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Post by annieb on May 26, 2020 15:04:20 GMT
To break it down very unscientifically, I have two states of mind, one is where I lose my center and it kind if floats alway from me and that is a miserable sorry state of addiction. This is usually triggered by my “qualifier” to a certain degree. And I also have the calm centered state, where nothing can bother me and I’m happy and self loving. And the darnest thing is I have absolutely no idea how to snap out of the non-centered state. I’ve had some success with catching an anxious loop of thoughts and immediately and correcting that. But this state I’m describing isn’t that, this is kind of a state of emptiness. It’s not as bad as it used to be, because now I’m aware of it, and I used to be in denial, but I still can’t get out of the non-centered state. If anyone can relate to this, maybe you have some pointers:) Just looked this up - what I’m experiencing is a form of disassociation. First things listed are breathing exercises and yoga:) Cognitively I know all this, but I can’t snap out of it in the moment. |
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Post by annieb on May 26, 2020 15:05:49 GMT
I’m not even sure, but maybe a more comprehensive program similar to what addicts have, a rehab of sorts. I’m currently treated by an addiction treatment specialist psychiatrist (I’ve never been addicted to a substance, but my addiction isn’t any less painful is how I like to put it), and my diagnosis is ADHD and depression, and my meds are all dopamine centered. My therapist is a regular talk therapist without specialty, but very experienced. I’ve been to CoDA meetings years ago and I remember those helped. Obviously it’s hard to not have any relationships, so we can’t go cold turkey. But that’s what makes it more sinister. I do wonder often about a brain chemical imbalance and it’s impact to an already insecurely attached individual. Had I not received treatment from a very astute doctor...where would I be? Absolutely! Thank god for good doctors and I am so very thankful for my psychiatrist. And on the surface you’d think I’m the happiest bubbliest person with no ailments:) |
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Post by anne12 on May 26, 2020 15:34:50 GMT
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Post by annieb on May 26, 2020 15:46:03 GMT
Thanks anne12, I read somewhere years ago that ADHD can be trauma related, develop from trauma. That approach made sense. I didn’t have a classic ADHD as a young child. |
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Post by kittygirl on May 26, 2020 18:10:28 GMT
Hey tnr9: thought you might find this interesting. I know you said you don't just "move on quickly" and that makes you skeptical that you are a love addict, but according to the love addict communities there are several different "subtypes" of love addicts, and one of them is "the torchbearer" which is someone who holds on for a really long time after a breakup. I don't know how scientific this all is but maybe something to think about? I don't think you have to necessarily bounce from one person to the next in order to be an addict, particularly if the fantasy and the rumination play a larger part in your addiction. This is more info from the love addiction forum: |
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Post by iz42 on May 26, 2020 21:14:10 GMT
If we all were to seek addiction treatment for attachment disorders, what would that look like? Would it replace therapy or occur in conjunction with it? I know about SLAA but maybe this is something I should look into more seriously. I didn't mean to be defensive before, I'm honestly trying to understand. I’m not even sure, but maybe a more comprehensive program similar to what addicts have, a rehab of sorts. I’m currently treated by an addiction treatment specialist psychiatrist (I’ve never been addicted to a substance, but my addiction isn’t any less painful is how I like to put it), and my diagnosis is ADHD and depression, and my meds are all dopamine centered. My therapist is a regular talk therapist without specialty, but very experienced. I’ve been to CoDA meetings years ago and I remember those helped. Obviously it’s hard to not have any relationships, so we can’t go cold turkey. But that’s what makes it more sinister. I'm not sure it's more sinister... people die from substance abuse. I guess you could argue that people die from codependent relationships when their physically abusive partners murder them, but this seems different. I see what you're saying though. |
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Post by tnr9 on May 30, 2020 4:41:18 GMT
Hey tnr9 : thought you might find this interesting. I know you said you don't just "move on quickly" and that makes you skeptical that you are a love addict, but according to the love addict communities there are several different "subtypes" of love addicts, and one of them is "the torchbearer" which is someone who holds on for a really long time after a breakup. I don't know how scientific this all is but maybe something to think about? I don't think you have to necessarily bounce from one person to the next in order to be an addict, particularly if the fantasy and the rumination play a larger part in your addiction. This is more info from the love addiction forum: Hey kitty girl.....I think, pre medication, this was (at times) me. I certainly have held a torch for a number of crushes and exes and I do tend to fall very fast. Post medication, I feel I am actually grieving B....what he symbolized and what I feel I have lost. There are so many aspects of me that got tied into this..real for me but not for him relationship. Thoughts about deserving, thoughts about being good enough, thoughts about lack. Tonight I had a good cry....I missed lying next to him, my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and breathing. It was one of my absolute favorite things....I felt so at peace in those moments, did not matter how stressed my day was. But I had to acknowledge the times I would go to bed and he would sit in the main room and watch hours of Netflix and I felt so very alone. I wanted too much, he wanted not enough and we could, on occasion, find ourselves in the middle...but it happened for such short periods of time and then we would go back to being needy and avoidant, fearing abandonment and engulfment. So I don’t really hold a torch anymore....I am just going through a prolonged grieving period. |
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