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Post by Dualcitizen on Jan 18, 2020 10:57:24 GMT
I got this reason too with my ex FA. He later admitted he lost feelings after conflict because he felt unsupported by me. A secure person would not write someone off that easily. This is classic FA. A secure person wouldn’t let it get to the stage where it became a problem. They front it and do something about it. As an FA, I expect nothing from anyone. I get disturbed when I find that I’m dependent upon someone. So I wouldn’t attribute the unsupported excuse to FA attachment. I’d say there’s something else under that. This is an interesting paradigm Mrob. My ex, literally refuses help, tries to be independent with others generally, BUT, is totally dependent on her parents for support monetarily and a few other tidbits around the house (yardwork etc). Will not accept help from other people (I literally helped her clean up after a party she had at her place one time, she told me not to come around to help the next day, I came around anyway, as I knew it was a big job, she thanked me after. She just never ever wants anyone to help) She's definitely a codependent type, a "Fawn" people pleaser, will help randoms when she is already busy and taxed with her workload, further running herself down clearly. Just an interesting paradigm I thought I'd share. |
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Post by annieb on Jan 18, 2020 15:45:28 GMT
This was one of the reasons I got. Suddenly lost feelings for me and he didnt understand why. 🙄 I got this reason too with my ex FA. He later admitted he lost feelings after conflict because he felt unsupported by me. A secure person would not write someone off that easily. This is classic FA. My DA was feeling “unsupported” by me and picked arguments literally every few days. When he picked the last one I argued with him (I had had enough) and he broke up with me. So I do believe that they are looking for reasons to be “unsupported”. I was sick of his accusations and I really didn’t want to placate so I let the relationship die at that point. |
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Post by amber on Jan 18, 2020 21:28:08 GMT
I got this reason too with my ex FA. He later admitted he lost feelings after conflict because he felt unsupported by me. A secure person would not write someone off that easily. This is classic FA. My DA was feeling “unsupported” by me and picked arguments literally every few days. When he picked the last one I argued with him (I had had enough) and he broke up with me. So I do believe that they are looking for reasons to be “unsupported”. I was sick of his accusations and I really didn’t want to placate so I let the relationship die at that point. I guess there’s a self fulfilling prophecy going on there... like they expect to be unsupported so they create that. Bit like unconsciously they expect to be abandoned so they leave before you do |
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