getting my stuff back / advice on dealing with my ex FA Jan 9, 2021 8:47:33 GMT
Post by KAI on Jan 9, 2021 8:47:33 GMT
another step to take to get closure in this weird post breakup situation
(short term relationship, sudden breakup after an incredible beginning and she went back right away to her bipolar ex which she expressed almost hating while we were together)
GETTING MY STUFF BACK
we didn't speak much since the breakup (3 weeks ago), we connected 3 times. Every time it was me : first time i tried to test the waters (i wanted to reconcile, i didn't know about the ex), she answered expressing no regrets whatsoever concerning the breakup, and she mentionned giving my stuff back. I proposed we could meet in january, she said yes.
I sent a text for her b-day, and found out right afterwards about the ex. She just said "thanks".
Now 2 days ago, i contacted her again to set a date and get my stuff back. At this point, i know that this is hopeless, she 's a walking emotional wreck, so i just want my stuff back and auf wiedersehen. I proposed by message that i could drop by her place next thursday as i would be around. 3 hours later, she replied, and asked what time i wanted to come to see if it was manageable for her (always without any feeling, in a very cold way although my msg was friendly), i answered "around 5.30" in the same tone one hour later.
She stopped replying. Okay.
So that is the first thing. She was always very responsive and respectful while we were together, and now hse is treating me like a piece of trash.
Now the thing is she also owes me money. Not a lot, like 70 euros (about 85 dollars), but it's for the principle, I won't let it go. I lent her that money all along the relationship, because she didn't have cash and i did, so i was paying for her. I was also very generous in gifts and paying for the groceries and stuff, but this cannot be counted, but the 70 euros are related to precise things, for instance i bought tickets to a show for the 2 of us, and she would never ask how much she owed. Or we went to a taoo shop because she neede supplies, didn't have cash, so i would pay. I tried to not pay attention to those "details". But now i think it was a red flag. I think it's a question of control for her. I think money might be a symbol for something else for her. Anyway, she never again mentioned owing me money after that, or that she would reimburse me.
At first i thought i would wait for us 2 to meet to gently talk about the debt. But now i wonder if i should do it by message, after we set a date. If i manage to do it. But I'm a bit afraid that if i bring the money issue by message she starts ghosting me and i don't get anything or we have to create more drama. I wonder if she is trying to irritate me by not answering.
What do you think about this whole situation ? Should i wait to see her in person to mention the money or should i do it by message ?
And should i wait for her to reply or should i insist ?