..and two weeks later I miss her, and am doing everything not to contact her. Longing, or what! I try to think of all the crap things, but invariably get pulled back, doing all the things I’ve read here over the years. “If I’d just shut my mouth..” Or not made x mistake. Just painful and unremitting.
This is why I guarded myself for many years and tried to get myself into a position to never miss anyone.
I hope the circular thinking subsides soon.
You are doing great,...gosh, I can’t even count the number of times I end up “missing” B still....the familiarity, the parts that worked, the ability to focus on someone else and feel somewhat safe. I just let those feelings roll over me...acknowledge how lonely it can be at times. I am grateful that he is engaged...no more stories of possible outcomes to distract me from dealing with myself, no more checking his page or instant messenger. Just keep coming here because we all know what you are going through.