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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2018 4:55:01 GMT
most of us do not even care to date anxious now that we are in recovery this times 100! i think being repelled by the most toxic pairing of all is itself a sign of recovery, for me. the AP/DA debate is such a moot point for me, because that dynamic only lasts because of deep dysfunction. Research suggests it doesn’t get worse than that for both partners i think lol |
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Post by goldilocks on Feb 12, 2018 7:24:37 GMT
Same here!
I am quite capable of clearly communicating my boundaries and only interested in dating guys who are mostly healthy.
Those guys generally respect boundaries.
It really requires dysfunctional thinking to break through a boundary that has been clearly communicated.
For example, if I would say I do not accept surprise visitors at my door, what could make a guy think it is a good idea to pop over?
Either he does not care what I like and need, which makes him a guy to avoid.
Or he thinks he knows my needs better than I do and assumes I need to be intruded upon and forced into something for my own good.
In both cases, he does not respect me as an adult who is capable of making decisions and as a sentient being who has needs and feelings.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2018 13:26:04 GMT
Same here! I am quite capable of clearly communicating my boundaries and only interested in dating guys who are mostly healthy. Those guys generally respect boundaries. It really requires dysfunctional thinking to break through a boundary that has been clearly communicated. For example, if I would say I do not accept surprise visitors at my door, what could make a guy think it is a good idea to pop over? Either he does not care what I like and need, which makes him a guy to avoid. Or he thinks he knows my needs better than I do and assumes I need to be intruded upon and forced into something for my own good. In both cases, he does not respect me as an adult who is capable of making decisions and as a sentient being who has needs and feelings. my thoughts exactly. |
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