ron
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Posts: 17
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Post by ron on Apr 19, 2022 0:10:53 GMT
I think my ex GF of 4 months was both DA and Covert Narcissist, but I found her very confusing overall, and I would appreciate any feedback you might have. Many of her qualities fit in well with DA but she also has super low self-esteem.
Her only two relationships of more than 2-3 months were with Overt Narcissistic men. She was married to one of them for 15 years and lived with the other for 12 years. The second relationship ended 14 years ago but she is currently still business partners with him. She has had very few relationships outside of the two mentioned above, and her descriptions of those men indicate all were narcissists, or at least men with a number of narcissistic traits. According to her, she is now finally ready for a “normal” man. She could not explain why her desires have changed or if a “normal” man would/could work for her.
Here are some of my additional observations of her:
When she told me about the narcissistic men she has had relationships with (this began on our first date) I had the distinct impression she was portraying herself as a victim and soliciting my sympathy for her.
On our second date she started denigrating herself physically telling me that she has a fat stomach, saggy boobs, and skinny legs. The first weekend I spent with her she spent most of it talking about the plastic surgeries she wants to get (numerous) and we watched YouTube videos about celebrity plastic surgeries. When I told her that I thought she looked great, she basically told me I was just being nice. I had the strong impression that at times like these she was fishing for compliments and then rejected them.
She described herself as lacking a “sensitivity chip”. This turned out to be her way of letting me know that she lacks empathy, has no awareness of her own feelings, and refuses to ever discuss feelings in any context. Once on A FaceTime call, I mentioned the word emotion and she almost immediately started running around the room (she had been sitting on a couch the first 30 minutes). It was some kind of anxiety attack.
Even though she has low self-esteem, she is extremely self-centered. Our conversations consisted 90% of her telling long stories about herself with all the feeling elements removed. She was either the hero or the victim in all of these stories.
Our sex life was very robotic in that she wanted the same type of touching exactly the same way, in the same order, EVERY time. There was virtually no kissing, holding or conversations. If I did talk about my feelings at those times, she was mostly silent. She later shared with me that my discussion of my feelings made her extremely anxious.
Not affectionate, at all.
Control freak: Even though she lived 50 miles from me she insisted we spend all of our time at, or close by her house. She has a 31 year old son who has his own apartment but still spends Fridays and half day Saturdays with her. This was awkward, particularly since he is a convicted felon with minimal social skills. They have an extremely co-dependent relationship which she acknowledges but does nothing to change.
She is a workaholic who prides herself on working 12 hour days. Her only outlet for stress is her masochistically tough weightlifting workouts. She limits her sleep to 5-6 hours a night.
She says that romantic relationships “should be as easy and simple as friendships” (she has no friends).
There is zero chance she will ever work on her intimacy issues. She told me that she has never shared her inner world with anyone and never will. She also said she wouldn’t ever see a therapist and if she ever did, would refuse to share her feelings with them.
Just to be clear, we have been no contact for two months and I have no interest in ever getting back with her. I have blocked her from all social media as well as on my phone. I am just trying to better understand her so I can get clear on why I was ever attracted to her to begin with. Posting this was actually pretty embarrassing since she had about as many red flags as it is possible to have, and I still dated her, even though it was for a short time. From going through the Forum posts I definitely realize that I need to work on my Anxious Preoccupied Attachment to have a Secure relationship with anyone in the future. I am currently seeing a therapist and I am also utilizing some of the suggested exercises on this Forum as well.
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Post by cherrycola on Apr 19, 2022 0:28:54 GMT
The answer of why you were attracted to her has nothing to do with understanding her better and everything to do with understanding yourself better. Your patterns, and how these tie back into your earliest relationships. Trying to diagnose someone with a personality disorder is just shifting the focus from yourself which is uncomfortable, to her. It also won't get you anywhere, even if she is a narcissist, what does that change? The attraction all came from within.
