Post by seeking on Apr 20, 2022 1:12:08 GMT
You all have helped me so much with getting clear on things when they are muddled.
I have a friend who has a very similar issue that I can relate to but it's easier for me to see it in her than myself and I'm trying to figure out what it is.
There's a few components of it but
1 is thinking she's missing out on what everyone else has. Like somehow other people have their hand on the pulse, and she doesn't even know how to get there. Or is like still figuring out how to "do life" as an adult human.
2 is this sense that everyone out there is having a really great time and she has it way harder -- this part I've done a lot of work on personally but it can still feel triggering, esp when I see my own sister and how easy and comfy her life is, I go into "woe is me" mode BIG TIME like MAJOR BIG TIME (it's very painful, actually). But I don't really have this a lot otherwise; maybe a little with people who find relationships, etc. but my friend seems to think like everyone out there is having a grand time and something is wrong with her/she can't, etc.
3 is a vague persistent sense of never getting to have what she wants. Like really always trying, putting in the time, doing "the work," etc, so much effort, and very little of what she actually wants (this one stumps me too).
4 and last I guess is a sense that people should meet her needs - not in a demanding way, but like being with a guy who is great, but if he can't meet her in *all the places she needs* - she is not getting what she wants (something like that). I am less like this - but I also haven't been in a relationship in a long long time.
Curious if this is a "type" or all fits together in some way that I'm not seeing....
I have a friend who has a very similar issue that I can relate to but it's easier for me to see it in her than myself and I'm trying to figure out what it is.
There's a few components of it but
1 is thinking she's missing out on what everyone else has. Like somehow other people have their hand on the pulse, and she doesn't even know how to get there. Or is like still figuring out how to "do life" as an adult human.
2 is this sense that everyone out there is having a really great time and she has it way harder -- this part I've done a lot of work on personally but it can still feel triggering, esp when I see my own sister and how easy and comfy her life is, I go into "woe is me" mode BIG TIME like MAJOR BIG TIME (it's very painful, actually). But I don't really have this a lot otherwise; maybe a little with people who find relationships, etc. but my friend seems to think like everyone out there is having a grand time and something is wrong with her/she can't, etc.
3 is a vague persistent sense of never getting to have what she wants. Like really always trying, putting in the time, doing "the work," etc, so much effort, and very little of what she actually wants (this one stumps me too).
4 and last I guess is a sense that people should meet her needs - not in a demanding way, but like being with a guy who is great, but if he can't meet her in *all the places she needs* - she is not getting what she wants (something like that). I am less like this - but I also haven't been in a relationship in a long long time.
Curious if this is a "type" or all fits together in some way that I'm not seeing....
