|
|
Post by Jaeger on Feb 5, 2018 20:41:39 GMT
I know, only I can set myself free- but this is so incredibly painful, I just want some control and relief in the pain.... Any suggestions? I think you know the best route to take here, but you're searching for a way around it. Temporarily giving in to your need for control, no matter how understandable, will only reinforce the thought that you HAVE control over these situations, which in my experience we don't have. My suggestion, and no doubt the harder of the two options, is to let all of the pain and insecurity in fully and work through it. You're still looking towards your ex to play a role in getting rid of your pain and insecurity, when the only true, long term solution rests inside of you. Through that, you can find a way to feel in control while knowing you have none and find relief in your own ability and strength to move past this. I know it might not feel that way right now, but you don't need anything from him to get to where you want to be. |
|
|
|
Post by kristyrose on Feb 5, 2018 21:32:35 GMT
I know, only I can set myself free- but this is so incredibly painful, I just want some control and relief in the pain.... Any suggestions? I think you know the best route to take here, but you're searching for a way around it. Temporarily giving in to your need for control, no matter how understandable, will only reinforce the thought that you HAVE control over these situations, which in my experience we don't have. My suggestion, and no doubt the harder of the two options, is to let all of the pain and insecurity in fully and work through it. You're still looking towards your ex to play a role in getting rid of your pain and insecurity, when the only true, long term solution rests inside of you. Through that, you can find a way to feel in control while knowing you have none and find relief in your own ability and strength to move past this. I know it might not feel that way right now, but you don't need anything from him to get to where you want to be. I was nodding through tears while reading this. You are right, I do know the answers. I've been dodging the pain for the past 9 months and while all i want is some relief right now, there is a smidgen of comfort knowing I'm finally in the thick of it and need to go forward in order to come out on the other side. Thank you for this. |
|
|
|
Post by Jaeger on Feb 5, 2018 21:52:37 GMT
I was nodding through tears while reading this. You are right, I do know the answers. I've been dodging the pain for the past 9 months and while all i want is some relief right now, there is a smidgen of comfort knowing I'm finally in the thick of it and need to go forward in order to come out on the other side. Thank you for this. Any time. I can guarantee you that in time, it gets easier. I've been where you are and if it helps you in any way, please feel free to message me if you need to vent or talk through what you're going through. In my experience, it helps to have someone to talk to and I think a lot of us are here to help you through this if you need us as you have been for others. |
|