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Post by alexandra on Apr 19, 2022 0:37:32 GMT
I agree with cherrycola. While she does sound like she may have a personality disorder (and it had a bad impact on her son as well), it doesn't really matter. All that matters is she's a terrible partner and you're on to the next question: what in your past and your psyche and attachment style and prior wounds attracted you to this situation? What needs was this meeting for you? I'll also point out that since narcissists lack empathy, lack object constancy, project, and victimize themselves, you can't believe anything she said about her prior relationships. Those men may not have also been narcissists, she may be a very unreliable narrator and everything she said they did, she might have actually done. So that's another reason I'd take the focus way off her because you already have gotten to the next step you needed to get to (your own introspection about why you stayed with her), and work through it from there. |
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Post by tnr9 on Apr 19, 2022 0:43:17 GMT
I think my ex GF of 4 months was both DA and Covert Narcissist, but I found her very confusing overall, and I would appreciate any feedback you might have. Many of her qualities fit in well with DA but she also has super low self-esteem. Her only two relationships of more than 2-3 months were with Overt Narcissistic men. She was married to one of them for 15 years and lived with the other for 12 years. The second relationship ended 14 years ago but she is currently still business partners with him. She has had very few relationships outside of the two mentioned above, and her descriptions of those men indicate all were narcissists, or at least men with a number of narcissistic traits. According to her, she is now finally ready for a “normal” man. She could not explain why her desires have changed or if a “normal” man would/could work for her. Here are some of my additional observations of her: When she told me about the narcissistic men she has had relationships with (this began on our first date) I had the distinct impression she was portraying herself as a victim and soliciting my sympathy for her. On our second date she started denigrating herself physically telling me that she has a fat stomach, saggy boobs, and skinny legs. The first weekend I spent with her she spent most of it talking about the plastic surgeries she wants to get (numerous) and we watched YouTube videos about celebrity plastic surgeries. When I told her that I thought she looked great, she basically told me I was just being nice. I had the strong impression that at times like these she was fishing for compliments and then rejected them. She described herself as lacking a “sensitivity chip”. This turned out to be her way of letting me know that she lacks empathy, has no awareness of her own feelings, and refuses to ever discuss feelings in any context. Once on A FaceTime call, I mentioned the word emotion and she almost immediately started running around the room (she had been sitting on a couch the first 30 minutes). It was some kind of anxiety attack. Even though she has low self-esteem, she is extremely self-centered. Our conversations consisted 90% of her telling long stories about herself with all the feeling elements removed. She was either the hero or the victim in all of these stories. Our sex life was very robotic in that she wanted the same type of touching exactly the same way, in the same order, EVERY time. There was virtually no kissing, holding or conversations. If I did talk about my feelings at those times, she was mostly silent. She later shared with me that my discussion of my feelings made her extremely anxious. Not affectionate, at all. Control freak: Even though she lived 50 miles from me she insisted we spend all of our time at, or close by her house. She has a 31 year old son who has his own apartment but still spends Fridays and half day Saturdays with her. This was awkward, particularly since he is a convicted felon with minimal social skills. They have an extremely co-dependent relationship which she acknowledges but does nothing to change. She is a workaholic who prides herself on working 12 hour days. Her only outlet for stress is her masochistically tough weightlifting workouts. She limits her sleep to 5-6 hours a night. She says that romantic relationships “should be as easy and simple as friendships” (she has no friends). There is zero chance she will ever work on her intimacy issues. She told me that she has never shared her inner world with anyone and never will. She also said she wouldn’t ever see a therapist and if she ever did, would refuse to share her feelings with them. Just to be clear, we have been no contact for two months and I have no interest in ever getting back with her. I have blocked her from all social media as well as on my phone. I am just trying to better understand her so I can get clear on why I was ever attracted to her to begin with. Posting this was actually pretty embarrassing since she had about as many red flags as it is possible to have, and I still dated her, even though it was for a short time. From going through the Forum posts I definitely realize that I need to work on my Anxious Preoccupied Attachment to have a Secure relationship with anyone in the future. I am currently seeing a therapist and I am also utilizing some of the suggested exercises on this Forum as well. She doesn’t sound like a DA or a covert narc to me. She does however have a history of trauma inducing relationships so no wonder she isn’t able to have something that in any way is normal…especially if she has received zero therapy. I was involved with an Narcissist for 3 years and it caused so many changes in my ability to be a good partner…to trust myself or others….I can’t imagine the harm in such long term relationships. I know you would like to put a label on her to explain her pattern of behaviors and lack of intimacy. I do have a question however….I assume these behaviors she displayed were there from the beginning? If so…..what compelled you to stay in the relationship when she wasn’t able to be an equal partner with you? Were you hoping she would change? |
