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Post by Dualcitizen on Feb 12, 2020 20:09:49 GMT
Check out the ACE study on the link between childhood trauma and chronic illness later in life. Of course this doesn’t apply specifically to a particular attachment style,ie FA, but it does show a strong link between illness in adulthood as a result of trauma as a child. The study was done on 17,000 adults so is considered to be comprehensive and reliable in terms of its findings. Just my two cents. Good point Amber, I should have linked that as well, as I read that the other week, was interesting |
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Post by dhali on Feb 12, 2020 20:38:52 GMT
Check out the ACE study on the link between childhood trauma and chronic illness later in life. Of course this doesn’t apply specifically to a particular attachment style,ie FA, but it does show a strong link between illness in adulthood as a result of trauma as a child. The study was done on 17,000 adults so is considered to be comprehensive and reliable in terms of its findings. Just my two cents. Awesome! Thanks. And just so we are aligned, we agree anxious preoccupied have experienced childhood trauma in many cases, right? |
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Post by Helsbells on Feb 12, 2020 20:56:30 GMT
I’m fa and very rarely get sick. Once every couple of years. And I have kids who get sick A few times per year. I personally find this thread to be grasping at straws. Also waaaaay too much focus on other people. Almost disturbingly so. Should we also analyze what time during the day they poop first? We are talking about our experiences with our fa partners. I am mainly fa and have had alopecia in a relationship that was really stressful to me as an fa. |
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Post by Helsbells on Feb 12, 2020 20:58:53 GMT
I’m fa and very rarely get sick. Once every couple of years. And I have kids who get sick A few times per year. I personally find this thread to be grasping at straws. Also waaaaay too much focus on other people. Almost disturbingly so. Should we also analyze what time during the day they poop first? Really not grasping at straws. You sound more secure to me. |
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Post by nyc718 on Feb 12, 2020 21:02:31 GMT
Whatevs. You can believe anything you want. But I love the scientific studies in here about illnesses associated with attachment type. This is what falls under anecdotal at best, amongst a highly biased sample set, who also all share the common attribute of searching for answers to explain things they find unexplainable. Yes, we should gather this data and the reference it later when newcomers come by desperately seeking answers on either how they are at fault, or not at fault for a seemingly perfect relationship exploding. “OMG, yes! He totally got sick In The first 2 months! So textbook” Aliens to poke at, or is it that you’re actually concerned for their well being? This should be a safe place to share without judgment or ridicule, and you're being a massive jerk. Whatevs. |
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Post by nyc718 on Feb 12, 2020 21:07:15 GMT
I’m fa and very rarely get sick. Once every couple of years. And I have kids who get sick A few times per year. I personally find this thread to be grasping at straws. Also waaaaay too much focus on other people. Almost disturbingly so. Should we also analyze what time during the day they poop first? Really not grasping at straws. You sound more secure to me. I disagree with this. |
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Post by Helsbells on Feb 12, 2020 21:09:18 GMT
Whatevs. You can believe anything you want. But I love the scientific studies in here about illnesses associated with attachment type. This is what falls under anecdotal at best, amongst a highly biased sample set, who also all share the common attribute of searching for answers to explain things they find unexplainable. Yes, we should gather this data and the reference it later when newcomers come by desperately seeking answers on either how they are at fault, or not at fault for a seemingly perfect relationship exploding. “OMG, yes! He totally got sick In The first 2 months! So textbook” Aliens to poke at, or is it that you’re actually concerned for their well being? This should be a safe place to share without judgment or ridicule, and you're being a massive jerk. Whatevs. You always come across as very self assured and quite arrogant. You stand out from most genuine vulnerable people sharing off this forum. Makes me wonder if and why you really need to be on a forum like this were people are sharing honestly about themselves and what they have experienced. You come across as someone who really doesn't need to be on a support forum for attachment trauma as you have it all so sussed |
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Post by dhali on Feb 12, 2020 21:10:11 GMT
This is funny. This thread is one big judgement. Let’s come up with anecdotes to stereotype an attachment type. The scientific evidence is the word trauma. Which applies to multiple attachment types. But you’re offended at someone calling this out as a stereotype. I don’t know what to say.
