Post by sunkissed123 on Sept 11, 2019 21:54:39 GMT
It all started last April when my ex and I met randomly on Tinder. We had everything in common to life goals, hobbies, raising chickens, surfing, our faith, everything.... I wasn't looking for anything when I started talking to him. We immediately clicked, he was super handsome, attractive, talkative...We started talking daily, then moved to IG / Facebook, he began liking all my photos, we started talking from the moment he'd text me Good morning to Good night...we were inseparable talking for a month. Through the time talking, we truly connected on all levels, talked of our upbringings, he said he felt he won the megabucks and how I was magic. How he felt he knew me his entire life.....We finally met and things were amazing. We had an amazing few months...went on dates, he was super sweet to me, would sweet talk...everything...all seemed wonderful. I was a bit Anxious at times when he'd pull back and wish I could have gone back and acted differently.
Before we met, he was a hopeless romantic. He told me on one day that growing up he was a romantic and then all his life he waited to have sex to have marriage....he waited till he was 35 or so because of his faith....got married, and that marriage became abusive. The woman would hit him and verbally abuse him. After not too long, she was pregnant and he ended up leaving her while she was. I heard through the grapevine they tried counseling, everything, nothing worked. Finally he flew the coup.
Since then I know he had one relationship that ended when he said she started bringing laundry over and to me what seemed like she was getting closer. Off he ran.
Since then he hadn't dated...that was a few years..then we met. I asked him the first convo why no gf and he said "I always thought I should be rich in business before having a relationship that perhaps I wouldn't have time for it. But meeting you, seems is different." The entire time we were together he was smitten with me... But never said "I like you or love you"
Fast forward a few months in of dating, he seemed a bit off but planned my birthday to take me off roading and for an ocean adventure. It was great. We swam, we camped, we had sex under the stars....and after a beautiful day/romantic evening where he pulled out all the stops I said "You're a great person, I like you" and he looked at me like a deer in headlights. I didn't even say LOVE. But LIKE. He went into this spiel how he doesn't feel anything, how he feels empty inside.... at one point a few weeks prior a similar convo came up when I said I miss you. He said, I feel like a robot after all that happened. Detached and emotionless..... but did say "you can love me up" so I thought he was trying to work on that but it seemed my comment pushed him over the edge. Driving back suddenly he said" I don't know how much time now I'll have to see you anymore" and I blew up. I said "So you were f*cking me around?" That must have triggered memories of the marriage. We went home and he hugged me, he said don't worry we're ok, not arguing, nothing.... he texted me the next day some photos of his day , like nothing happened.... Then last text of the night he said "I'm going to concentrate on my work now and do my own thing." He was building a new business since one failed years ago when he was in a head on car collision..... I was stunned and asked "Huh?" He said, "You should move on, you deserve better.' I was floored and caught off guard. What?! How could he text me this... After that I tried calling him that night ,no answer, no answering of my email I sent him.... it took him a few days before I received an email back and only bc I texted him saying he was being a bad Christian. He emailed me and said "Everything I've ever said about you has been honest and true, and also about my journey to self discovery. Even if this relationship didn't turn to more always wanted the best for you" THAT WAS IT. What?
After that we stayed on each other's social media. I didn't delete him. He ended up going BACK to the scene where he took me for my bday when he hadn't been there in years. He went camping w his guy friends and posted a selfie of himself looking MISERABLE. Like was that a cry for help?
I commented on the photos and he didn't do anything except like what I said. Two weeks later, he started watching my IG stories religiously...but yet would not talk to me.
I finally called him out on it a few weeks later and said "Why won't you talk to me? Why treat me like you hate me but watch ALL my stories?" He answered "I just can't talk to you right now, it's too soon"
He then would like photos/posts every week or two....but yet, wouldn't talk when I'd try. He'd even like my photos while he was away in Canada on a trip w/ random guy friends. I think he went on that trip bc he had to get away or I learned that later as he told me.
This continued for a few months till he finally caved and made a flirty remark around October. We flirted so much that we ended up making plans for one night. We went and spent the evening on the beach on Halloween. It was amazing. Again, a great evening of conversation, dinner and sleeping together. Over the next few months, we talked every so often on text...he was again hurt so he was bummed but came around to help me literally move all my belongings to a new home. He lifted, lugged, carried EVERYTHING and worked ALL day with a cast on his leg bc my mover fell through and I had no one to help. That day, he was super sweet, he would kiss me in every room of the old house, then the new house...at the end of the day, he asked me for a kiss goodbye and we kissed...all seemed good.