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ron
New Member
Posts: 17
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Post by ron on Apr 19, 2022 2:06:44 GMT
The answer of why you were attracted to her has nothing to do with understanding her better and everything to do with understanding yourself better. Your patterns, and how these tie back into your earliest relationships. Trying to diagnose someone with a personality disorder is just shifting the focus from yourself which is uncomfortable, to her. It also won't get you anywhere, even if she is a narcissist, what does that change? The attraction all came from within. I understand what you are saying about the need to focus on my own history and patterns. Her possibly having a personality disorder actually fits closely with my family background, as both of my parents had personality disorders. My mother had Borderline Personality Disorder and my father had Schizoid Personality Disorder. Because my parents had pretty severe issues I sometimes find myself drawn to troubled women, some of them with PDs. I am aware of a pattern that I have of trying to "rescue" troubled women. That was the role my mother gave me-to save her. Since it was ultimately not possible to save her from her mental illness, I think I unconsciously search for women that I might potentially make a difference for. I could see from the start that this women had issues but I thought they were limited to trouble with intimacy and it didn't occur to me she might have been a Covert until the relationship had ended. My wanting to determine whether she has Covert Narcissism is not important in itself, but might be helpful for me to know in looking at my own patterns of inappropriate attachment, especially since they are being driven unconsciously some (most?) of the time. Regardless, her diagnosis is a very tiny part of my overall work towards becoming more secure and I fully realize that. I have already seen from my reading on this Forum that I was deluding myself to even think I could help someone with intimacy issues since THEY must make that choice and also to freely choose to do the necessary work to achieve greater intimacy (if this is even something that they desire at all). |
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ron
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Posts: 17
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Post by ron on Apr 19, 2022 2:23:07 GMT
I agree with cherrycola . While she does sound like she may have a personality disorder (and it had a bad impact on her son as well), it doesn't really matter. All that matters is she's a terrible partner and you're on to the next question: what in your past and your psyche and attachment style and prior wounds attracted you to this situation? What needs was this meeting for you? I'll also point out that since narcissists lack empathy, lack object constancy, project, and victimize themselves, you can't believe anything she said about her prior relationships. Those men may not have also been narcissists, she may be a very unreliable narrator and everything she said they did, she might have actually done. So that's another reason I'd take the focus way off her because you already have gotten to the next step you needed to get to (your own introspection about why you stayed with her), and work through it from there. I appreciate your feedback. It is great that you point out that she is a very unreliable narrator and everything she told me about herself and other people is not to be believed. That is very true and although I know better, I think that I forgot this in her case. Thank you for acknowledging that I am off to the next step of why I stayed with her for even a short time. I do not believe that a Secure would have gone on a second date with her! My mother had Borderline Personality Disorder and she gave me the role of "golden child" with the job of rescuing her from herself. Needless to say I failed at this impossible task and now I sometimes find myself drawn to troubled women that I unconsciously hope are more "savable" than she was. This Forum has already been a huge help for me, in those posts that stress that someone has to choose to put in the work towards healthy emotional intimacy and we cannot do it for someone, or even convince someone who does not want to put in the effort themselves. We can only work on ourselves and meet them half way-IF they are also willing. |
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Post by anne12 on Apr 19, 2022 2:24:55 GMT
