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Post by Helsbells on Jan 12, 2020 17:31:43 GMT
I’m five months out of a relationship with DA, whom I met online and one thing I’m incapable of doing is going online again to date. I’ve downloaded the app a couple times and erased it within 10-15 minutes. So, if I meet someone it will most likely be in real life. And I’m ok with that. I’m just going to live my life and if anyone crosses my path in real life and asks me out. I will go out. Otherwise I will stay single. I don’t know if this is avoidant behavior. I am fearful avoidant, but I’m testing secure at the moment. [br Not sure of your age hun but as a mature female I feel the same. I just feel it's better to go about my life in a natrual state and see what lands in my path. One experience with an avoidant man I met on line is enough for me. Although I'm sure you can still come across them in the real world. I felt better single than most days I was around his vibe. Best wishes. |
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Post by annieb on Jan 12, 2020 17:38:57 GMT
I’m five months out of a relationship with DA, whom I met online and one thing I’m incapable of doing is going online again to date. I’ve downloaded the app a couple times and erased it within 10-15 minutes. So, if I meet someone it will most likely be in real life. And I’m ok with that. I’m just going to live my life and if anyone crosses my path in real life and asks me out. I will go out. Otherwise I will stay single. I don’t know if this is avoidant behavior. I am fearful avoidant, but I’m testing secure at the moment. [br Not sure of your age hun but as a mature female I feel the same. I just feel it's better to go about my life in a natrual state and see what lands in my path. One experience with an avoidant man I met on line is enough for me. Although I'm sure you can still come across them in the real world. I felt better single than most days I was around his vibe. Best wishes. Thank you for your message. I’m about to turn 40 in two weeks. I actually think my chances meeting someone in real life are much better at this point because i think I am a vibrant 40 year old, and online I’m sure most men would filter me out based on age. I agree that there is no way I will go through another experience with an avoidant. It literally almost killed me. |
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Post by Helsbells on Jan 12, 2020 17:56:46 GMT
[br Not sure of your age hun but as a mature female I feel the same. I just feel it's better to go about my life in a natrual state and see what lands in my path. One experience with an avoidant man I met on line is enough for me. Although I'm sure you can still come across them in the real world. I felt better single than most days I was around his vibe. Best wishes. Thank you for your message. I’m about to turn 40 in two weeks. I actually think my chances meeting someone in real life are much better at this point because i think I am a vibrant 40 year old, and online I’m sure most men would filter me out based on age. I agree that there is no way I will go through another experience with an avoidant. It literally almost killed me. Mine was just a user and has already moved back onto the women that will take him back everytime he has left me. They are only looking for ego boosts and never do work to change themselves. You deserve so much better. Stuff on line dating you are a beautiful mature lady who deserve a beautiful mature available man to have an amazing journey with x |
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Post by tnr9 on Jan 12, 2020 18:49:19 GMT
I’m five months out of a relationship with DA, whom I met online and one thing I’m incapable of doing is going online again to date. I’ve downloaded the app a couple times and erased it within 10-15 minutes. So, if I meet someone it will most likely be in real life. And I’m ok with that. I’m just going to live my life and if anyone crosses my path in real life and asks me out. I will go out. Otherwise I will stay single. I don’t know if this is avoidant behavior. I am fearful avoidant, but I’m testing secure at the moment. I won’t do online dating either....I fall too easily without knowing enough information. Honestly...if B is my last boyfriend...then I am ok with it. Sure, I would like a partner...but i am not actively seeking one. |
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Post by mrob on Jan 12, 2020 23:14:26 GMT
Thank you for your message. I’m about to turn 40 in two weeks. I actually think my chances meeting someone in real life are much better at this point because i think I am a vibrant 40 year old, and online I’m sure most men would filter me out based on age. I agree that there is no way I will go through another experience with an avoidant. It literally almost killed me. Mine was just a user and has already moved back onto the women that will take him back everytime he has left me. They are only looking for ego boosts and never do work to change themselves. You deserve so much better. Stuff on line dating you are a beautiful mature lady who deserve a beautiful mature available man to have an amazing journey with x “They”. “Never” Lovely generalisation there. It takes two to tango. |
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Post by annieb on Jan 13, 2020 15:21:03 GMT
Thank you for your message. I’m about to turn 40 in two weeks. I actually think my chances meeting someone in real life are much better at this point because i think I am a vibrant 40 year old, and online I’m sure most men would filter me out based on age. I agree that there is no way I will go through another experience with an avoidant. It literally almost killed me. Mine was just a user and has already moved back onto the women that will take him back everytime he has left me. They are only looking for ego boosts and never do work to change themselves. You deserve so much better. Stuff on line dating you are a beautiful mature lady who deserve a beautiful mature available man to have an amazing journey with x |
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Post by annieb on Jan 13, 2020 15:25:09 GMT
Thank you for your message. I’m about to turn 40 in two weeks. I actually think my chances meeting someone in real life are much better at this point because i think I am a vibrant 40 year old, and online I’m sure most men would filter me out based on age. I agree that there is no way I will go through another experience with an avoidant. It literally almost killed me. Mine was just a user and has already moved back onto the women that will take him back everytime he has left me. They are only looking for ego boosts and never do work to change themselves. You deserve so much better. Stuff on line dating you are a beautiful mature lady who deserve a beautiful mature available man to have an amazing journey with x Mine was a user and definitely had narcissistic traits. He was always only concerned with what I can provide instead of who I am. He only picked up on the negatives and hurled them back at me as criticisms. I’m already a fearful avoidant and this relationship really did a number on me. I go in and out of feeling healed and feeling angry, so I still have a ways to go. I was in therapy, but my insurance changed and now I need to find a new therapist. These few weeks without my regular session, I started spiraling down. |
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Post by Helsbells on Jan 13, 2020 16:55:20 GMT
Mine was just a user and has already moved back onto the women that will take him back everytime he has left me. They are only looking for ego boosts and never do work to change themselves. You deserve so much better. Stuff on line dating you are a beautiful mature lady who deserve a beautiful mature available man to have an amazing journey with x “They”. “Never” Lovely generalisation there. It takes two to tango. Sorry about the wording mrob. Somethings go beyond attachment and hurt. I stand corrected. |
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Post by Helsbells on Jan 13, 2020 17:00:50 GMT
Mine was just a user and has already moved back onto the women that will take him back everytime he has left me. They are only looking for ego boosts and never do work to change themselves. You deserve so much better. Stuff on line dating you are a beautiful mature lady who deserve a beautiful mature available man to have an amazing journey with x Mine was a user and definitely had narcissistic traits. He was always only concerned with what I can provide instead of who I am. He only picked up on the negatives and hurled them back at me as criticisms. I’m already a fearful avoidant and this relationship really did a number on me. I go in and out of feeling healed and feeling angry, so I still have a ways to go. I was in therapy, but my insurance changed and now I need to find a new therapist. These few weeks without my regular session, I started spiraling down. I am sorry you were treated so badly. I am wondering if my ex was more Narc than FA as some of his behaviours seem a lot more hurtful than what I read on these boards. I to am more FA he made me more on the anxious side but I still have a moral compass and know how to treat a fellow human being. Just trying to let go of my hurt now as I know I allowed this to happen to me. I think maybe because he is a drinker he might do stuff whilst under the influence. I dont want to be angry with him so I'm just accepting it is what it is and learn from my experience. Hope your ok. |
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