Post by morningstar on Feb 8, 2021 8:49:09 GMT
Hello everyone,
This is the situation I'm currently going through.
I met this guy online in mid-December, he is 35, I'm 37. We started texting, he seemed very into me and I fell for him, quite hard, I'm afraid. We went on three dates and things got physical on the 4th date, almost a month in. After that, we still kept in contact, he texted me multiple times during the day to make sure I'm ok, to ask how I'm doing, talking about stuff we would do in the future, etc. I tried to make plans to see him again and he ignored the message completely... twice. I mean he left me on read, then 3 hrs later, acted like I hadn't said anything. It started gnawing at me. Now, I'd like to mention that from what I can tell, I am AA and to the best of my knowledge, he is FA because he seemed insecure about himself. He kept the conversations on a mostly shallow level, when I went deeper he just said he has been hurt before and he doesn't like to make plans, just to see how things go. My anxious side got triggered pretty badly by this and after about 2 weeks of chatting casually, I confronted him about this. I asked if he wanted to see me again, he said yes. I told him I was confused because he straight up ignored me and asked him to put himself in my shoes. He didn't reply
One day later, he started updating his facebook page with pictures of himself, he had no pictures whatsoever when we first started chatting. I waited for another day then deleted him from my friend list because it hurt me too much to see him online and wonder what he was up to and who with.
About 2 days after this (4 days after the argument), I sent him a message asking what had happened. He didn't reply so I thanked him for all the beautiful moments and wished him the best.
I started reading about the ghosting situation, I discovered the attachment theory and it all seems to fit into place.
It's been a week with no reply, it was only yesterday he read the message although he could've seen the Whatsapp notification and read it when I sent it. I don't plan on contacting him again because I have no idea what to say and I don't know if anything would help.
So, here I am, confused and heart-broken because we were great together and we had amazing chemistry. My biggest regrets are 1.learning about attachment theory only after the fact and 2.how I handled the confrontation. I wasn't snappish, just frustrated but even so.
I don't know if there's any chance of a reconnection, right now I just miss him like crazy and I desperately want a do-over.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, I'm half-venting, half-looking for clarity.
This is the situation I'm currently going through.
I met this guy online in mid-December, he is 35, I'm 37. We started texting, he seemed very into me and I fell for him, quite hard, I'm afraid. We went on three dates and things got physical on the 4th date, almost a month in. After that, we still kept in contact, he texted me multiple times during the day to make sure I'm ok, to ask how I'm doing, talking about stuff we would do in the future, etc. I tried to make plans to see him again and he ignored the message completely... twice. I mean he left me on read, then 3 hrs later, acted like I hadn't said anything. It started gnawing at me. Now, I'd like to mention that from what I can tell, I am AA and to the best of my knowledge, he is FA because he seemed insecure about himself. He kept the conversations on a mostly shallow level, when I went deeper he just said he has been hurt before and he doesn't like to make plans, just to see how things go. My anxious side got triggered pretty badly by this and after about 2 weeks of chatting casually, I confronted him about this. I asked if he wanted to see me again, he said yes. I told him I was confused because he straight up ignored me and asked him to put himself in my shoes. He didn't reply
One day later, he started updating his facebook page with pictures of himself, he had no pictures whatsoever when we first started chatting. I waited for another day then deleted him from my friend list because it hurt me too much to see him online and wonder what he was up to and who with.
About 2 days after this (4 days after the argument), I sent him a message asking what had happened. He didn't reply so I thanked him for all the beautiful moments and wished him the best.
I started reading about the ghosting situation, I discovered the attachment theory and it all seems to fit into place.
It's been a week with no reply, it was only yesterday he read the message although he could've seen the Whatsapp notification and read it when I sent it. I don't plan on contacting him again because I have no idea what to say and I don't know if anything would help.
So, here I am, confused and heart-broken because we were great together and we had amazing chemistry. My biggest regrets are 1.learning about attachment theory only after the fact and 2.how I handled the confrontation. I wasn't snappish, just frustrated but even so.
I don't know if there's any chance of a reconnection, right now I just miss him like crazy and I desperately want a do-over.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, I'm half-venting, half-looking for clarity.