Afterwards he had a bad cold and was being a bit distant. My anxiety kicked in and that's why I texted him that long message saying I need you. He responded back "I'm not good at that stuff
" and again, that was it. Wouldn't talk to me....pushed me away and we did not speak for months...
Finally in the spring, he came around again and eased up. We started seeing another and slowly he was opening back up again. Every single time we were together was amazing and awesome. Good conversation, everything was in line. Through the time apart, I worked on myself and became more secure attachment. I've been easy breezy this entire spring. I ended up going through a cancer scare again this past June and he asked to see me before he left for his month long trip in Indonesia. He prayed over me, stayed with me, talked w/ me, asked me to update him....everything. was super loving. We had sex again before he left....it was a great evening... We laughed, everything. Even the next day before his flight, he texted me all day until his plane took off.
He was on a boat for 2 weeks w/ no service and told me to update him however I can on my health. As soon as he got to land, he sent me a text but had bad service and we started messaging each other on facebook. We talked daily or almost daily for 2 weeks. He talked of his daily happenings, what we did in the past in terms of good memories which he all brought up, flirted w/ me, sent me photos, sent me in detail how he wish I was there waking up with him, gathered SEA-SHELLS for me since I make jewelry (I mean who does that) and asked to take me to dinner for my birthday when he got home. He ended up landing, texting me, asking to take me out 2 days later. Was flirting etc... The day before, he made plans he said "You can sleep over and stay the night with me at my house" since his mother was away.... We never "SLEPT" together.....
Fast forward to my birthday evening. It was great. He called me beautiful and kissed me as soon as I came outside, we had fun, great conversation the entire night, he seemed so light and upbeat, funny, romantic...held my hand when walking, kissed me when he could. The dinner was super expensive, kinda stuffy romantic place where people go for big occasions here. It was cute. He had a rose on the table in the restaurant, he took pics of me...We drank a a really expensive bottle of wine...He even went as far as pulling all the chairs out ,opening all doors, and even buttering my bread!! Who does that!? lol We laughed and listened to 80's music driving back to his house... He sat me down, gave me the gifts he brought me from Indonesia, it was super cute. We kissed and made love in the living room....then his room and he said I have everything for you in case you want to take a shower. He had a towel, a tooth brush, everything so adorable and set up.
It made me feel really special.
I couldn't sleep most of the night and neither could he. We both tossed and turned and laughed bc he said he wasn't used to sleeping w/ someone and neither was I. He even farted and we laughed more.
In the morning, he was in a rush and we were short on time bc I had to get off to work and he had to pick up his daughter to drive her to school. We ended up having sex again. He even ran outside to his truck to get a condom. It wasn't like I was forcing him.
He kissed me goodbye and I texted him later that day that I left the leftovers in his house accidentally and he replied laughing saying "Score!" He was happy w/ the leftover food.
Two days later I texted him to tell him I found some random chickens...he replied back enthusiastically..... and then I made a flirtatious comment.... He just replied "Oooo la la"
Another few days pass and he texts me out of the blue about his busy day then says "I've been thinking, I've been getting more convicted being I've been heading back to church and bible study again, what do you think of being platonic" I replied back saying sounded good and asked what it meant. He said "Just be non sexual w/ each other. I want to honor you and god" Ok cool.
Here I am thinking nothing changed... A few days go by and I ask how he is... He said "Slammed w/ work and the kid" I asked if we could talk on the phone and we finally did after a few days. He didn't give any indication of anything and said nothing from that night made him decide to be platonic and that it was just a religious thing. I thought that meant we were still seeing each other. Then a few days go by and I did reach out because I'm like huh? He writes me and says "I'm just going to buckle down and focus really on work and my daughter". I said I respect you and realize you need time, told him I'm not dating anyone else...and he replied back "Yea I'm going to keep things simple and just work"
Like huh? What the heck happened? Yesterday I messaged him since it was a month since that last letter of communication btwn us...He had liked two photos of me the night of that last communication and then 2 weeks ago left a comment on one of my facebook photos... so yesterday I text him since it's been a month and i said "Hey hope all is well, maybe we can get together and surf / hike sometime. Btw I ended up meeting your brother randomly a few weeks ago." And he responded "Hey sorry been busy, don't think I will be able to. Keep living the dream."