ronWith the parents you grew up with, I would also check out desorganised attatchmentstyle. Maybe you only got maybe 5-10 percent desorganized attatchment style. Ap can be a camouflaged desorganized attatchment style. We often got a mix of different attatchmentstyles. “Mother and / or father or possibly siblings or other close family members have been overwhelming, painful, scary or mother and father's relationship has been. What has happened, has not made any sense to the child at all. The parents have signaled: "Come here and stay away!" Or have switched between extreme conditions without regard to the child's signals. It happens, for example, if the adults are toxicated. For children it is very scary with a alcoholic parent! Parents may have put the child in situations, where the child had to chose, regardless of what it chooced - would feel wrong. For example, one could choose between taking care of her mother, making her happy while ignoring herself and her well-being. Or another example: That mother threatened suicide, or went away and maybe gone for several hours. Or a third example: to choose between mother and father and similar bad situations! Or there has been an abuse in the family, either something you've been exposed to, or something you've witnessed. The child may suffer exposure to: Loud voices Explosive behavior Emotional abuse Physical abuse Sexual abuse A parent with a mental illness/depression/a parent with unresolved trauma A parent with NPD, BPD, ASPD ect. An alcoholic parent Parents who argued a lot Infront of the child A parent with stress A parent with an unregulated nerveussystem ect. As an adult, love is therefore scary, while you need it. It shows up in the instinktive level of the brain/nerveussystem. It´s trauma. This is a level that lies deeper than both feelings and thoughts. The parents themselves may be afraid, just generating “emergency room energy” from their own unresolved trauma in their past. They may not actually be doing something scary like yelling or hitting or being abusive, but they might also have those behaviors, so you have to look at what was the situation; in either case you get a strong overcoupling, a strong tangling-up of the attachment system trying to attach, and at the very same time, the survival system locking in, trying to get to safety and get away. So it creates a lot of internal physical, psychological, and emotional confusion, which then gets transferred into adult relationships; and because so much of it is pre-verbal, sub-psychological and unconscious, you might attain a certain level of intimacy with your partner, and then – without having any clue why – just hit this terror, hit this disorganization and feel this strong need to get away. It’s really hard on adult relationships, because you or your partner do not really know why it’s happening. It was so deeply patterned in your internal relationship template before awareness was available to make sense of it – a conditioned, “reflexive” relationship pattern wrecking havoc years later, uninvited, into your intimate dyadic relationship. Remember there are other situations that can give trauma/push you int desorganized attatchment style (operations, bullying, accident, bad relationsships, a death early in life ect…..” jebkinnisonforum.com/thread/1073/healing-disorganized-attatchment-chock-trauma
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ron
New Member
Posts: 17
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Post by ron on Apr 19, 2022 2:35:15 GMT
I think my ex GF of 4 months was both DA and Covert Narcissist, but I found her very confusing overall, and I would appreciate any feedback you might have. Many of her qualities fit in well with DA but she also has super low self-esteem. Her only two relationships of more than 2-3 months were with Overt Narcissistic men. She was married to one of them for 15 years and lived with the other for 12 years. The second relationship ended 14 years ago but she is currently still business partners with him. She has had very few relationships outside of the two mentioned above, and her descriptions of those men indicate all were narcissists, or at least men with a number of narcissistic traits. According to her, she is now finally ready for a “normal” man. She could not explain why her desires have changed or if a “normal” man would/could work for her. Here are some of my additional observations of her: When she told me about the narcissistic men she has had relationships with (this began on our first date) I had the distinct impression she was portraying herself as a victim and soliciting my sympathy for her. On our second date she started denigrating herself physically telling me that she has a fat stomach, saggy boobs, and skinny legs. The first weekend I spent with her she spent most of it talking about the plastic surgeries she wants to get (numerous) and we watched YouTube videos about celebrity plastic surgeries. When I told her that I thought she looked great, she basically told me I was just being nice. I had the strong impression that at times like these she was fishing for compliments and then rejected them. She described herself as lacking a “sensitivity chip”. This turned out to be her way of letting me know that she lacks empathy, has no awareness of her own feelings, and refuses to ever discuss feelings in any context. Once on A FaceTime call, I mentioned the word emotion and she almost immediately started running around the room (she had been sitting on a couch the first 30 minutes). It was some kind of anxiety attack. Even though she has low self-esteem, she is extremely self-centered. Our conversations consisted 90% of her telling long stories about herself with all the feeling elements removed. She was either the hero or the victim in all of these stories. Our sex life was very robotic in that she wanted the same type of touching exactly the same way, in the same order, EVERY time. There was virtually no kissing, holding or conversations. If I did talk about my feelings at those times, she was mostly silent. She later shared with me that my discussion of my feelings made her extremely anxious. Not affectionate, at all. Control freak: Even though she lived 50 miles from me she insisted we spend all of our time at, or close by her house. She has a 31 year old son who has his own apartment but still spends Fridays and half day Saturdays with her. This was awkward, particularly since he is a convicted felon with minimal social skills. They have an extremely co-dependent relationship which she acknowledges but does nothing to change. She is a workaholic who