Post by soho on Nov 5, 2017 18:06:31 GMT
After having read the thread of Invert12 and having had an argument with my wife I realised (again) that sex is serious business for me. I can be gentle and do pay attention to the foreplay etc, but I'm always very focused when we re making love. My wife is kind of DA, and is way less into sex. She does put some effort to please me, i.e. allowing me to seduce her etc, but it often clashes 'cause I end up feeling frustrated (it wasn t enough or it was great and I don t want to wait another week) instead of appreciating my wife's effort. I believe I would behave more relaxed if I would have better sex more often, but I'm not sure that would fix all of it.
It's like a sportsman married to a woman that doesn t like to sport. The man begs his wife to join her on a sportstrip. After months and months the wife finally agrees to join her husband. The trip starts with a hike, both are happy, but when after 30 minutes the wife wants to take a break and go to a pub, the husband gets frustrated and angry. He wanted to spend an active weekend the way he wanted since ever. The wife doesn t understand his reaction and feels not appreciated.
I know sex is a mean for anxious people to feel secured. And I know about some ways to reduce the focus on sex. But I m not sure if all AP's have sex in the same "passionate" 100% focuses way. I d love to do some sexting, plan a romantic evening, buy sexy lingerie for my wife, spend hours in bed, etc. But when I give my wife a kiss on the lips she tells me to take it easy. She just wants a gentle loving kiss, nothing more.
Is this normal behavior, is it only about hormones or could one say my view on sex is typically AP? And if it would be AP, how so you cope with this in order to have it streamlined with a non AP partner?
It's like a sportsman married to a woman that doesn t like to sport. The man begs his wife to join her on a sportstrip. After months and months the wife finally agrees to join her husband. The trip starts with a hike, both are happy, but when after 30 minutes the wife wants to take a break and go to a pub, the husband gets frustrated and angry. He wanted to spend an active weekend the way he wanted since ever. The wife doesn t understand his reaction and feels not appreciated.
I know sex is a mean for anxious people to feel secured. And I know about some ways to reduce the focus on sex. But I m not sure if all AP's have sex in the same "passionate" 100% focuses way. I d love to do some sexting, plan a romantic evening, buy sexy lingerie for my wife, spend hours in bed, etc. But when I give my wife a kiss on the lips she tells me to take it easy. She just wants a gentle loving kiss, nothing more.
Is this normal behavior, is it only about hormones or could one say my view on sex is typically AP? And if it would be AP, how so you cope with this in order to have it streamlined with a non AP partner?