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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 16:31:07 GMT
something that is really front and center for me at this point of my recovery, is paying attention to my inner truth and making decisions and boundaries that are in line with what i truly want and need.
it's hard for me to get my head around what a people pleaser i have been, although i'm not sure i have been passive and gone along with things in order to please- it may have been more along the lines of just not being very engaged and having the capacity to distance myself even while "going along with it".
I have had several "tests " recently of my sincerity to be authentic and live in line with my inner truth.
Situations where something is proposed to me, with an expectation behind it. Instantly, in these situations, i have felt my inner guidance, and knew what i wanted to do (and not do).
in the past, i would have done all kinds of prevarication, avoidance, not dealing squarely with the issue and not feeling at peace.
Each time this comes up for me now, i am making decisive, clear decisions and following through with very clear but respectful communication, not negotiable, but respectful.
my boundaries are firm and well tended, and appropriate , not impinging on anyone but also being clear about what i want for my own life and purpose.
This has been a joy to me, to say no when i mean no, to say yes when i mean yes, to live authentically.
it is very refreshing and i feel light.
i have sadness and grief about some of the bigger things i have had to say NO to (my recent ex 😥)
but- i'm healing in ways i couldn't have imagined and would not have been possible if i had not started to honor my own heart.
Just wanted to share this with my tribe. 😘
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 16:47:59 GMT
also, with every victory like this comes a new wave of grief for the girl i have been who didn't know how to honor herself and went along with the obliteration of her body, her heart, her mind.
I'm back and doing better than i ever dreamed but i missed out for a long time.
i am so serious about living the rest of my life in line with my heart and mind.
even healing puts that painful lump in my throat and i might cry more this year than i have in my entire life.
i think i already have.
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Post by goldilocks on Feb 26, 2018 17:47:52 GMT
in the past, i would have done all kinds of prevarication, avoidance, not dealing squarely with the issue and not feeling at peace. Each time this comes up for me now, i am making decisive, clear decisions and following through with very clear but respectful communication, not negotiable, but respectful. my boundaries are firm and well tended, and appropriate , not impinging on anyone but also being clear about what i want for my own life and purpose. This has been a joy to me, to say no when i mean no, to say yes when i mean yes, to live authentically. it is very refreshing and i feel light. ((Tgat)) ❤❤❤ Amidst all the grief it sounds beautiful and inspiring. I would really want to learn how to do this and could really use your help. Would you be willing to show me how you did this? |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 17:55:39 GMT
@tgat, I am so happy you have made a breakthrough. It's by letting the pain come through, that we can heal. I, too, have cried more the past 2 months than I have in 15 years. It's incredibly healing and enlightening. You have been shaken awake and are gaining clarity. It's a powerful journey.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 18:35:21 GMT
in the past, i would have done all kinds of prevarication, avoidance, not dealing squarely with the issue and not feeling at peace. Each time this comes up for me now, i am making decisive, clear decisions and following through with very clear but respectful communication, not negotiable, but respectful. my boundaries are firm and well tended, and appropriate , not impinging on anyone but also being clear about what i want for my own life and purpose. This has been a joy to me, to say no when i mean no, to say yes when i mean yes, to live authentically. it is very refreshing and i feel light. ((Tgat)) ❤❤❤ Amidst all the grief it sounds beautiful and inspiring. I would really want to learn how to do this and could really use your help. Would you be willing to show me how you did this? i am happy to. remember the thread about sitting with my feelings? the part where i ask my throat why it hurts, what happened? if you read that thread again and understand i am having a dialog with my heart, it speaks through my body and once it tells me what i need, i make a commitment to do that. its all in that thread. ❤️ i have been doing this this for a while and now it has become my first nature to listen immediately. that's the change. it's been a process . it's been me remembering my love for myself. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 18:42:36 GMT
@tgat , I am so happy you have made a breakthrough. It's by letting the pain come through, that we can heal. I, too, have cried more the past 2 months than I have in 15 years. It's incredibly healing and enlightening. You have been shaken awake and are gaining clarity. It's a powerful journey. i am very thankful we found each other here mary. ❤️ thank you |
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Post by goldilocks on Feb 26, 2018 21:39:40 GMT
((Tgat)) ❤❤❤ Amidst all the grief it sounds beautiful and inspiring. I would really want to learn how to do this and could really use your help. Would you be willing to show me how you did this? i am happy to. remember the thread about sitting with my feelings? the part where i ask my throat why it hurts, what happened? if you read that thread again and understand i am having a dialog with my heart, it speaks through my body and once it tells me what i need, i make a commitment to do that. its all in that thread. ❤️ i have been doing this this for a while and now it has become my first nature to listen immediately. that's the change. it's been a process . it's been me remembering my love for myself. Thank you! I will make a practice of asking my heart when I am ready. My mind has some difficulty trusting that my heart will speak to it, but I just started therapy focussing on the connection between body and emotion. I feel like this will somehow work on the same plane but my mind is not yet accepting the idea if that makes sense. Or accepting that it need not be involved in this practice as it is a heart-body practice where my mind only needs to listen. I feel uneasy not intellectualizing the practice and think I also make it difficult for myself exactly by intellectualizing it. Wow, actually this is probably a core part of my problem. I can perceive my emotions in my body from the perspective of my mind. I can describe my feelings in my heart from the perspective of my mind, but I feel uneasy taking the perspective of my heart feeling into my body or taking the perspective of my body sensing my heart. |