prides herself on working 12 hour days. Her only outlet for stress is her masochistically tough weightlifting workouts. She limits her sleep to 5-6 hours a night. She says that romantic relationships “should be as easy and simple as friendships” (she has no friends). There is zero chance she will ever work on her intimacy issues. She told me that she has never shared her inner world with anyone and never will. She also said she wouldn’t ever see a therapist and if she ever did, would refuse to share her feelings with them. Just to be clear, we have been no contact for two months and I have no interest in ever getting back with her. I have blocked her from all social media as well as on my phone. I am just trying to better understand her so I can get clear on why I was ever attracted to her to begin with. Posting this was actually pretty embarrassing since she had about as many red flags as it is possible to have, and I still dated her, even though it was for a short time. From going through the Forum posts I definitely realize that I need to work on my Anxious Preoccupied Attachment to have a Secure relationship with anyone in the future. I am currently seeing a therapist and I am also utilizing some of the suggested exercises on this Forum as well. She doesn’t sound like a DA or a covert narc to me. She does however have a history of trauma inducing relationships so no wonder she isn’t able to have something that in any way is normal…especially if she has received zero therapy. I was involved with an Narcissist for 3 years and it caused so many changes in my ability to be a good partner…to trust myself or others….I can’t imagine the harm in such long term relationships. I know you would like to put a label on her to explain her pattern of behaviors and lack of intimacy. I do have a question however….I assume these behaviors she displayed were there from the beginning? If so…..what compelled you to stay in the relationship when she wasn’t able to be an equal partner with you? Were you hoping she would change? I do believe that she is a Covert Narcissist but that is only important in regards to my own history and relationship patterns. My mother was Borderline and I have had a couple of relationships with Personality Disordered women, one was a Borderline and one was a Narcissist. This history and how that woman did, or didn't, fit into it could be a little bit helpful for me. Yes I could see she had intimacy issues from the start, but didn't suspect she was a Covert until later on. I foolishly was hoping I could help her become an equal partner who could grow emotionally. I am so appreciative of this community because I now realize that a person themselves must decide they want to grow in emotional intimacy and be willing to put in the work. She NEVER gave me any indication that this was the case. |
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Post by tnr9 on Apr 19, 2022 2:59:11 GMT
She doesn’t sound like a DA or a covert narc to me. She does however have a history of trauma inducing relationships so no wonder she isn’t able to have something that in any way is normal…especially if she has received zero therapy. I was involved with an Narcissist for 3 years and it caused so many changes in my ability to be a good partner…to trust myself or others….I can’t imagine the harm in such long term relationships. I know you would like to put a label on her to explain her pattern of behaviors and lack of intimacy. I do have a question however….I assume these behaviors she displayed were there from the beginning? If so…..what compelled you to stay in the relationship when she wasn’t able to be an equal partner with you? Were you hoping she would change? I do believe that she is a Covert Narcissist but that is only important in regards to my own history and relationship patterns. My mother was Borderline and I have had a couple of relationships with Personality Disordered women, one was a Borderline and one was a Narcissist. This history and how that woman did, or didn't, fit into it could be a little bit helpful for me. Yes I could see she had intimacy issues from the start, but didn't suspect she was a Covert until later on. I foolishly was hoping I could help her become an equal partner who could grow emotionally. I am so appreciative of this community because I now realize that a person themselves must decide they want to grow in emotional intimacy and be willing to put in the work. She NEVER gave me any indication that this was the case. As long as the information is used in order for you to move forward to working on your own issues and not to focus on her then that is fine. And yes….trying to “help” someone is a big red flag because it means you are attracted to people with issues. |
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Post by alexandra on Apr 19, 2022 2:59:21 GMT
ron, if it makes you feel any better in a clarity kind of way, having close relatives with personality disorders absolutely causes attachment issues and other struggles. Which also means there's expertise out there in recovering from it, because there are typical patterns and examples, and people who have addressed their backgrounds, learned new and healthier tools to cope and process with stress, emotions, boundaries, communication, and relationships, and gotten past all of it to a healthier and happier place. You are very right to recognize that you are "primed" for relationships with these types of women. It is a very familiar dynamic in regards to what love and attachment feels like to you. That doesn't mean it is healthy or makes you happy, but recognizing and coming to that conclusion in the first place, that there is a direct relationship between your childhood dynamic priming you and who you've been attracted to as an adult, is very important.
