Is there a chance?? Advice needed (Long post) Sept 28, 2020 21:43:17 GMT via mobile serenity and dhali like this
Post by amber on Sept 28, 2020 21:43:17 GMT
I guess I usually associate love bombing with anxious attachment and Narcissism, rather than avoidance. One of the reason avoidants appealed to me is they go so slow, were happy to be friends for a long time before deciding to date, and don't love bomb. During the honeymoon they felt consistent and intense, but not full of excessive charm, clinginess, and flattery. When they say they love you, its a major act of vulnerability and happens very rarely.
But you're right, I likely wanted a particular kind of validation. Not from the ego (I don't think?), but more from the wounded child within. Avoidants make something childlike and joyful light up in me, and were so difficult to detach from when the relationship became bad. Narcs have the same affect on me.
Both of these types are people I will avoid in future. I learned about Narcs much younger, and steering clear was enough. Avoidants have been a new type, and I don't hate them the way I despise narcs. But I wouldn't date one ever again, now that I know what these relationships become.
Fearful avoidants definelty love bomb. At least some of them anyway.