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Deleted
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Saying No
Feb 26, 2018 22:20:33 GMT
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 22:20:33 GMT
i am happy to. remember the thread about sitting with my feelings? the part where i ask my throat why it hurts, what happened? if you read that thread again and understand i am having a dialog with my heart, it speaks through my body and once it tells me what i need, i make a commitment to do that. its all in that thread. ❤️ i have been doing this this for a while and now it has become my first nature to listen immediately. that's the change. it's been a process . it's been me remembering my love for myself. Thank you! I will make a practice of asking my heart when I am ready. My mind has some difficulty trusting that my heart will speak to it, but I just started therapy focussing on the connection between body and emotion. I feel like this will somehow work on the same plane but my mind is not yet accepting the idea if that makes sense. Or accepting that it need not be involved in this practice as it is a heart-body practice where my mind only needs to listen. I feel uneasy not intellectualizing the practice and think I also make it difficult for myself exactly by intellectualizing it. Wow, actually this is probably a core part of my problem. I can perceive my emotions in my body from the perspective of my mind. I can describe my feelings in my heart from the perspective of my mind, but I feel uneasy taking the perspective of my heart feeling into my body or taking the perspective of my body sensing my heart. i get it. if your throat aches ask the little girl sitting in front of you what's going on and what she needs you to listen to. she's obviously got something to say. if you feel punched in the chest ask her who punched her. Sometimes she might tell you you are the one who punched her. that smarts but trust me you will make it right, once you hear it from her. that's where it started years ago for me. now i don't see her i talk directly to my body and it talks back. lookout, someone is going to come medicate us and take us away lol. i'll go with you if they have good food wherever they are taking us 😂😍 |
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Saying No
Feb 26, 2018 22:21:42 GMT
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 22:21:42 GMT
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Post by goldilocks on Feb 26, 2018 22:42:16 GMT
Thank you, I'll start working like this! I have spoken to and cuddled my child self as part of the healing process, so I can do this more frequently as a regular practice. LOL Hippocrates said “Leave your drugs in the chemist's pot if you can heal the patient with food." I'm sure he referred to good food and wine :-) I'll make it clear that we suspend disbelief to enable the practice to be effective rather than sit around hallucinating. A sane person knows the difference. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2018 22:44:10 GMT
Thank you, I'll start working like this! I have spoken to and cuddled my child self as part of the healing process, so I can do this more frequently as a regular practice. LOL Hippocrates said “Leave your drugs in the chemist's pot if you can heal the patient with food." I'm sure he referred to good food and wine :-) I'll make it clear that we suspend disbelief to enable the practice to be effective rather than sit around hallucinating. A sane person knows the difference. 😂😂😂😍😘🤗 |
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Saying No
Feb 27, 2018 10:20:27 GMT
via mobile
Post by mrob on Feb 27, 2018 10:20:27 GMT
@tgat , I am so happy you have made a breakthrough. It's by letting the pain come through, that we can heal. I, too, have cried more the past 2 months than I have in 15 years. It's incredibly healing and enlightening. You have been shaken awake and are gaining clarity. It's a powerful journey. i am very thankful we found each other here mary. ❤️ thank you Now I’m bloody crying!! |
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fifi
New Member
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Saying No
Feb 27, 2018 11:52:50 GMT
via mobile
Post by fifi on Feb 27, 2018 11:52:50 GMT
I’m glad to see some cases of healing. I am looking forward to mine soon❤️ Well done, people for surviving!!
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Lola
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Post by Lola on Feb 27, 2018 14:52:31 GMT
((Tgat)) ❤❤❤ Amidst all the grief it sounds beautiful and inspiring. I would really want to learn how to do this and could really use your help. Would you be willing to show me how you did this? i am happy to. remember the thread about sitting with my feelings? the part where i ask my throat why it hurts, what happened? if you read that thread again and understand i am having a dialog with my heart, it speaks through my body and once it tells me what i need, i make a commitment to do that. its all in that thread. ❤️ i have been doing this this for a while and now it has become my first nature to listen immediately. that's the change. it's been a process . it's been me remembering my love for myself. How strange. When I began reading this my heart hurt, but now it stopped. If what you're saying is true than perhaps it stopped because you gave me hope. Thank you! |
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Deleted
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Saying No
Feb 27, 2018 15:01:53 GMT
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2018 15:01:53 GMT
i am happy to. remember the thread about sitting with my feelings? the part where i ask my throat why it hurts, what happened? if you read that thread again and understand i am having a dialog with my heart, it speaks through my body and once it tells me what i need, i make a commitment to do that. its all in that thread. ❤️ i have been doing this this for a while and now it has become my first nature to listen immediately. that's the change. it's been a process . it's been me remembering my love for myself. How strange. When I began reading this my heart hurt, but now it stopped. If what you're saying is true than perhaps it stopped because you gave me hope. Thank you! i am touched by all the support and love of everyone who participated with me here. very touched. |
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