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ron
New Member
Posts: 17
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Post by ron on Apr 19, 2022 3:22:49 GMT
ron , if it makes you feel any better in a clarity kind of way, having close relatives with personality disorders absolutely causes attachment issues and other struggles. Which also means there's expertise out there in recovering from it, because there are typical patterns and examples, and people who have addressed their backgrounds, learned new and healthier tools to cope and process with stress, emotions, boundaries, communication, and relationships, and gotten past all of it to a healthier and happier place. You are very right to recognize that you are "primed" for relationships with these types of women. It is a very familiar dynamic in regards to what love and attachment feels like to you. That doesn't mean it is healthy or makes you happy, but recognizing and coming to that conclusion in the first place, that there is a direct relationship between your childhood dynamic priming you and who you've been attracted to as an adult, is very important. "Priming" is a very good way of describing it. One of the specialties of the therapist I am currently working with is helping adult children of Personality Disordered parents recover overall and in their romantic relationships. I have had therapy previously but this is the first time with someone who specializes in the type of background that I have. It is helping a lot and I believe that the trauma I experienced makes my Anxious Attachment more energized and my reactions to (for example) DAs more extreme at times. Step by step I am noticing improvement, and I am determined to do whatever it takes, to get to Secure. |
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Post by ctlguy260 on May 11, 2022 22:14:28 GMT
The beginning of a relationship with a covert should have felt very close and amazing. The love bombing phase. They will crave supply from you and when they have you they will begin to devalue you. I do not see anyone being a DA at all in the first 4 months. I think my ex GF of 4 months was both DA and Covert Narcissist, but I found her very confusing overall, and I would appreciate any feedback you might have. Many of her qualities fit in well with DA but she also has super low self-esteem. Her only two relationships of more than 2-3 months were with Overt Narcissistic men. She was married to one of them for 15 years and lived with the other for 12 years. The second relationship ended 14 years ago but she is currently still business partners with him. She has had very few relationships outside of the two mentioned above, and her descriptions of those men indicate all were narcissists, or at least men with a number of narcissistic traits. According to her, she is now finally ready for a “normal” man. She could not explain why her desires have changed or if a “normal” man would/could work for her. Here are some of my additional observations of her: When she told me about the narcissistic men she has had relationships with (this began on our first date) I had the distinct impression she was portraying herself as a victim and soliciting my sympathy for her. On our second date she started denigrating herself physically telling me that she has a fat stomach, saggy boobs, and skinny legs. The first weekend I spent with her she spent most of it talking about the plastic surgeries she wants to get (numerous) and we watched YouTube videos about celebrity plastic surgeries. When I told her that I thought she looked great, she basically told me I was just being nice. I had the strong impression that at times like these she was fishing for compliments and then rejected them. She described herself as lacking a “sensitivity chip”. This turned out to be her way of letting me know that she lacks empathy, has no awareness of her own feelings, and refuses to ever discuss feelings in any context. Once on A FaceTime call, I mentioned the word emotion and she almost immediately started running around the room (she had been sitting on a couch the first 30 minutes). It was some kind of anxiety attack. Even though she has low self-esteem, she is extremely self-centered. Our conversations consisted 90% of her telling long stories about herself with all the feeling elements removed. She was either the hero or the victim in all of these stories. Our sex life was very robotic in that she wanted the same type of touching exactly the same way, in the same order, EVERY time. There was virtually no kissing, holding or conversations. If I did talk about my feelings at those times, she was mostly silent. She later shared with me that my discussion of my feelings made her extremely anxious. Not affectionate, at all. Control freak: Even though she lived 50 miles from me she insisted we spend all of our time at, or close by her house. She has a 31 year old son who has his own apartment but still spends Fridays and half day Saturdays with her. This was awkward, particularly since he is a convicted felon with minimal social skills. They have an extremely co-dependent relationship which she acknowledges but does nothing to change. She is a workaholic who prides herself on working 12 hour days. Her only outlet for stress is her masochistically tough weightlifting workouts. She limits her sleep to 5-6 hours a night. She says that romantic relationships “should be as easy and simple as friendships” (she has no friends). There is zero chance she will ever work on her intimacy issues. She told me that she has never shared her inner world with anyone and never will. She also said she wouldn’t ever see a therapist and if she ever did, would refuse to share her feelings with them. Just to be clear, we have been no contact for two months and I have no interest in ever getting back with her. I have blocked her from all social media as well as on my phone. I am just trying to better understand her so I can get clear on why I was ever attracted to her to begin with. Posting this was actually pretty embarrassing since she had about as many red flags as it is possible to have, and I still dated her, even though it was for a short time. From going through the Forum posts I definitely realize that I need to work on my Anxious Preoccupied Attachment to have a Secure relationship with anyone in the future. I am currently seeing a therapist and I am also utilizing some of the suggested exercises on this Forum as well. |
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