|
|
Post by vtemt1976 on Aug 1, 2016 17:18:31 GMT
10 months ago I met this amazing man. He was so sweet and attentive. Within a month he told me he loved me and wanted me to move in and I did. Everything seemed perfect except in the bedroom. He said he doesn't have a high sex drive and he is tired when when he gets home from work. In the beginning we would have sex a couple times a week but it always seemed mechanical. Now its a weeks at a time between. He has slowly backed off romantically too but he talks about our future. He said he wants to put my name on his house and when he gets a new truck he wants my name on it too. He texts often and tells me he loves me and will cuddle on the couch. I know he has a porn addiction and I have tried to talk to him about it but he denies it and gets very defensive. We are very compatible in many ways and I do love him very much. I have an appointment to see a therapist this week to help me with my own sense of security but I would love some ideas how to approach my boyfriend to see if he would be willing to get some help being comfortable with intimacy. He has a very low self esteem and his father was very critical of him growing up. I don't want to give up without trying but I am willing to leave if I need to.
|
|
katy
Sticky Post Powers
Posts: 147 
|
Post by katy on Aug 1, 2016 17:58:37 GMT
A very quick thought - has he been thoroughly checked by a competent medical doctor? I'm not an expert but I think that testosterone levels and thyroid levels can be involved. Thyroid is very complex, so you need to find a physician who really knows about thyroid. Your therapist probably knows about knowledgeable physicians.
Best of luck.
Katy
|
|
|
|
Post by vtemt1976 on Aug 1, 2016 18:35:33 GMT
Actually he has thyroid cancer and has been been undergoing treatment for several years. I had not heard of the thyroid contributing to these behaviors.
|
|
katy
Sticky Post Powers
Posts: 147
|
Post by katy on Aug 1, 2016 19:07:09 GMT
Thyroid cancer means on-going chemotherapy or radiation? I could suspect that his thyroid hormones could be very discombobulated. I have a complex thyroid imbalance which is finally being treated properly. But, I originally had two doctors who didn't know what they were doing. The first doctor had me literally feeling physically sick and in excruciating pain. The second one had me living in the shadows - nothing in life was interesting or alluring. I felt as though I was a car running on the wrong octane fuel - I was living on the fringe of life. I could see how somebody who never felt really well could seem withdrawn because I was very withdrawn when my thyroid was not correctly balanced.
I don't know if they are testing his thyroid hormones, but complete testing should include:
TSH Total T4 Free T4 Total T3 Free T3 Thyroid Antibody Levels Reverse T3
Free T4 and Free T3 should ideally be in the upper 50% of the range Reverse T3 should be low
I had cancer several years ago and chemo and radiation are exhausting. Also, just knowing that you have cancer takes a huge emotional toll.
I don't know him, but he sounds like a nice person who may often be dealing with a health burden which is draining him.
I hope things work out for you.
Katy
|
|