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Post by Helsbells on Feb 12, 2020 21:14:25 GMT
This is funny. This thread is one big judgement. No it's not, we are telling our truths. |
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Post by dhali on Feb 12, 2020 21:16:36 GMT
I also guess you’ve missed the multiple posts of me being vulnerable on here sharing my experiences, but so be it
Science isn’t big in these parts.
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Post by nyc718 on Feb 12, 2020 21:18:14 GMT
I also guess you’ve missed the multiple posts of me being vulnerable on here sharing my experiences, but so be it Science isn’t big in these parts. [br You just mocked everyone sharing. Do you not see that? Sensitivity is not your strong suit. |
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Post by dhali on Feb 12, 2020 21:20:04 GMT
It’s misguided, imo
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Post by Helsbells on Feb 12, 2020 21:21:46 GMT
This is funny. This thread is one big judgement. Let’s come up with anecdotes to stereotype an attachment type. The scientific evidence is the word trauma. Which applies to multiple attachment types. But you’re offended at someone calling this out as a stereotype. I don’t know what to say. I'm sure if you posted this on the ap thread they would to Express how there emotional feelings manifested to the physical and showed up in many unwanted ways. Trauma is trauma and will always show up in the physical. Glad you never got sick, lucky you. |
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Post by Helsbells on Feb 12, 2020 21:25:31 GMT
I also guess you’ve missed the multiple posts of me being vulnerable on here sharing my experiences, but so be it Science isn’t big in these parts. It's not about your threads being vulnerable it's the way you dis what others are sharing there truths. I know what I experienced with my fa and you mocked that. That isnt nice. |
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Post by Helsbells on Feb 12, 2020 21:33:15 GMT
Awesome! Thanks. And just so we are aligned, we agree anxious preoccupied have experienced childhood trauma in many cases, right? I'd say anyone — regardless of attachment style — could have experienced childhood trauma... especially true for insecure attachments of any kind. Trauma can be many things and in many forms. One of the things I've read before is that "little t trauma" spread out over a long time can be more long-term destructive to one's emotional/mental/etc development than one event "big T trauma." I don't know if that's true, I'm sure we could all argue against that or for it, but always thought it was interesting. I'm not one to say which attachment style has more "problems," but know we all have a ton and insecures don't handle problems well a lot of the time. I can only speak to AP and those FAs/DAs I've known and read about though. For me as AP-leaning working to get to secure, I certainly see physical impacts of stress, emotional whirlwinds, etc — whether related to romantic relationships or not. For me, work and romantic relationships usually have the most impact of me, but friendships used to severely as well as personal sabotage used to have more as well. To the point, at my most toxic job with a narc boss, my hair started falling out, I have rashes on my skin, my hands and arms would go numb, and weird stuff that I'd never experienced before and couldn't be found related to anything — even after ER and doctor visits. All went away shortly after I left that environment but the emotional impact lingered. Overall I used to be way sicker and more frequently before I started addressing the deep root causes of my depression/anxiety (for me attachment related). Everything from kidney stones, flu, strep, cysts, etc etc. I'd also say I was sick to get out of things I was too anxious / depressed to do. Not that sickness is only caused by those things, but it certainly can a lot of time. And trauma based physical symptoms are a real thing. For FA in my life, he's sick a lot. Can't sleep at all. During periods directly after what appear to be when deactivations start or during (but I don't totally know), I've seen him have unexplained things causing hospital visits to months of the flu, etc. Constant other stomach and especially head / sinus / heart racing / etc too. Caroline my sister is secure and rarely gets ill in relationships. I am an insecure and have battled anxiety depression insomnia IBS alopecia mainly in romantic relationships but also around my parents. It's not fun and like you I am working on becoming more secure. I still have anxiety but most off the previous ailments I have overcome. Xx |
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