Like WHAT happened?! This entire situation has been so confusing. I responded back to his text saying, "that's it?" and wrote him a facebook letter asking what changed or happened that he suddenly doesn't want to see me? That wasn't what he asked in his text after my bday. Like I said, it was all awesome. When I did meet his twin brother RANDOMLY a few weeks ago....which had to have been a god send bc it was too accidental, he said his brother is like that, and how he doesn't even have a relationship w/ him or alot of people in his family. Its like he pushes people away and only trusts in GOD.
Could he be freaking out because we got SO close and he doesn't want that now? I feel like I'm the enemy to be honest.
If anyone could share some insight, that would be amazing!
Before we met, he was a hopeless romantic. He told me on one day that growing up he was a romantic and then all his life he waited to have sex to have marriage....he waited till he was 35 or so because of his faith....got married, and that marriage became abusive. The woman would hit him and verbally abuse him. After not too long, she was pregnant and he ended up leaving her while she was. I heard through the grapevine they tried counseling, everything, nothing worked. Finally he flew the coup.
Since then I know he had one relationship that ended when he said she started bringing laundry over and to me what seemed like she was getting closer. Off he ran.
Since then he hadn't dated...that was a few years..then we met. I asked him the first convo why no gf and he said "I always thought I should be rich in business before having a relationship that perhaps I wouldn't have time for it. But meeting you, seems is different." The entire time we were together he was smitten with me... But never said "I like you or love you"
Fast forward a few months in of dating, he seemed a bit off but planned my birthday to take me off roading and for an ocean adventure. It was great. We swam, we camped, we had sex under the stars....and after a beautiful day/romantic evening where he pulled out all the stops I said "You're a great person, I like you" and he looked at me like a deer in headlights. I didn't even say LOVE. But LIKE. He went into this spiel how he doesn't feel anything, how he feels empty inside.... at one point a few weeks prior a similar convo came up when I said I miss you. He said, I feel like a robot after all that happened. Detached and emotionless..... but did say "you can love me up" so I thought he was trying to work on that but it seemed my comment pushed him over the edge. Driving back suddenly he said" I don't know how much time now I'll have to see you anymore" and I blew up. I said "So you were f*cking me around?" That must have triggered memories of the marriage. We went home and he hugged me, he said don't worry we're ok, not arguing, nothing.... he texted me the next day some photos of his day , like nothing happened.... Then last text of the night he said "I'm going to concentrate on my work now and do my own thing." He was building a new business since one failed years ago when he was in a head on car collision..... I was stunned and asked "Huh?" He said, "You should move on, you deserve better.' I was floored and caught off guard. What?! How could he text me this... After that I tried calling him that night ,no answer, no answering of my email I sent him.... it took him a few days before I received an email back and only bc I texted him saying he was being a bad Christian. He emailed me and said "Everything I've ever said about you has been honest and true, and also about my journey to self discovery. Even if this relationship didn't turn to more always wanted the best for you" THAT WAS IT. What?
After that we stayed on each other's social media. I didn't delete him. He ended up going BACK to the scene where he took me for my bday when he hadn't been there in years. He went camping w his guy friends and posted a selfie of himself looking MISERABLE. Like was that a cry for help?
I commented on the photos and he didn't do anything except like what I said. Two weeks later, he started watching my IG stories religiously...but yet would not talk to me.
I finally called him out on it a few weeks later and said "Why won't you talk to me? Why treat me like you hate me but watch ALL my stories?" He answered "I just can't talk to you right now, it's too soon"
He then would like photos/posts every week or two....but yet, wouldn't talk when I'd try. He'd even like my photos while he was away in Canada on a trip w/ random guy friends. I think he went on that trip bc he had to get away or I learned that later as he told me.
This continued for a few months till he finally caved and made a flirty remark around October. We flirted so much that we ended up making plans for one night. We went and spent the evening on the beach on Halloween. It was amazing. Again, a great evening of conversation, dinner and sleeping together. Over the next few months, we talked every so often on text...he was again hurt so he was bummed but came around to help me literally move all my belongings to a new home. He lifted, lugged, carried EVERYTHING and worked ALL day with a cast on his leg bc my mover fell through and I had no one to help. That day, he was super sweet, he would kiss me in every room of the old house, then the new house...at the end of the day, he asked me for a kiss goodbye and we kissed...all seemed good.
