Post by bohemianraspberry on Nov 21, 2019 11:15:36 GMT
I must share with you this creepy story that a friend of mine just experienced.
Being a single mother with a full-time job, she didn't prioritice men until her daughter was old enough to attend school, this fall.
This is a smart, strong and independent woman, highly educated, with a leader job in the government.
In July she registered on Tinder, and soon she got in contact with an interesting man, A.
I stepped in as a babysitter on several occations, so she could go out to date A. They met at public places, but also had sex and sleepovers at his place.
Very soon she complained to me that something was off with this guy. He was slow to respond to messages, cancelled plans and didn't seem very romanic. His small apartment looked like a temporary dorm. He talked very little about himself, but asked a lot of questions about her.
Armored with my newfound knowledge about attachment theory, I told her that A might be avoidant and emotionally unavailable. Sent her some links to articles.
So these last 4 months we have confined each other with thoughts about dating these avoidant men, wondering if they finally would be ready to commit.
Yesterday my friend called me, she was both furious, shocked and embarrased.
Earlier that day she once again texted to me that something is off, she had a bad gut feeling.
She had wondered way she didn't find A on Facebook or Google. But he had mentioned he was active in a political party (same as her), in a local organisation in another part of the country.
She researched this organisation yesterday, and suddenly she saw his face on a group photo. And with another name connected to it.
Suddenly she realized that his name wasn't A, it was T. He had a high political position in that part of the country that required him to live there.
For 4 months she has been dating a person who was under false identity. He had used a different first name, last name, address and phone number than his real identity. Probably he is married too. She found photos of him with two kids, a girl and a boy, while he had told her he had two daughters.
She found his real phone number and sent him a text telling him that he was busted, and what she thought about that kind of behaviour.
He texted back asking where she had found that information.
I am shocked. Noone would have imagined that a date could be so sick and cynical.
Luckily, she is a strong woman, so she can take it. I am so sorry for her, finally being able to meet a man she like, just to realise she has been waiting for months for someone who turns out to be a complete lie.
Being a single mother with a full-time job, she didn't prioritice men until her daughter was old enough to attend school, this fall.
This is a smart, strong and independent woman, highly educated, with a leader job in the government.
In July she registered on Tinder, and soon she got in contact with an interesting man, A.
I stepped in as a babysitter on several occations, so she could go out to date A. They met at public places, but also had sex and sleepovers at his place.
Very soon she complained to me that something was off with this guy. He was slow to respond to messages, cancelled plans and didn't seem very romanic. His small apartment looked like a temporary dorm. He talked very little about himself, but asked a lot of questions about her.
Armored with my newfound knowledge about attachment theory, I told her that A might be avoidant and emotionally unavailable. Sent her some links to articles.
So these last 4 months we have confined each other with thoughts about dating these avoidant men, wondering if they finally would be ready to commit.
Yesterday my friend called me, she was both furious, shocked and embarrased.
Earlier that day she once again texted to me that something is off, she had a bad gut feeling.
She had wondered way she didn't find A on Facebook or Google. But he had mentioned he was active in a political party (same as her), in a local organisation in another part of the country.
She researched this organisation yesterday, and suddenly she saw his face on a group photo. And with another name connected to it.
Suddenly she realized that his name wasn't A, it was T. He had a high political position in that part of the country that required him to live there.
For 4 months she has been dating a person who was under false identity. He had used a different first name, last name, address and phone number than his real identity. Probably he is married too. She found photos of him with two kids, a girl and a boy, while he had told her he had two daughters.
She found his real phone number and sent him a text telling him that he was busted, and what she thought about that kind of behaviour.
He texted back asking where she had found that information.
I am shocked. Noone would have imagined that a date could be so sick and cynical.
Luckily, she is a strong woman, so she can take it. I am so sorry for her, finally being able to meet a man she like, just to realise she has been waiting for months for someone who turns out to be a complete lie.
