend and then had a really nice brunch with her. I then bought a new sofa/love seat combo...which I am super excited about because my current one is in bad shape...plus...I spent so much time on that sofa with B that it will be good to get some new furniture. All this speaks of you creating a future for yourself - it's really good to see. Small steps produce great changes - i love the idea of new furniture - somehow that's symbolic of letting go of the past - or at least that's how I read it. How are you feeling at the moment tnr9?
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 4, 2019 0:20:00 GMT
So Sunday, I went to my local thrift store in the morning and in the afternoon I lounged and took a nap before I worked that evening. Today I went back to the thrift store with a friend and then had a really nice brunch with her. I then bought a new sofa/love seat combo...which I am super excited about because my current one is in bad shape...plus...I spent so much time on that sofa with B that it will be good to get some new furniture. All this speaks of you creating a future for yourself - it's really good to see. Small steps produce great changes - i love the idea of new furniture - somehow that's symbolic of letting go of the past - or at least that's how I read it. How are you feeling at the moment tnr9 ? I have “moments” that I want to check on B....but I choose not to. My friend, whose boyfriend broke up with her recently....got back in touch and is now motivated to win her back. It has been a real eye opener....here she is...standing her ground, respecting her needs...not twisting herself to meet the needs of this guy and he is the one trying to get her attention. So contrary to what I did. I don’t think it would have worked for me....but it did make me pause.
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Post by tnr9 on Sept 4, 2019 13:17:24 GMT
So..as a confession....I still read stuff here and sometimes go into “magical” and backward thinking....but....I believe this is me trying to fit into B’s life rather than being authentically me...it is still with this perspective that I was the one with the problems because I could not win him over. It is ok....because this is just a well travelled path reappearing at a moment when I am feeling a bit lonely.
Today’s message to myself...if I have to hide or alter my authentic self...it isn’t worth it.
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