Post by anne12 on Sept 22, 2021 12:00:49 GMT
We humans want to be happy
We have even developed a culture where one is almost a loser if we are not happy all the time.
We may think, "There must be something wrong with me, since I am not happy and happy like everyone else is!"
You ARE normal! Because our brain is NOT designed for happiness 24/7.
That is, you should not expect to be eternally happy ... On the contrary, the reward system of the brain is designed in such a way that it takes more and more to achieve the same feeling of joy and satisfaction.
The drug is called dopamine - this is what is at stake in the hot infatuation phase(along with the stress hormone norepinephrine). - this is also what is released if, for example. taking heroin or reaching ones goals. - or just doing something new that goes well, e.g. when I succeed in doing this for the first time in that way.
If you have experienced something that was so difficult that it was overwhelming - and you at the same time has lacked support and loving presence,…. Then trauma energy may have settled in the nervous system. It will close your heart so that love and your happiness are even further away 💔
If you then feel good anyway, and you maybe even open your heart and are happy - the trauma energy will pull you out of happiness ... It's because of something that's really good.
This is because our nervous system is designed to heal trauma by itself!
Healing is done by the system using the resources (the good condition) to draw the energy out of the traumas. Voila! It's super smart, isn 'it?
NOT! not if you have so much trauma energy in store that you are never really "allowed" to feel happy and happy (for a long time).
EVERY time I was happy -then I flew back into the trauma vortex and a closed heart instantly or after a short period of time:
- Abandonment, sadness, lack of energy and in relationships the direct path to conflict and distance.
As a therapist I have seen this again and again in my clients, course participants and students. It can be a great relief to discover - if you experience something similar - that it is not YOU who is wrong!
But the cause is situations and perhaps relationships that have overwhelmed your nervous system. That your nervous system may therefore have gone TOO much out of balance ...
Time does not heal all wounds! It is in this state - that is, when there is too much traumatic energy in the nervous system - that time cannot "heal all wounds." That no matter how long the nervous system works to get back into balance, it can not by itself, if it has gone TOO far out of balance.
Although it is designed to heal
What do you do then? We humans are herd animals and heal when we are with present humans.
You may know this from the fact that you may feel more comfortable after a present meeting with a good friend or family member. A shortcut to opening your heart, your joy and happiness is to get help to heal your nervous system. Therefore it can be a good thing to work with a good se/attatchment therapist.
We have even developed a culture where one is almost a loser if we are not happy all the time.
We may think, "There must be something wrong with me, since I am not happy and happy like everyone else is!"
You ARE normal! Because our brain is NOT designed for happiness 24/7.
That is, you should not expect to be eternally happy ... On the contrary, the reward system of the brain is designed in such a way that it takes more and more to achieve the same feeling of joy and satisfaction.
The drug is called dopamine - this is what is at stake in the hot infatuation phase(along with the stress hormone norepinephrine). - this is also what is released if, for example. taking heroin or reaching ones goals. - or just doing something new that goes well, e.g. when I succeed in doing this for the first time in that way.
If you have experienced something that was so difficult that it was overwhelming - and you at the same time has lacked support and loving presence,…. Then trauma energy may have settled in the nervous system. It will close your heart so that love and your happiness are even further away 💔
If you then feel good anyway, and you maybe even open your heart and are happy - the trauma energy will pull you out of happiness ... It's because of something that's really good.
This is because our nervous system is designed to heal trauma by itself!
Healing is done by the system using the resources (the good condition) to draw the energy out of the traumas. Voila! It's super smart, isn 'it?
NOT! not if you have so much trauma energy in store that you are never really "allowed" to feel happy and happy (for a long time).
EVERY time I was happy -then I flew back into the trauma vortex and a closed heart instantly or after a short period of time:
- Abandonment, sadness, lack of energy and in relationships the direct path to conflict and distance.
As a therapist I have seen this again and again in my clients, course participants and students. It can be a great relief to discover - if you experience something similar - that it is not YOU who is wrong!
But the cause is situations and perhaps relationships that have overwhelmed your nervous system. That your nervous system may therefore have gone TOO much out of balance ...
Time does not heal all wounds! It is in this state - that is, when there is too much traumatic energy in the nervous system - that time cannot "heal all wounds." That no matter how long the nervous system works to get back into balance, it can not by itself, if it has gone TOO far out of balance.
Although it is designed to heal
What do you do then? We humans are herd animals and heal when we are with present humans.
You may know this from the fact that you may feel more comfortable after a present meeting with a good friend or family member. A shortcut to opening your heart, your joy and happiness is to get help to heal your nervous system. Therefore it can be a good thing to work with a good se/attatchment therapist.