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Post by mixedsyles on Jul 15, 2020 11:21:38 GMT
Brokennelson- Oh, and fwiw, I think you’re FA, not DA. DA wouldn’t yearn or feel the loneliness. At least not quite as intense. They typically don’t give a fuck about intimacy. At least discernibly. I’m not sure about that. I’m a FA and while dating a DA I learned that he did want intimacy and connection and he felt lonely sometimes too. I think he felt more lonely than I did. |
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Post by tnr9 on Jul 24, 2020 10:17:08 GMT
Btw, I have discarded my share of what I deemed “broken toys”. As nicely as I could. Not always though. A lot of times I entered relationships knowing they were broken toys I’d probably only be play with for a little while. Maybe learn something from them. Now, my thought process was never that nefarious, but sure, I’ve entered relationships that I knew would go nowhere. I never told them I loved them, but I, internally, wanted to see where it would go, and maybe I’d feel differently after some time. And I’ve even flipped on some women to actually get into them. Until, I have to actually face being vulnerable. In which case, I’m probably going to lose them, because I suck!!!! And all that self loathing crap. Shits hard. If you know me, you won’t like me, so I’m going to punt on that ever happening. And in my ex wife’s case, I punted for 14 years. How she took that, I’ll never know. I got away with having no sex. And would get mad at her for her sexual needs. And tell her I wasn’t a robot. And that I didn’t understand why I didn’t want sex. Which was true. But I have no idea how i got away with that. And how I don’t know how to overcome that part of my life. And how I may get to a point where I can open up freely and see things as completely team oriented, but I can’t control my libido. Fuck. And so I carry that concern about even trying. And how do you have that conversation while dating?? That’ll be the last time I see her. Anyhow, yeah, I’ve treated women like broken toys. Regrettably. But yet I feel like the broken toy. And it’s because I feel like a broken toy that I treat others like one. And they are the ones who can legitimitly claim broken toy treatment. Not I. Wow...just wow....thank you for sharing this because I think the “broken toy”...maybe “broken winged bird” is how B saw me initially because I have it written in my journal that he once told me that he thought he could show me love and boost my confidence (this was during his first attempt at breaking up with me). I did not get that at all....still truly don’t....why do that to someone.....starry down a path of trying to give someone love and affection, but then pull back...and end it...and think that is ok? (That bit wasn’t directed at you...it is a bit rhetorical because I am starting to access anger at how things went). |
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Post by dhali on Jul 26, 2020 16:50:42 GMT
It’s not conscious. And is deeply rooted in no one would take me anyhow. It’s also how we culturally date. Trying people on
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