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Post by anne12 on May 3, 2022 11:38:00 GMT
DATING
Want to share some of your best "thank you but no thank you" dating rejection phrases ?
what do you write when you have been on a date, and do not think there is a match, and have to write no thank you (in a proper and friendly) way.
Maybe you even have a standard phrase you use?
And what kind of text would you prefer to receive as a da ?
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Post by introvert on May 3, 2022 13:37:42 GMT
Short and polite and clear.
I've sent:
Thank you for taking the time to meet with me this evening. I do not feel that we are a potential match, but I do wish you the best. Take care.
The same in return is preferred, no fuss no muss and no apology as I don't feel it's something to apologize for to not want to proceed, it's just a part of the process of meeting and exploring. There shouldn't be much on the line at all the first time we meet, and that's why contact beforehand should be limited to basics, like arranging a date. Getting all wrapped around the axle before you've even met leads to complicated, expectation-ridden situations that make saying "No thank you" way too awkward.
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rykus9
Junior Member
Posts: 90
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Post by rykus9 on May 3, 2022 14:15:11 GMT
Short and polite and clear. I've sent: Thank you for taking the time to meet with me this evening. I do not feel that we are a potential match, but I do wish you the best. Take care. The same in return is preferred, no fuss no muss and no apology as I don't feel it's something to apologize for to not want to proceed, it's just a part of the process of meeting and exploring. There shouldn't be much on the line at all the first time we meet, and that's why contact beforehand should be limited to basics, like arranging a date. Getting all wrapped around the axle before you've even met leads to complicated, expectation-ridden situations that make saying "No thank you" way too awkward. I've not progressed to dating from an at all secure place.i think your reply shows a much more secure dynamic. I honestly just never call back or contact them again. Avoid. I may say something if they msg me, but if it's a guilt msg I would 90% avoid. If friendly I would probably reply and say I'm too busy. But a call I would 100% avoid and would feel anxiety over. |
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Post by introvert on May 3, 2022 14:21:33 GMT
Short and polite and clear. I've sent: Thank you for taking the time to meet with me this evening. I do not feel that we are a potential match, but I do wish you the best. Take care. The same in return is preferred, no fuss no muss and no apology as I don't feel it's something to apologize for to not want to proceed, it's just a part of the process of meeting and exploring. There shouldn't be much on the line at all the first time we meet, and that's why contact beforehand should be limited to basics, like arranging a date. Getting all wrapped around the axle before you've even met leads to complicated, expectation-ridden situations that make saying "No thank you" way too awkward. I've not progressed to dating from an at all secure place.i think your reply shows a much more secure dynamic. I honestly just never call back or contact them again. Avoid. I may say something if they msg me, but if it's a guilt msg I would 90% avoid. If friendly I would probably reply and say I'm too busy. But a call I would 100% avoid and would feel anxiety over. Yeah, IDK if it always came from a secure place but I have tended to always just lay it on the table. Could come from a background in business negotiations where I received training in that, knowing when to say no and get up from the table with everyone's personal rights and dignity intact so to speak. |
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Post by introvert on May 3, 2022 14:26:38 GMT
But I mean, there was a whole span of years I couldn't be bothered to get to the first date so I don't have a huge amount of texts I've sent out about saying no after meeting. I typically have sent that text before getting there. As I have mentioned I politely rejected my boyfriend twice in this same way before we ran into each other IRL and began a platonic association.
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Post by introvert on May 4, 2022 2:05:52 GMT
Oh shoot, I forgot about this: there was a time during which I was experimenting with online dating and new at it, and would say no thanks via a white lie. Forgot about this! But a couple of times I made up a lie about something I had to take care of... "Something's come up, I won't be available, so sorry; best of luck. ". CRINGE. I wanted to make it clear I didn't wish to proceed and wasn't direct because I felt that this was more acceptable than just choosing not to proceed.
This is something my best friend still does and we cringe together about that, and the fact that I've done it. I'm encouraging her to try the direct route and she finds herself unable to at this point. I quickly learned there was less internal discomfort if I just told it plain and didn't offer a reason- unless there was something that crossed a boundary with me and then I would go ahead and say what it was and excuse myself from the situation.
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