Sexual incompatibility Sept 15, 2020 17:08:12 GMT
Post by wolfmother on Sept 15, 2020 17:08:12 GMT
I broke up with my partner of 1.7 years the other day, and I am feeling so bereft.
We broke up due to an erosion of trust over time because he had made comments that made me feel like sexually, I was inadequate, and he had needs that I felt were out of my comfort zone. He came to our relationship having had two relationships where he pretty much got to live out his kinks every time... which, I'm open-minded but that regular expectation feels uncomfortable for me, and who even knows if I want to commit to sex like that on a regular basis later down the line? I really tried to compromise and busted my own boundaries in the process trying to meet his needs, and he tried to make me feel better and make out he didn't need those things, but the damage to my self esteem and ability to trust in the longevity of the relationship seems like it was already done and maybe irreversible. He had already said he didn't know if he could be with someone if he couldn't do certain things to them. He already told me who he is. Last time we spoke about it, he said that connection was the most important thing to me and that he was having the best sex with me. I said that he could find someone else that wanted what he does who he also connects with. He said something along the lines of the fact that he could meet someone else he's more sexually compatible with but he'd rather have what we have... but I don't want to feel like a compromise.
From the first time we slept together, it just seemed like he was pretty selfish in the bedroom in a way where he expected certain things, and regularly. I don't think that's how it should work. And now it just feels too late, and like there's this mistrust that's seeped in.
I feel desperately sad... he was my best friend. We are now no contact.
Has anyone else gone through anything like this before?
I'm so god damn sad.