Afterwards he had a bad cold and was being a bit distant. My anxiety kicked in and that's why I texted him that long message saying I need you. He responded back "I'm not good at that stuff
" and again, that was it. Wouldn't talk to me....pushed me away and we did not speak for months... Finally in the spring, he came around again and eased up. We started seeing another and slowly he was opening back up again. Every single time we were together was amazing and awesome. Good conversation, everything was in line. Through the time apart, I worked on myself and became more secure attachment. I've been easy breezy this entire spring. I ended up going through a cancer scare again this past June and he asked to see me before he left for his month long trip in Indonesia. He prayed over me, stayed with me, talked w/ me, asked me to update him....everything. was super loving. We had sex again before he left....it was a great evening... We laughed, everything. Even the next day before his flight, he texted me all day until his plane took off.
He was on a boat for 2 weeks w/ no service and told me to update him however I can on my health. As soon as he got to land, he sent me a text but had bad service and we started messaging each other on facebook. We talked daily or almost daily for 2 weeks. He talked of his daily happenings, what we did in the past in terms of good memories which he all brought up, flirted w/ me, sent me photos, sent me in detail how he wish I was there waking up with him, gathered SEA-SHELLS for me since I make jewelry (I mean who does that) and asked to take me to dinner for my birthday when he got home. He ended up landing, texting me, asking to take me out 2 days later. Was flirting etc... The day before, he made plans he said "You can sleep over and stay the night with me at my house" since his mother was away.... We never "SLEPT" together.....
Fast forward to my birthday evening. It was great. He called me beautiful and kissed me as soon as I came outside, we had fun, great conversation the entire night, he seemed so light and upbeat, funny, romantic...held my hand when walking, kissed me when he could. The dinner was super expensive, kinda stuffy romantic place where people go for big occasions here. It was cute. He had a rose on the table in the restaurant, he took pics of me...We drank a a really expensive bottle of wine...He even went as far as pulling all the chairs out ,opening all doors, and even buttering my bread!! Who does that!? lol We laughed and listened to 80's music driving back to his house... He sat me down, gave me the gifts he brought me from Indonesia, it was super cute. We kissed and made love in the living room....then his room and he said I have everything for you in case you want to take a shower. He had a towel, a tooth brush, everything so adorable and set up.
It made me feel really special.
I couldn't sleep most of the night and neither could he. We both tossed and turned and laughed bc he said he wasn't used to sleeping w/ someone and neither was I. He even farted and we laughed more.
In the morning, he was in a rush and we were short on time bc I had to get off to work and he had to pick up his daughter to drive her to school. We ended up having sex again. He even ran outside to his truck to get a condom. It wasn't like I was forcing him.
He kissed me goodbye and I texted him later that day that I left the leftovers in his house accidentally and he replied laughing saying "Score!" He was happy w/ the leftover food.
Two days later I texted him to tell him I found some random chickens...he replied back enthusiastically..... and then I made a flirtatious comment.... He just replied "Oooo la la"
Another few days pass and he texts me out of the blue about his busy day then says "I've been thinking, I've been getting more convicted being I've been heading back to church and bible study again, what do you think of being platonic" I replied back saying sounded good and asked what it meant. He said "Just be non sexual w/ each other. I want to honor you and god" Ok cool.
Here I am thinking nothing changed... A few days go by and I ask how he is... He said "Slammed w/ work and the kid" I asked if we could talk on the phone and we finally did after a few days. He didn't give any indication of anything and said nothing from that night made him decide to be platonic and that it was just a religious thing. I thought that meant we were still seeing each other. Then a few days go by and I did reach out because I'm like huh? He writes me and says "I'm just going to buckle down and focus really on work and my daughter". I said I respect you and realize you need time, told him I'm not dating anyone else...and he replied back "Yea I'm going to keep things simple and just work"
Like huh? What the heck happened? Yesterday I messaged him since it was a month since that last letter of communication btwn us...He had liked two photos of me the night of that last communication and then 2 weeks ago left a comment on one of my facebook photos... so yesterday I text him since it's been a month and i said "Hey hope all is well, maybe we can get together and surf / hike sometime. Btw I ended up meeting your brother randomly a few weeks ago." And he responded "Hey sorry been busy, don't think I will be able to. Keep living the dream."
Like WHAT happened?! This entire situation has been so confusing. I responded back to his text saying, "that's it?" and wrote him a facebook letter asking what changed or happened that he suddenly doesn't want to see me? That wasn't what he asked in his text after my bday. Like I said, it was all awesome. When I did meet his twin brother RANDOMLY a few weeks ago....which had to have been a god send bc it was too accidental, he said his brother is like that, and how he doesn't even have a relationship w/ him or alot of people in his family. Its like he pushes people away and only trusts in GOD.
Could he be freaking out because we got SO close and he doesn't want that now? I feel like I'm the enemy to be honest.
If anyone could share some insight, that would be amazing!
