Post by elisa on Mar 18, 2021 20:47:47 GMT
Hi everyone,
I’m new to this forum and very happy to read that I’m not the only one struggling. I feel very sad and low in my energy. And somehow feel like my life is slipping away from me because I’ve spent a year chasing someone who’s hot and cold with me. I’m an anxious preoccupied person and I suspect that he’s a fearful avoidant. I’m not sure because he was very depressed for a while and I can’t tell whether his behavior stems from his depression or his attachment style or even a combination.
In the beginning I sensed that he was interested although he never made a move. I was the one who suggested to go for drinks after 2 months of texting everyday. We had a couple of dates and then one day he told me about his past and opened up. I was okay with his past but the next day he pulled away from me which triggered my anxiety greatly. We had a conversation about it and he told me that I deserved better and that he wasn’t good enough for me. I was so sad about this but accepted it. We kept texting each other and seeing each other and eventually ended up having dates again. And then he pulled away again.
Since then he keeps contacting me and we see each other sometimes as friends. I don’t know what he wants and it’s killing me.
The reason why I don’t stop seeing him is because he was never mean to me or has blamed me for anything. We never slept together (I don’t know why but he never tried). Sometimes I feel like he wants to be with me and sometimes I think he doesn’t. When my anxiety is triggered I always think he wants to go back to his ex because they sometimes text each other too.
I don’t know what to do. Obviously I thought about cutting of all contact but that made me so miserable. Is there anyone who would be willing to give me advice?
I’m new to this forum and very happy to read that I’m not the only one struggling. I feel very sad and low in my energy. And somehow feel like my life is slipping away from me because I’ve spent a year chasing someone who’s hot and cold with me. I’m an anxious preoccupied person and I suspect that he’s a fearful avoidant. I’m not sure because he was very depressed for a while and I can’t tell whether his behavior stems from his depression or his attachment style or even a combination.
In the beginning I sensed that he was interested although he never made a move. I was the one who suggested to go for drinks after 2 months of texting everyday. We had a couple of dates and then one day he told me about his past and opened up. I was okay with his past but the next day he pulled away from me which triggered my anxiety greatly. We had a conversation about it and he told me that I deserved better and that he wasn’t good enough for me. I was so sad about this but accepted it. We kept texting each other and seeing each other and eventually ended up having dates again. And then he pulled away again.
Since then he keeps contacting me and we see each other sometimes as friends. I don’t know what he wants and it’s killing me.
The reason why I don’t stop seeing him is because he was never mean to me or has blamed me for anything. We never slept together (I don’t know why but he never tried). Sometimes I feel like he wants to be with me and sometimes I think he doesn’t. When my anxiety is triggered I always think he wants to go back to his ex because they sometimes text each other too.
I don’t know what to do. Obviously I thought about cutting of all contact but that made me so miserable. Is there anyone who would be willing to give me advice?