Post by fflame88 on May 3, 2016 0:52:37 GMT
I just finished reading the book How to love (or leave an avoidant) book. It was so incredibly insightful! My therapist recommended I read it after I recently went through a bad break up. i was involved in a long distance relationship with a woman in Michigan and I live in Toronto.
We met two years ago online and hit it off really well. I'm south Asian and 27 and she is Italian and 34. We would FaceTime and talk every day.
In December 2015 we met for the first time and it was absolutely magical. We were both just head over heels for each other. We subsequently met four more times and things were great. Her passion did wane a bit, but it was still great. We started talking about marriage, kids and a future. This last meeting (one month ago) was amazing. On her volition, we actually went ring shopping. That weekend for the first time we had intercourse (even though we were intimate before) and she spoke to my sister on the phone too. We decided to meet two weeks later.
Things were great after I came back to Toronto. Suddenly, a few days before I was supposed to meet her again she started becoming weird and slightly distant. Then on Thursday (the day before I was supposed to go), she said I couldn't come because her ex husband took up extra shifts and she would have the daughter. For the next two weeks she was just very distant, aloof and foggy. She didn't talk on the phone. I thought it was work stress and stress with her upcoming divorce and child custody hearings. She started hinting at "cultural differences" between us.
On the day of the court hearing, Thursday, she texted me that it didn't go well. She didn't reply to any of my texts for the next four days and on Tuesday she dumped me by saying "cultural differences she can't see past". She ended a two year relationship over two text messages.
I am literally in shambles. I really imagined a future with this woman, and she broke up in such a cold way. I told my therapist about all this and she postulated that she could be a fearful avoidant personality type. That is when I came across your book and you. A lot of things do fit, especially her childhood...which was rough and traumatic.
I'm just very desperate for answers and solutions. I really do love this woman, and miss her a lot. Can you please weigh in on this? Is there anything I can do to get her back? Or just give her space?
I eagerly look forward to hearing from you. I thank you in advance for your help and advice.
We met two years ago online and hit it off really well. I'm south Asian and 27 and she is Italian and 34. We would FaceTime and talk every day.
In December 2015 we met for the first time and it was absolutely magical. We were both just head over heels for each other. We subsequently met four more times and things were great. Her passion did wane a bit, but it was still great. We started talking about marriage, kids and a future. This last meeting (one month ago) was amazing. On her volition, we actually went ring shopping. That weekend for the first time we had intercourse (even though we were intimate before) and she spoke to my sister on the phone too. We decided to meet two weeks later.
Things were great after I came back to Toronto. Suddenly, a few days before I was supposed to meet her again she started becoming weird and slightly distant. Then on Thursday (the day before I was supposed to go), she said I couldn't come because her ex husband took up extra shifts and she would have the daughter. For the next two weeks she was just very distant, aloof and foggy. She didn't talk on the phone. I thought it was work stress and stress with her upcoming divorce and child custody hearings. She started hinting at "cultural differences" between us.
On the day of the court hearing, Thursday, she texted me that it didn't go well. She didn't reply to any of my texts for the next four days and on Tuesday she dumped me by saying "cultural differences she can't see past". She ended a two year relationship over two text messages.
I am literally in shambles. I really imagined a future with this woman, and she broke up in such a cold way. I told my therapist about all this and she postulated that she could be a fearful avoidant personality type. That is when I came across your book and you. A lot of things do fit, especially her childhood...which was rough and traumatic.
I'm just very desperate for answers and solutions. I really do love this woman, and miss her a lot. Can you please weigh in on this? Is there anything I can do to get her back? Or just give her space?
I eagerly look forward to hearing from you. I thank you in advance for your help and advice.
